


Branded By You

by Peryton



Series: Soul Games [1]
Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, The Hunger Games (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, F/F, Slow Burn, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-14
Updated: 2016-02-14
Packaged: 2018-05-01 15:18:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 45,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5210738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peryton/pseuds/Peryton
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Soulmate AU. Johanna hears the name of her soulmark at the district Twelve reaping for the 74th Hunger Games.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Johanna sat next to Blight on the podium, a bored expression carefully maintained while Jingles picked the next tributes from Seven,

“The female tribute in the seventy… the next hunger games, for District Seven is. Willow for the female tributes.” The escort for Seven sounded as tired as Johanna at the proceedings and stood motionless centre stage as the peacekeepers started making their way towards the young redheaded girl in the middle of the ever widening circle of lucky Sevens.

“Jesus, Jingles doesn’t even try any more does she?”

“You know she hates when you call her Jingles.” Blight murmured back, “and since when did you care about her showmanship? You’re the one saying no one from Seven ever has a chance. Even though we’re both proof of your fallacy.” Blight winced as the small girl struggled to make her way through the silent crowd and scale the podium stairs, but no one watching Johanna would have picked up on any reaction to the names called. The boy was already up on the podium, he was trying not to show any emotion, Johanna could approve of that but he needed more practice. Not that he was likely to get any now he’s been reaped.

“Stop pretending to be educated Blight, you grew up cutting down trees just like the rest of us. And you know as well as I do One and Two have this thing sewn up. The odds get worse the further you get from the Capitol.” After Jingles spouted the same old Capitol lines to the crowd they were all bundled off to the mayor’s house where the tributes would say goodbye to their family.  
  


Johanna glared at the projection screen in the mayor’s house; they were waiting for the reaping to be finished before they could get on the train and to the Capitol. The boy, Ash as Blight had reminded her after she called him by the wrong name -all the tree names got on your nerves after a while in Seven, was it her fault she couldn’t keep them straight in her head? He was gripping the chair so tightly it looked like it would splinter, staring straight ahead. He might have had decent odds, but when he had been saying goodbye to his family she had seen a little mouse poke its head out of his pocket. He wouldn’t get far killing children if he kept vermin as pets. The girl, Willow, seemed too calm; likely it hadn’t sunk in yet Johanna thought as she observed them while keeping half an eye on the large screen showing the reapings for the next districts. Nine and Ten had passed without anyone sticking out, someone altogether too brightly dressed and cheerful who could only be from the Capitol was currently pulling out the female tribute’s name for Eleven when Johanna sighed loudly, her and Blight usually switched who would take up the mentoring roles for the tributes from their district and this year was her turn. Blight had to go too of course, but it made it slightly easier being in the Capitol when you didn’t know the children being slaughtered for fun, but this year she was the one who had to try and convince the Capitol elite to sponsor her lost causes. Or she could deal with it through a haze of alcohol like Haymitch, or morphling like the victors from Six. Of course it was the Capitol, there would always be events they would have to attend and make nice for. Or Blight would, Johanna had never played nice, she had been burnt for that in the past. Maybe she should have followed the Sixes lead and dimmed everything with narcotics, they were never invited to the parties Snow gave, or asked to ‘entertain’ his current favourites, but that was a little too much like giving up and letting them win for Johanna. Besides, it wasn’t like she had anything left for Snow to threaten her with. No, she would continue to do what she wanted, say what she wanted and damn the consequences, a steely glint returned to her eye as she contemplated returning to the Capitol. There were these games to get through though; she swept her gaze over the children sitting quietly beside her, coolly evaluating them. The girl could play the game the way she had she mused, it would be great not to have to watch someone else she worked for die for the Capitol’s entertainment. Of course she was probably fooling herself into thinking they had a chance. The girl kept gripping her upper arm, probably where her soulmark was. Johanna hoped she had already met the person she was destined for, as her odds for meeting them before she died had just dropped dramatically.  
  


She was brought out of her reverie by the screen announcing the reaping of District Twelve, Haymitch looked as drunk as ever she thought as she lazily watched the last of the proceedings before they would be allowed to leave Seven. The male tribute was announced and Johanna sighed loudly, earning her a glare from a nearby peacekeeper, she missed the name of the girl from Twelve but her eyes were drawn back to the screen watching a young brunette rushing forward through the crowds shouting that she volunteered.

“That’s unusual for Twelve.” Blight broke the silence contemplatively, Johanna didn’t answer, she couldn’t take her eyes from the brunette making her way resolutely to the podium.

“A volunteer!” Effie trilled, “The first for District Twelve, what’s your name dear?” The girl said something, but Johanna thought she must have misheard through the blood rushing loudly in her ears. “Katniss Everdeen! And I’ll bet that young girl there was your sister?”

 

No. that can’t be right. It can’t be her Katniss, but how many people were there with that name? And what if she had Johanna’s name scrawled in her untidy script somewhere on her body? Johanna went numb and she ignored everyone trying to draw her into conversation about the first volunteer from Twelve and the silent three finger salute the District had given to her. That was it then. Her soulmark had just volunteered for the quell. Of course she was hers, of course Johanna would get someone idiotic enough to _volunteer_ for the Games.

“Hey, Jo what’s up with you?” Blight’s face slowly blurred back into focus and Johanna turned her head wearily to look at him. “You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.” He looked concernedly at her.

 

Johanna breathed a sigh of relief, he didn’t know then. And the peacekeepers were ignoring her, she wasn’t sure how much the Capitol knew about her soulmark, she had always tried to keep it covered after what had happened to her family after her games but those damn Capitol stylists had seen just about every inch of her body throughout the years. Snow never really cared about the soulmarks though, unless a person had met their soulmate they were just decoration. Soulmarks were only lauded by the people in the Capitol who could afford to search theirs out. As long as they were from the Capitol or one of the nearer Districts at any rate, the Capitol residents never cared to search past One or Two for their soulmark, clearly love wasn’t the all-conquering hero they made it out to be.


	2. Chapter 2

Johanna couldn’t remember walking to the train with the tributes and Blight, she quickly glanced around for any peacekeepers who might be waiting to grab her. Although what they would do with her she didn’t know, prevent her from meeting the girl? Fate had pretty much taken care of that issue when her sister was reaped. Not that she had ever searched for her soulmark, even though she was one of the few from the Districts who had the opportunity to, the victors had less restrictions on travel and had the income to make it happen. But it just seemed like another tool for the Capitol to use against her, maybe that’s what this was now, but then this controlling tactic had a short shelf life if that’s what it was. Johanna took a deep breath as she sat down, the thought that she was heading to the Capitol where Katniss would be warmed her, and she wished it didn’t. She wished she felt nothing towards the girl from Twelve who she hadn’t even met and who would surely die in the bloodbath of the Games.

 

Willow and Rowan were stuffing their faces with the feast laid out for them on the train. Blight was recommending dishes to them, giving them lists to try once they hit the Capitol, she didn’t know why he bothered it didn’t pay to get too close to these kids, she had made that mistake before. It didn’t benefit her to make friends with tributes that would only die after a few days.

  
“Jo, you wanna say anything to the kids?” Blight raised an eyebrow at her, okay, yes she had been quieter than her usual taciturn herself but what was she supposed to say to these kids? Try to pretend they’d survive the Games? Pretend she would fight for them when she knew her loyalties were already divided and she hadn’t even met the girl.

“Right. Well. Either of you ever kill anyone?” Blight shook his head in exasperation at her opening gambit. Birch had wide eyes and was shaking his head nervously; the little mouse in his pocket was looking more alert than its owner, as it eagerly ate some rich Capitol pastry.

“There was this really mean skunk once, it was like a bear, with stripes, only smaller, and skunk shaped. Anyway dad asked me to trap it, and I mean, I definitely could have trapped it, but I thought it was more, like, you know within the skunk’s rights to go about its skunky business? You know, who said we should be the ones to kill poor defenceless animals that are just obeying their instincts?” The rest of the table stared at the redhead in shock.

“Do you think that sort of behaviour will work in the Games? Maybe you can nurse a bird back to health and they’ll let you out the arena on good behaviour?” Johanna snarked

“Well… Do you think they would?” The redhead asked

“No.”

“Oh. I mean, I did make the trap for the skunk. It was a good trap too, it-”

“Crazy skunk wrangling skills aside do any of you have any skills that would actually be useful? I assume you both use axes?” This was met with hesitant nods from them both.

“Oh Jesus, tell me you’re not both completely green here?” Cedar avoided eye contact by pushing more food into his pocket for the mouse in there, Willow looked like she was going to start on another story about some other animal she could have killed, or caught, or whatever when Johanna cut her off. “Just forget it; we’ll work something out when we get into the Capitol.” She looked at their faces and sighed, “may as well enjoy the food while you’re here, fill your pockets Elm, that mouse will enjoy the trip at any rate.”

“Ash, my name’s Ash.”

“Don’t take it to heart kid, Johanna’s always been socially inept.” Johanna met Blight’s glare as she turned and slammed the door to a sleeping compartment shut and heard him trying to console the tributes. Johanna yelled and threw a pillow at the wall, annoyed at the lack of heavy or fragile objects in the room, and at herself for getting frustrated.

 

The Games haven’t even started and you’re already on edge, just stop, stop thinking about her. Johanna slumped down on the bed and attempted to remove the tribute from Twelve from behind her eyelids.

“Hey Jo Jo, we’re here!” Blight’s too cheery face was hit with a pillow as he opened the door to her compartment

“I told you not to call me that.” Johanna grumbled as she pushed past him and followed everyone else from the train. Jingles rushed off straight away to see some Capitol friends she hadn’t seen in ‘just forever’, Johanna pushed at her mentees to get them moving. “I know. Awe inspiring aint it.” She said darkly as she manoeuvred them along to the building they would be staying in. “Such a shame they only invite us here on pain of death.”

 

Their digs this year were the same as ever, it might even be the same building it was impossible for Johanna to tell. She went into the room she had been given to turn off the projection of the forest they always put on in her and Blight’s rooms. The Avox probably meant well, giving her a taste of home, but she didn’t want to relax here. She might have better odds than her mentees of returning to Seven but she didn’t want to let her guard down here, and she hated the thought of the Capitol having a hold on anything she loved, no matter how false the projection was. Once again her thoughts returned to Katniss, it was possible her soulmark wasn’t this Katniss… she’d never heard the name before but who knew what weird things the other Districts named their kids? She didn’t even have to see her; the Capitol usually went to great lengths to keep the tributes from different Districts separate. Johanna sighed and went to find Jingles to ask which other Districts were housed in this building.

“What’s wrong with you Jo?” Blight sat down next to her interrupting her daydreaming

“What, is my sunny disposition at being back in the Capitol with new children for the slaughter unnerving you?”

“You know what I mean, none of us are ever glad to be back here. Well, Jingles is but the rest of us know what this is. You do too, and usually you’re better at playing the game but this time you’re… distant. And hostile.” Johanna raised an eyebrow at that, “Okay, more hostile than usual. You know what I mean, Snow’s throwing a party, all the victors are expected to attend, you better rein this in when you’re around him. I know you like to pretend you don’t care. And maybe you don’t, but you’re not the only one here Johanna, think about those kids we promised to bring home. Think about the people back home you care about.”

“Okay, first off I never made any promises to those kids, and if you did you’re more of an idiot than I thought. And it’s not like I have anyone left back home. Everything I had the Capitol have already taken from me. Or they will.”

“Well that’s why we have to play the game Jo, to stop them from taking these kids from us!” Johanna laughed bitterly

“I’m not talking about them.” Johanna muttered half to herself, “Blight, just leave it, you know better than to bet against the Capitol.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, is it annoying how Johanna keeps getting Ash’s name wrong? And yes, I have stolen the tributes from Seven from other franchises. Because they were unnamed in the books and I thought it would be funny. Or upsetting I guess, depending on which we’re talking about and whether you’re over the thing. You know the thing.


	3. Chapter 3

Johanna hadn’t paid much attention to her tributes while two of the many interchangeable stylists of the Capitol had been dressing them in some tree-themed joke of an outfit, she tried to avoid as much of the fanfare the Capitol put around the Games as she could. So while Blight, and most of the Capitol were in the audience waiting to see the parade of tributes, she had found herself in one of the many bars in the Capitol trying her best to kill off her liver in the shortest time possible. Yet still she found her eyes shifting to the projection screen every building in the Capitol seemed to have at least one of, Johanna called for another drink and ground her teeth when she found herself counting the number of tributes who were still left to enter the parade. She couldn’t escape it, couldn’t escape _her _.__ Johanna downed her drink and threw some money on the bar, she didn’t need this, she was only intrigued, that was all. It was the first time she’d heard someone else with the same name as her soulmark, it was natural to be interested. But that’s all it was, all it would be. This Katniss wasn’t hers; there was nothing between them except Johanna’s own curiosity.

 

Just as Johanna got up to leave the last tributes entered the parade, Johanna’s eyes were drawn involuntarily back to the screen and she saw a glimpse of the girl from Twelve. The camera wasn’t focused on the tributes from Twelve, they rarely went into detail on the tributes from the non-career districts, plus Twelve was coal, the stylists had about as much to work with as the ones for Seven Johanna thought irritated. Just then the outfits the tributes from Twelve were wearing flared red and flames broke out over the black material, the camera zoomed in instantly and Johanna’s breath caught as she saw Katniss’s face, tried to decipher the look in her eyes. Then the boy and Katniss held up their clasped hands and Johanna felt her stomach lurch, she hurriedly pushed away from the bar and tried to make herself believe that her stomach was just rebelling against the alcohol she had drank. Johanna shook her head outside the bar, trying to clear her thoughts as she considered where to go next. She knew Blight would most likely be back at their living quarters; he would either mother her or sober her up if he saw her in this state this early on in the Games. Neither of which appealed to Johanna, but she didn’t want to be alone with her own head right now. She decided to find out which party the Mentors were going to this year and revisit some old friends, well, friends might be too strong a word for how Johanna saw most of the previous Victors, besides maybe she could try to get a little inside information on Katniss… for her own mentees sake, if you were going into the Arena you needed to be as prepared as possible on what you might face after all.

 

The party was everything Johanna expected, which meant she’d have to work at not punching some handsy Capitol snob and try and find a corner to get drunk in peace in. And Blight said she didn’t play the game. Johanna did a quick sweep of the party not even bothering to pretend to herself she wasn’t looking for someone in particular.

“Haymitch!” Johanna enthused

“Johanna.” Haymitch looked at her over the rim of his glass, “rather excited to see me aren’t you? What, they not giving you the good booze?”

“Hah, no. It’s just been a while is all. Where are they holding you? You’re not in our building this time, usually they keep us outlying Districts together.”

“Wouldn’t really call Seven outlying now.”

“Come on, anything after Three is the dregs to the Capitol. Our Districts never have a chance.” Johanna eyed Haymitch as he took another slug of his drink. “Unless you do?”

“Why, Johanna Mason, are you trying to get insider information from me?” Haymitch quipped and Johanna resisted the urge to punch him in his smirking face

“No, of course not. I just wondered if you thought either of your tributes stood a chance this year.” Haymitch gestured for another drink and took his time sipping and swirling the dash the bartender had offered, the bartender waiting patiently beside them to fill his glass up. “Oh for fucks sake! Just take the drink, it’s not like you’re not out there drinking rotgut in Twelve!”

“My, aren’t we frisky.” Haymitch drank from his glass narrowing his eyes at Johanna, “Answer my question first Johanna; why are you suddenly so interested in the odds my tributes have?”

“I’m not, God! Just making conversation. You better watch it Haymitch, you’re getting as paranoid as Cresta.”

 

Johanna snuck off to find a dark corner, cursing herself for not being more restrained with Haymitch; of course he wouldn’t just volunteer information on his tributes. He seemed slightly more coherent than usual for too, usually he showed up already drunk to these things and the escort for Twelve had to work on keeping him from making a fool of himself. It might not all be lost though, she could always wait until he was wasted and then try her luck again. And then what though? He won’t tell her anything about Katniss and she could find out where the Twelves were staying from some other Capitol dolt, they were always eager to talk to a victor. Johanna eyed the crowd with the same intensity she had used to evaluate the other tributes in her games and slunk towards a man she remembered arguing with over her accommodation during last year’s Games.

“Hey,” Johanna purred in the man’s ear, pressing her body up against him, edging him away from the servers he was monopolising and into the edge of the crowd. Hey there was no need to try for subtlety once the tree had already been felled she reasoned to herself.

“Ugh, J-Johanna!” he spluttered, nearly choking on his drink. Johanna ignored the piles of food he let fall from his plate at his shock at seeing her and angled her body so they would be blocked from the rest of the party.

“I saw you over here all alone and thought I’d come keep you company.” Johanna took the drink the man was holding, she wished she could remember his name, never mind, it wasn’t hard to get the people from the Capitol to talk about themselves and that was exactly what she was counting on.

“I’m, um, hello, you’re so, I mean, this is unexpected.” Johanna bared her teeth at him, knowing most from the Capitol would assume it was a smile.

“Is it? After you helped me out last year with that little incident?”

“I err, I wasn’t sure if you would remember me,” he laughed nervously, “I don’t know if the accommodation regulators would class what happened as an incident though, there’s still talk of the axe marks in the ceiling.” Johanna shrugged

“What can I say, I like to keep sharp.”

“Huh, ah, yes. I suppose it wasn’t that unusual. Just odd given that you were across the street at the time.”

“I like to keep my skills up to scratch.” Johanna held the man’s gaze as she slowly swept her hand down his arm, causing his eyes to bulge and him to turn bright red,

“I-I… y-yes, we, I-” Johanna cut him off before he hurt himself trying to articulate whatever it was he couldn’t get out

“So anyone from the Districts giving you trouble this year?”

“Well, I-I’m not really… involved with that side anymore.”

“Oh?” Johanna immediately moved away from the man, cursing internally at him wasting her time,

“No,” he puffed up his chest, “I was promoted after our… amicable resolution over… what happened last year.” Johanna rolled her eyes at that, there was nothing amicable about what happened last year and it was only resolved because she couldn’t be bothered to clean his blood from her axe. “I’m now deputy head of accommodation locale appraisal.” Johanna stared at him blankly

“And… that means what exactly?”

“… I um, decide where to put the tributes coming in to the Capitol for the Games. It’s actually quite difficult, you see there are multiple factors to take into-”

“That’s really great.” Johanna interrupted him again, “really, really great. I’m so glad things are going well for you.” She moved back towards him with a predatory smile and he inched up flustered,

“Ah, well, yes. It is quite… fulfilling.”

“I’ll bet,” Johanna started to play with the outlandish lapels on the man’s outfit, and raised her eyes to him again, seeing him swallow nervously “I’ll bet it’s quite difficult to find the perfect place for everyone from the Districts. Especially for the ones on the fringes of Panem, furthest away from everything the Capitol brings.”

“They do produce the most challenges,” he gulped audibly, tracking the motion of Johanna’s hand on his chest, “it’s a tricky balance integrating them into the wonders the Capitol can offer and yet making sure they feel at home. You must know how it is, how did you like the forest scenes?” He asked brightly, Johanna focused on keeping her hand steady and appearing unthreatening to him

“Oh, just great.” She gritted out,

“Seven of course is easier than some, the forest is such a large part of the District and the trees are so… soothing.”

“Hm.” Johanna ground out

“Twelve is actually quite similar. I mean, there’s the coal obviously, but is that aesthetically pleasing? As a matter of fact, it’s surrounded by quite a lush forest itself.”

“Really? It’s not just barren wasteland beyond the Capitol? Shocking.”

“Hah, yes I know.” Johanna kicked herself for letting her natural sarcasm take over and potentially ruin her finding out where Katniss was staying. “But sometimes beauty can be found in even the most… uncivilised of places.” The man looked over to Johanna as he said this; she had to get this conversation back on track before she brained this jackass for calling Seven uncivilised. Which… yeah wouldn’t help her with her point but hey, no one ever accused her of subtlety.

“So, you were saying you used forest for Twelve’s living space?”

“Yes, the motifs are really quite similar to Seven-”

“There isn’t really any greenery in the Capitol though, housing both Seven and Twelve must be tricky.”

“Well, I mean yes I suppose it is, but thanks to the projectors we can cast an illusion of foliage that is practically indistinguishable from the real thing.” Johanna levelled a gaze at him, he looked back with bright enthusiasm, he really believed what he was spouting. Johanna flexed her fingers agitatedly, this was going nowhere, how did Finnick manage to get secrets out of anybody?

“So look, I’d be interested in seeing how Twelve’s accommodation matches up to mine, any chance of that happening?” He blinked confusedly at her

“But, they’re the same as yours.” Johanna forgot the pretence she was supposed to be keeping up and frowned at him

“How’s that?”

“Well, one forest is the same as another isn’t it? We actually just physically connected the networks on the projectors in your building to the building across the street so both would run the same projections.” Johanna stopped listening once she realised the girl she had been looking for was living across from her building all this time. She snagged a drink from a tray floating near her and nodded empathetically along with whatever the idiot was talking about now until she managed to make the fluorescent pink liquid wash over the side of the glass and on to his shirt. He leapt back and started frantically brushing at his shirt

“Oh wow, sorry about that. I’ll go find someone to help.” Johanna said before rushing off, leaving the man to come to terms with the fate of his shirt.

 

Now she knew where Katniss was. All that remained was to decide what she was going to do with that information.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> forgive me for Johanna’s attempt at flirting, I would totally be the guy Johanna’s attempting to flirt at in that situation, unable to form a coherent sentence and wondering what is going on so I don’t think I really got past that block.


	4. Chapter 4

Johanna had resolutely avoided thinking about where Katniss was for the last few days, unless you counted the time when she was awake, when it was all she could think about. Now she knew Katniss was just across the street from her, within axe throwing distance for Panem’s sake! But what should she do with that information? And why even bother trying to see the girl anyway? If she was her soulbond then she’d lose her before the Games finished. No point in getting to know her.

 

Johanna had tried to take her mind off the girl from Twelve by teaching the tributes from Seven skills to keep them alive during the Games. So far this had manifested itself in Johanna sneaking into their bedrooms at night and leaping on them yelling helpful gems like “Get out of this headlock, no, not like that, come on, try _harder _.”__ and “Constant vigilance!” Which so far had only succeeded in making her mentees nervous wrecks around their living space.

“Jo, are you actually going to help these kids with anything useful?” Blight asked her after a lesson in axe throwing had turned particularly terrifying for the tributes as they ducked behind furniture as Johanna threw axes at them.

“What are you talking about? Look at them; they’re always alert, checking where people are and being aware of their surroundings.” Johanna gestured at Willow, who when she noticed Johanna was watching her anxiously dropped to the floor and crawled from the room. Johanna smiled at the sight, which she was sure proved she had been doing a fantastic job at teaching the kids to survive the games.

“If by that you mean they’re constantly on edge, making sure they know where you are and that you’re not holding anything sharp -or flammable. Then I agree.” Blight sighed at her disgruntled face “Look Jo, you’re taking this… further than you usually do. And that’s great. But how is them being scared of you here going to help them in the Arena?”

“So you’re saying I should scare them in different settings. Good to know I have your approval Blight, there’s always Capitol events I could take them to and start a fire.”

“No! No, for Panem’s sake Jo, these kids aren’t the strongest fighters as it is, you need to build them up before you start the scare tactics.”

“Well, I told Juniper he was adequate with the axes. I don’t know what more you want, he could barely hold it properly.”

“Maybe get them to practice with other weapons, axes aren’t for everyone, we’d both been using them ever since we could hold them in Seven, maybe these kids haven’t. Maybe they have other skills they can use that you’re just ignoring. Hell, maybe Willow’s tale about trapping skunks could help her in the Arena! I don’t know. I am trying to help them, but it’s your job too. And you’re lead on this one. You need to shape up Jo, I don’t know where your head’s been lately, but it’s not been here.” Blight looked at her with genuine concern and Johanna groaned, sometimes she wished Blight didn’t care about her or what she did, but he had covered for her enough in the Capitol to try to assuage his worries about her.

“Actually, there’s a training session for the tributes tomorrow that I was going to observe. You know, give them a few pointers, that sort of thing.” Johanna offhandedly said, trying to prevent the predicted shock from Blight at her going to something in the Capitol she wasn’t forced to attend.

“Really? Well, that’s great Jo, really I think you’re doing the right thing.” Blight patted her on the shoulder and Johanna grimaced, how Blight had managed to stay caring in this world, in coming to the Capitol for years before her, she’d never know.

 

The next day Johanna alarmed her tributes but for different reasons, they awoke to her sitting at the table with two cups of hot chocolate ready for them and the Avox had prepared a large breakfast for them. The two tributes eyed each other uneasily as they slowly approached the food.

“Come on, drink up.” Johanna pushed the two mugs at each other, “’Vox here has prepared enough food to feed an army. And we’re going to go to that training session today and you two are going to kick some ass.” The two tributes apprehensively reached for the food in front of them, still eyeing her uneasily. “Oh for Panem’s sake it’s not poisoned!” She reached for Willow’s mug and downed half the contents, burning her tongue in the process, “Eat up we don’t have all day.” Johanna quickly stood and stalked off to wait in her sleeping quarters, leaving the tributes to eat their breakfast in relative confidence it wasn’t another trick from Johanna to get them prepared for the Games.

 

Eventually a tentative knock on her door revealed the two tributes nervously waiting for her to join them, Johanna jumped up from the bed and shook her head at the mouse sitting on the boy’s shoulder, it would be interesting to see what the other tributes thought of that. Well, maybe they could use it for the girl to practice her trap making skills with. The building the training room was in wasn’t far from where they were staying, but Johanna still had a job getting her tributes to follow her instead of gawking at the sights of the Capitol.

“Look if you’re good and fatally injure someone in the training room I’ll get Jingles to give you a tour, okay? Now come on. This place isn’t that interesting.” Just then a woman walked by, with hair shockingly purple and all manner of artificial feathers and flowers intricately braided into it, so long five Avoxes were trailing after her carrying it so it didn’t touch the floor. “Okay, that was a bad time to say that.” Johanna conceded as the two tributes turned to look at her, “but we don’t want to be late, all the good murder implements will be gone.” The two followed her without any more prompting as she continued across the street and into the building housing the training rooms. Two peacekeepers flanked the door inside and another was at the lift that opened as they approached, Johanna eyed the buttons on the control panel warily, of course having signs in here would ruin the mysticism or whatever. She rolled her eyes and was startled when the peacekeeper leaned into the lift with them inside and hit the button for the 5th floor, Johanna eyed her speculatively but the peacekeeper kept a perfectly blank expression as she turned back around to her post.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who has left kudos on this! It means a lot that you guys are liking what I'm writing.  
> As I was writing this chapter it came out longer than I expected, so I thought I’d break it up for those of you who don’t like to read large amounts of text in one sitting. So double chapter (well, kind of).


	5. Chapter 5

As the elevator doors opened the two tributes stared nervously at the large open space the training session was being held in, it looked like most of the other tributes were already there, Johanna could easily spot the careers from districts One and Two leaning confidently against a wall watching three small kids struggle to lift the different swords down from a rack. At the far end there was a stage that had a few of the victors from previous Games and some of the people involved in the Games, some were watching the events in the training room intently but most were laughing and talking with each other.

 

“And welcome,” Johanna said stepping out of the lift, “to the glorious Capitol of Panem, where children practice murder for your entertainment. Willow, you can show us how to make traps. Unless you have any other ideas with that you want to start with?” she glanced at her two tributes who shook their heads mutely and quickly followed her, sticking close to her heels.

 

Johanna sighed, she would have to break them of this otherwise the other tributes would have them down as easy kills. Just as they entered the large room Johanna pulled up short, stopping suddenly and blocking the doorway. Damn. Johanna thought, as her eyes instantly zeroed in on Katniss. Damn, damn damn damndamn. Gods she was such an idiot, great way to take her mind off the girl from Twelve, go to where the girl from Twelve would definitely be. Well fucking done Johanna. Katniss was at one of the survival stations smiling at an old woman who had a bunch of leaves on a table in front of her, Johanna forced herself to start moving again but she couldn’t take her eyes from the younger girl and would have walked straight into a tribute attempting to throw knives at a target if it hadn’t been for Willow’s shouted warning. Johanna looked away from Katniss, fleetingly making eye contact with her as she turned to see what was causing the commotion, and scowled at the boy with the knives who quickly backed away. Johanna glared around the room once again making eye contact with Katniss who was looking at her with a strange expression on her face.

“Come on,” Johanna pushed her tributes in front of her “let’s get to the snare station and you can show us your skills with rope Red.”

“I didn’t just use rope, I find a wide variety of materials-”

“Whatever, just move.” Johanna hurried away from the eyes she could feel burning into her and cursed herself for making that Katniss’s first impression of her.

 

Well, her first impression in person anyway, she would have seen Johanna killing in her own games… and that was another reason she should just leave this as it was. What would an innocent girl from Twelve want with a murderer anyway? Katniss wasn’t like her, hell, Blight wasn’t like her and he had been through the Games too. The Games had a way of changing anyone who entered it, most people it changed from living to dead, but the victors had to deal with what they had done in the Arena. Had to equate the terrible things they had done to survive with the person they thought they were, you got some tributes who looked like they were going to have a good inning just freeze when they had the chance to make a killing blow, others faltered just that second too long and someone else killed them. No one good survived the Games, they all had blood on their hands, sure, they’d had to in order to survive but sometimes Johanna wished she hadn’t. Wished she had been more like the people who couldn’t find it within themselves to kill. Maybe then she’d be worthy of someone like Katniss. Of course then she’d be dead so it really wouldn’t help her out of her situation at all.

 

But that was another reason the Games were around, wasn’t it? Everyone knew victors had celebrity status, they had money and power, but the power was only borrowed. Snow owned them all, they did whatever he wanted them to do, to whoever he wanted them to, in order to keep their families safe. Or the ones like her and Haymitch, alone and broken, were more avoided than revered in their districts. Everyone knew what they had done, and who would want to get close to that? They were known throughout the districts and what were they really? The best of what the districts had to offer? Or just children who wanted to survive so much they would kill the people they grew up with. No one could idolise that. Johanna had had tributes who she knew didn’t have it in them to kill, and what could you do for them? If they wanted to survive you had to try and convince them it was best if they just fought through their ethics and afterwards chalked it down to a brief moral dispute. Maybe she should have told them to do what they could live with, but the trouble with that was you knew how that story would end. You didn’t just volunteer for death so someone else could live, not a stranger anyway. No one was that noble. Or that stupid.

 

Johanna was pulled back from her internal musings and growing feeling of dread when she realised Willow had been talking to her,

“What?”

“I just said, this here is probably the best knot for catching people, if you had a net you could tie that here and here, alongside this and it would capture them. What happens if someone’s captured but not killed?” Johanna eyed the redhead

“Are you asking if they’re out the Game?” Willow nodded “Nope. You know the rules; You come back with your shield or on it.”

“Do we get shields?” the boy asked confused.

 

Johanna rolled her eyes as Willow explained what she meant to him, their conversation faded into the background as her gaze was drawn yet again to the girl from Twelve. Katniss was moving around the room without the male tribute from her district for the most part, but Johanna didn’t miss the way she whispered something in his ear after he had made a fool of himself when he couldn’t climb the net and watched as he threw a large weight almost five feet. Johanna’s jaw clenched as she saw her with the blonde boy, watching him with admiration as he painted his arm. Johanna couldn’t help but watch Katniss closely after that, she told herself it was to make sure the boy from Twelve didn’t do anything, she had seen the way he looked at Katniss and as much as she hated it she knew it was similar to how she herself looked when she didn’t guard her features.

 

Johanna followed her tributes as they moved on from the plant matching station and loitered in the corner occasionally giving hints as they both tried to get a handle on the smaller edge weapons. Katniss didn’t seem to interact with anyone in the room, most tributes used this as a way of testing out potential allies as well as training their abilities in the Arena, but the girl from Twelve only seemed to talk to a small girl from Eleven and the boy from her own district. Johanna worried her lack of social skills would make her a target in the Arena if she didn’t have her own group of allies and considered talking to Haymitch about it. Or maybe she should just mention it to Katniss. Yeah, because dropping strategies into conversation with tributes from different districts was a completely normal thing to do and wouldn’t raise red flags with anyone at all. Johanna rolled her eyes at herself and once again found her eyes unerringly seeking out Katniss, she made a quick decision and kicked off from the wall she was leaning against.

“Right, don’t worry about the weapons for now, let’s go look at the survival skills stations. No use being fantastic with a sword if you freeze to death the first night.” Johanna eyed the fire starting station Katniss was currently at, the girl hadn’t gone near any of the weapons, choosing instead to stick to the often forgotten survival classes that were around the edge of the room. Johanna’s heart picked up, trying to beat out of her chest as she stood and went to walk over to Katniss, forgetting all about her tributes trailing behind her and focusing on the girl in front of her.

 

“So, Twelve, you’ve been at most of these skills stations now, anything worth it?” Katniss eyed Johanna levelly,

“You were in the Games, surely you’re the expert here?”

“I’m an expert at a lot of things Katniss,” Johanna winked lasciviously at the surprised girl, taking refuge in her old habits she used as armour, “but even I never painted my arm to beat anyone in the Games.” She finished scornfully.

“Painting?” Willow piped up, “I like to paint.” Katniss looked at her in surprise, as if she’d forgotten it wasn’t just her and Johanna at the fire station.

“It’s camouflage. Peeta is better at it than me though.” She told the redhead, “He’s good at a lot of these things really.” Katniss stated loyally, misinterpreting the scowl that passed across Johanna’s face.

“I’m Ash, I’d like to learn camouflage, would you show me?” Johanna groaned, great, another pubescent boy and Katniss, He grinned at Katniss like an idiot and Johanna was pleased to see Katniss either didn’t notice or chose to ignore his sudden infatuation.

“I think you two can manage the perilous trek to the camouflage station by yourselves.” Johanna nodded in the direction of the camouflage station,

“But-” Willow started before Johanna interrupted

“I think I’ll manage to find you two later.” Johanna said as she practically pushed the two away from her and Katniss. Her two tributes shared a confused look and scurried off.

 

Johanna snapped her gaze back to Katniss who looked uncomfortable at having Johanna’s focused attention.

“Aren’t you going to go with them?”

“Nah, don’t worry I’ll break things up if they get into a vicious finger painting fight.” Johanna stretched her arms over her head, noticing the way Katniss blushed and averted her eyes as the fabric across her chest was pulled tight. “Besides they need to stand on their own sooner or later.”

“I didn’t think you were this involved in the whole mentoring thing.”

“Oh?” Johanna asked with an arched eyebrow, “and how would you know what I’m like?”

“Well, Haymitch said-”

“Why Twelve, have you been asking about me?” Johanna grinned up at the taller girl

“No. We… it was about strategy.” Katniss finished with a defeated expression.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone about your obsession with me.” Johanna smirked at the outraged expression on Katniss’ face.

“What! You’re the one who’s been staring at me.”

“And you would know that… how again?”

“I saw you-”

“Oh, watching me were you, that doesn’t help your ‘not obsessed with me’ defence.”

“I was only- because I saw- knew- you were looking at me,” Katniss spluttered, her anger making it difficult to get her words out in the face of Johanna’s smirk. “Oh. Shut up.” Katniss ignored her and bent down to coax the different materials laying around into a fire. Johanna wasn’t sure how long they had been silent, she could see Katniss’s determination not to break first, or look at her, as she studied the annoyed expression on the younger girl as she tried to create a spark in the dry tinder.

“I’m Johanna by the way.” Johanna abruptly broke the silence and studied Katniss hoping for a hint of recognition or… something from Katniss at her name.

“I know.” Katniss said shortly, barely pausing in her ministrations.

“Oh do you, and what else do you know?” Johanna dropped to a crouch on the floor, balanced on the balls of her feet Katniss had to look up at her from her own kneeling position and she could see a slight blush forming on the younger girl’s cheeks.

“I know we’re not supposed to be talking.” Katniss said uncomfortable in the weight of Johanna’s gaze slowly tracking over her body. Johanna barely registered the sound of the brunette’s voice as she scanned Katniss’s body for her own name, or at least that’s part of what she’s doing as her eyes traced the length of the younger girl’s lean body. Johanna’s lips curve into a slow, predatory smile,

“Oh Katniss,” Johanna purred, “don’t tell me you play by the rules all of the time?” The younger girl blanched at that and tried to back up, still keeping her eyes fixed intently on Johanna’s own as Johanna stood up and sauntered away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm. Yeah. I don’t know. If you’re just now realising that this fic will have very little Joniss interaction since Johanna wasn’t in the Hunger Games, you sir, are correct. And apparently you’re also like me who it takes… about 6000 words to realise that. But since I’ve been writing it I think I’m the one with more issues here. A CF continuation might be in order.


	6. Chapter 6

Johanna tried to avoid staring at Katniss from the observation room; she didn’t want to give any of the other victors any more reason to think there was something going on with her and Katniss. Never mind that the whole interaction with a tribute not from her district was not only completely out of character for Johanna, who usually barely interacted with her own tributes, but would also cause for suspicion if anyone had been seen doing it. So Johanna concentrated on watching her tributes and avoided the suspicious stares and gossip from the other victors and Capitol folk. The session was winding down now, the careers had already left and the rest of the tributes were trailing out with their mentors they would just have the assessment of their skills to look forward to next, the score that would rank them all from deadliest to weakest and would undoubtedly affect how the other tributes would treat them in the Arena.

 

Johanna wished she had seen Katniss do something other than practice at the survival skill stations or talk to tributes that had less chance at surviving the Games than she had. Chaperoning her tributes to this training session had turned out to be an emotional minefield for Johanna, she no longer pretended that there was a chance this Katniss wasn’t the one who matched her soulmark, there was no way there would be someone else out there who could evoke these feelings in her without actively doing anything. But she was destined to lose her as soon as she found her. All for the amusement for some privileged Capitol to gawk over, they called it the Games but only the citizens in the Capitol who would never have to face a reaping could ever come close to thinking of it as entertainment.

 

Johanna sighed and looked back at her tributes still in the training room. Oak had done okay, he had managed to throw an axe straight enough -and Blight had said their training sessions hadn’t helped. She had seen the careers watching him with interest, although whether that would turn out to be good or bad remained to be seen. Willow however had systematically failed to use any weapon even remotely effectively, Johanna sighed and went over to help the girl who had just knocked over a stand of different tridents.

“I don’t think weapons are my thing.” Willow said as she struggled to put a trident back in its hold, Johanna took it from her and slammed it home,

“Don’t worry, this plays right into our plan.”

“Me being useless plays into our plan?”

“Yep.”

“Well go me. It’s a good job it didn’t involve being good at anything isn’t it.” Willow sat down frustration clear on her face, “I am so s-c-r-e-w-e-d.”

“The Capitol are going to watch 23 children die in glorious technicolour, I don’t think they care if you swear Willow.” Johanna sat down with the redhead, stretching out on the floor like a cat and turned to face the girl.

“I just… I think it’s important to project someone you would want someone to like, you know? I’m not saying that someone wouldn’t like you! You’re great… you’re very… scary.” Johanna raises an eyebrow at that “Scary is good! People like Halloween! Although did you know that before the rebellion it was a holiday where children would dress as monsters and get candy?” Willow excitedly said

“How do you even know this stuff?”

“I read. There are a lot of books in Seven and I don’t think anyone has looked at what a lot of them are about. But I think the dressing up was a way for the current societal norms to lessen the power that the big bads that used to roam the earth when humans were scared and living in tiny villages used to wield. If you’re scared of something then making it ridiculous is a good way to lessen its power over you.”

“I suppose.” Johanna bit back a quip about keeping them in practical poverty and forcing them to kill each other for entertainment also seemed to work pretty well, she might be brash but she wasn’t stupid. “Where are these ‘big bads’ they used to dress up as now then?”

“Here of course.” Willow answered, “I mean, they’re not like, vampires or anything, obviously. But maybe the stories we used to tell were ways to explain away the evils of human nature that we didn’t want to think about, or think that humans were capable of.”

“So you want to be the kind of person who spells out swear words so no one thinks you’re capable of going dark?”

“I’m sure given the right circumstances anyone would go dark.”

“These Games not the right circumstances for you?”

“Do you think I could kill anybody?” Johanna stayed silent. “Yeah… that’s what I thought.” Willow gripped her arm sadly.

 

  
“That your soulmark?” Johanna asked then immediately regretted it, you didn’t strike up conversations with the Capitol’s victims, and you certainly didn’t ask to hear their sob stories that you would end up carrying around long after they were killed.

“Yeah,” Willow’s face lit up and Johanna groaned internally, this one was a talker for sure, “Her name’s Tara” Willow rolled up her sleeve and in delicate print there it was, her soulmark. “I’ve never met her, but I thought, hey, she’ll probably know who I am now right? But then, I’m probably going to die so maybe that’s not such a good thing… maybe I shouldn’t mention it in the interviews… what do you think?” Willow’s face turned to Johanna expectantly

“What?”

“Should I say who she is? So she knows? I mean would you want to know even if you would then know if your soulmark was going to die?” Johanna couldn’t believe this; it had to be a set up. But the girl’s earnest eyes held her own and all she wanted to do was scream.

“I really don’t care what you do,” Johanna got up to leave, “and if I was you I wouldn’t tell anyone else about this conversation.”

“So… you do care?”

“I just said I didn’t, are you trying to piss me off?!”

“W-well, you said you didn’t care, and then you gave me advice negating the previous statement. So I thought, I mean, a joke right?” Willow looked at the stricken Johanna confusion and worry mixed on her face, Johanna shook her head, no way had the Capitol sent this child to needle her, no one could keep this act up all the time. Johanna took a deep breath; this is why you shouldn’t talk to tributes she mentally berated herself, now she could either have an awkward and depressing conversation with a child sentenced to death, or be a dick and walk away leaving her with that sad expression on her face. Johanna sighed and sat back down next to the young girl.

“Look, Willow. I’m not going to tell you what you should do, and I don’t think I can make that decision for you anyway. You’ve got precious little control over your life as it is, the question of what to do about your soulbond is something you can keep for yourself. You’re going to have to think about what is best for the both of you, if you survive these games you can always tell everyone then, hell, you’d be a victor with all the money and benefits that brings, you can tour the Districts looking for her if you want.”

“But what about her? She’ll never know I’m dead. Do you think that’s right to do to someone?”

“Maybe she would be better off not knowing,” Johanna said darkly, “maybe being able to watch you, and know you’ll be dead soon, and she’ll never have the chance with you is torture for her.”

“Will be, you mean,” Willow interjected,

“Will be what?”

“I just meant… she doesn’t know now, so it would be, or will be… torture” Willow trailed off at the disbelieving expression on Johanna’s face, “Yeah, I know what you mean. And I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what?” Johanna asked tiredly, this was exactly what she had been trying to avoid when she brought the tributes to the training session. What was the point in not being able to stop thinking about Katniss when she ended up talking with Willow about all this anyway?

“Well, you haven’t found your soulbond, you probably looked right? Like you said I could after the Games? So you haven’t found them, or maybe you did but… anyway, I’m sorry you don’t have them. Johanna stared past Willow and at Katniss who seemed to have developed a preternatural ability to know when Johanna was staring at her as she swiftly raised her eyes and met Johanna’s as she left the room with Haymitch and Peeta. Johanna sighed and stood up calling her tributes over as they all listlessly left the training centre.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And yet more angst... slight Katniss interaction is planned for the next chapter, and then I'll put in a longer one before the Games start.  
> Once again, thanks to all you folk who are reading, I hope you like it (even though Katniss is absent)


	7. Chapter 7

Johanna screamed at Blight for the fifth time that day and stormed off into her bedroom slamming the door. She couldn’t remember why she had argued with him this time; he probably had been breathing too heavily or something. She knew she’d been bad company ever since she got back from the training centre yesterday. She had been elated at first, just _seeing_ Katniss, _talking_ to her, it had made Johanna feel something she hadn’t felt in years. Hope. The hope that she wouldn’t have to be alone anymore, that she could have something to live for now, not just survive out of pure bloody mindedness. But as she made her way back to her building what it meant to have her soulbond in the Games began to sink back on her again. Before she had hidden behind the possibility that it wasn’t _this_ Katniss who her mark meant. That the girl she was always searching for in shared rooms didn’t have Johanna’s name somewhere on her body… and maybe that was true, Johanna hadn’t seen it anywhere even though she’d looked. But now it was already too late, because Johanna wanted it to be this Katniss. And that meant she’d done something she promised never to do again; she’d given the Capitol ammunition to hurt her.

 

Maybe she should go see Haymitch, yeah, nothing unusual about that, the victors should stick together when in the Capitol right? And she knew where everyone from Twelve were staying so it wouldn’t be that strange to find herself accidentally in the area and invite herself in for a cup of… well knowing Haymitch it would probably be some horrendous alcoholic concoction but that would be fine with Johanna. And there was this party the tributes were recommended to go to… would Haymitch be taking Katniss along? The girl didn’t seem to be able to get along with people very easily, just like Johanna herself, the party was for making connections maybe Haymitch didn’t think it would be in Katniss’s best interests to go… so Johanna should go see Haymitch. Maybe ask his advice on whether she should take her little ducklings to the party. Maybe ask if he’s going. If she’s going, her brain traitorously supplied.

 

Johanna hurriedly pulled on her boots and grabbed one of her smaller axes, just to be on the safe side, you could never be too sure in the Capitol after all. Or too sure of what level of drunk Haymitch was for that matter, and yelled to Blight she would be back later, rushing out before she heard his reply to the building across the street. The building the tributes and mentors from Twelve were housed in was practically indistinguishable from her own, as Johanna walked towards the lift she caught a sudden interested look from one of the faces of the usually stoic peacekeepers, she turned to get a better look at them once in the lift but only saw black hair and a face that looked vaguely familiar before the doors closed and she was being rushed up to the living area for district Twelve. During the short ride Johanna had the first chance to reflect on her impulsive decision to come over, and as the doors opened to reveal a shocked Haymitch she realised this might not have been the best of plans.

“Johanna! What an… unexpected surprise.” Haymitch drawled, his gaze flicked to her hip and back up to meet her narrowing eyes. Haymitch hadn’t ever seen her soulmark had he? Although… it wasn’t like Johanna was shy about her body. It wouldn’t take a genius to realise the one spot she always tried to make sure was covered was where her soulmark was.

“Well Haymitch, I just thought it had been too long. We’ve barely seen you this quell, have you even been at the Victors’ bar?”

“I’ve been cutting down.” Haymitch said dryly. Johanna moved out from the lift and sauntered closer to him taking a grip on the glass in his hand and sniffing.

“Not cutting down completely though right?” Johanna grinned up at him.

“Well this is the Capitol after all,” Haymitch spread his arms “home of extravagance. If you can’t indulge yourself here where can you?” Haymitch raised his eyebrows at her and nodded past Johanna.

 

Johanna turned and caught a glimpse of Katniss making her breath hitch, how can she affect me like this? She dragged her eyes back to Haymitch who had a shiteating grin on his face only to find herself staring again a few seconds later, this time her eyes met the stormy grey gaze of Katniss. Johanna managed to quell the sudden urge to go to the girl and merely raised an eyebrow causing Katniss to scowl and pointedly look away from her. Johanna smirked, no matter what she had said in the training session Katniss did stare, there was something there, and she planned on making sure Katniss knew about it. Exactly how much of what was between them Johanna would share she wasn’t sure. If Katniss did have her name as her soulmark it would explain why the younger girl was also staring at Johanna, she was sure this attraction wasn’t one sided.

 

Johanna moved her attention back to Haymitch who had moved to the sofa and was watching the two with a knowing grin, Johanna scowled and sat down heavily next to Haymitch making him spill his drink.

“Any particular reason you decided to grace us with your presence Jo?”

“Like I said, I missed you.” Johanna deadpanned leaning back on the cushions and cocking an eyebrow at Haymitch who guffawed at the thought.

“I’m sure you’ve missed something… doubt it was me though.” Johanna’s eyes flicked to Katniss who was still standing by the doorway to the roof access, watching Johanna with a wary expression. “Like I said,” Haymitch stood up and tipped his drink at Johanna, “you didn’t miss me.” And with that he walked off into another room shutting the door behind him. Katniss stared at his closed door for a few minutes then quickly snapped her eyes back to Johanna with wide eyes, Johanna felt her stomach somersault and she smiled at the younger girl who looked stunned to see it.

 

Johanna moved from the sofa and started towards the younger girl who backed up slightly until she hit the wall, making her realise what she had done, she glared at Johanna who stopped close to her, rocking back on her heels, with a faint smile still on her face.

“So… look, I know we didn’t exactly hit it off, and you have no reason to trust me considering I’m the mentor for a different district.”

“You got that right.” Katniss interrupts, glaring at the wall behind Johanna, probably wishing she wasn’t there, Johanna’s stomach flopped and she panicked as she tried to come up with a reason to explain to the girl why she was there, other than the obvious truth.

“But… that doesn’t mean we’re both not allies against the Capitol here. I mean, I don’t want to see anyone get hurt, least of all you.” Katniss raises her eyes to Johanna at that only to find for once the axe wielder was the one avoiding eye contact.

“Why ‘least of all’ me?”

“Katniss…” Johanna rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly and frowned “Can we… go somewhere?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea Johanna.” Katniss said looking at her levelly

“You don’t? Any reason why not?”

“You know why.”

“Well, that’s the thing about this isn’t it,” Johanna drawled, her old confidence coming back to her, “Everyone’s so secretive, no one really knows until both parties just come out and say it.”

“Johanna, please.” Katniss begged, the pained look in her eyes giving Johanna pause. “Just leave it. It doesn’t affect anything now anyway.” Johanna lent closer to Katniss and heard her breath stutter,

“This isn’t over you know.”

“No?” Katniss closed her eyes

“Nope.” Johanna leaned closer to the younger girl and moved a lock of her hair behind her ear, causing her eyes to snap back open and stare at Johanna. “You’re going to get through this. And when you do, I’m going to be there and you won’t get another rain check on this conversation.” Katniss’s breath came out in shorter and shorter gasps with her proximity to Johanna. Johanna moved to brush Katniss’s hair again but instead caressed the younger girls jaw with her fingers, Johanna leant up and pressed a short, tender kiss on Katniss’s lips, by the time Katniss opened her eyes Johanna had gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmm.. kind of unsure on this one. The next two chapters will have some more Joniss interaction, then the Games.


	8. Chapter 8

Johanna was loitering backstage of Caesar’s show pretending not to be paying attention, pretending to herself she wasn’t waiting for Katniss to make her appearance only to catch her breath when Katniss finally walked onto Caesar’s set, she was the most beautiful girl Johanna had ever seen. Her outfit in the parade had been amazing, as much as Johanna had tried not to look at her, the flames reflecting in her eyes and the striking makeup had made her seem like a vengeful Goddess. But this, this was something else. She had never seen her really dressed up during the training and dinners the tributes and their mentors attended, of course most Districts were kept separate before the games, they were all here to kill each other after all. But Johanna had sought the girl out, as much as she didn’t want to she felt drawn to her. Some tributes dressed up while they had the chance, using the typical Capitol flair for excess as an excuse to go nuts. But not Katniss, she had seemed most comfortable in simple practical clothes, much like Johanna herself, and she had looked good in them. But now, on Caesars couch she was breath-taking, a red fitted dress caught the lights in the studio and sent them glittering back to the audience and the cameras, the dress hugged her figure and Johanna’s mouth went dry as she couldn’t help but take in Katniss’ curves.

 

Johanna stopped herself staring at her soulmark’s body and focused on her face, missing what she had just said, it seemed like most of the microphones had missed it too as Caesar asked her to repeat herself. Johanna looked at her scared eyes and willed her to put on a show for them, to make them remember her. Johanna breathed a sigh of relief as she saw Katniss relaxing under Caesar’s questioning, elaborating more than the one word answers she was giving before. Then Caesar commented on her dress and she asked if he would like to see the flames and stood up to twirl for them. Johanna clenched her jaw at the sight, torn between her pull for this girl and the fear she was being taken away from her, and her fury at the crowd of people who were cooing at the sight of her blazing in front of them, she doesn’t need to twirl for them, Johanna growled, she was made to burn down the earth and split open the sky. She had already burnt Johanna’s world completely to the ground, there wasn’t much there to begin with but for the first time in a long time Johanna felt something more than apathy and cold hatred at the Capitol, Katniss was lighting her up but she didn’t know whether those flames would consume her.

 

Caesar moves to wrap up the interview asked Katniss about her sister, the girl she volunteered for, the girl she saved at a cost to her own life,

“What did you tell Prim?” Katniss’s eyes tear up as she looks at Caesar and the crowds of people all waiting for her response along with Johanna.

“I told her I’d try to win. I’d try to win for her.” Johanna felt those words tear into her, even though they weren’t meant for her, that she had never told Katniss who she was or how she felt.

 

Johanna wasn’t sure how much time she had stayed backstage, trying to calm her rapidly beating heart after what Katniss had said, and what she was scared would be the only outcome for her when she entered the Arena, but it must have been a while, since the boy from Twelve, Pitta or something, was already seated and well into his interview with Caesar when she heard him reveal he was in love with Katniss. Johanna’s head snapped up to look at the screen glaring in disgust at the boy claiming to love the one that was hers.

“Aww isn’t that the sweetest thing!” A fuzz of neon green hair and clothes said to her,

“Not really considering they’ll both die soon,” snarled Johanna at the now wide eyed Capitol techie

“I… I didn’t mean. It’s…”

“Shut up and go away. Now.” Johanna returned her attention to the screen after the green fuzz had fled, all pretence of not watching the interview vanished.

“I don’t have a soulmark, but from the minute I saw her I knew, I knew there was no one else that I could love more than her. She’s the only one for me.” Pitta, or whatever his name was, took a break from his speech to gaze earnestly down the camera lens. Johanna growled at the screen, fists clenching, if Pitta wanted to survive until his games he had better dial back his star crossed lovers spiel. Because that’s your hook isn’t it Johanna, her traitorous brain supplied. What happened to not needing a soulmate, or wanting to meet the girl?

“Is she your soulmark Peeta?” Caesar asked

“No-”

“Hah!” Johanna looked around making sure her outburst hadn’t attracted any attention and furtively glanced back at the screen “How are you going to convince us she’s yours without a soulmark bread boy?” she sniped, the painful pressure in her chest finally subsiding.

“It’s not just those who have been marked by love who are capable of love. Have you never loved someone other than the person whose name is written on your body? And the people who never find their soulmark? Are they never happy? I never had a name sear itself onto my skin when I hit puberty, I never had to, I know who my soulmate is. The soulmarks tell us we can’t choose who we fall in love with, but they try to guide us to our true match. People like me, who don’t have a guide, we have to trust our hearts, and I know in my heart that Katniss is the only girl I’ll ever love.”

“And does Katniss have a soulmark Peeta?” Caesar seemed to be buying this insane idea, much to Johanna’s disgust, gently questioning the boy about the girl neither of them had any right to talk about.

“I don’t know, it doesn’t matter to me, I love her and I know she’s my soulmate.” Johanna ground her teeth at that, glaring daggers at the tribute as he walked from the stage.

 

Johanna was barely aware of what she was doing as she found herself rushing to catch up with the boy from Twelve before he left the studio, Johanna sped through the huge cavernous building that housed Caesar’s talk show and all the electronics and dozens of dressing rooms and make up areas the Capitol thought they needed for their biggest entertainment spectacle, pushing past avoxes and Capitol citizens working on the programme. Just as Johanna neared him the blonde tribute turned, making eye contact with her, his face paling at whatever he saw in her eyes. Before Johanna had a chance to find out exactly what it was she had planned to say-or do to the boy from Twelve Effie, his escort, burst into view in a violent array of colour, loudly concerned with taking the boy back to their living quarters. As Effie started herding the boy towards the exit the doors burst open, bringing a furious Katniss swiftly followed by Haymitch into the room.

“What was that!?” Katniss yelled at the boy, pushing him backwards

“Now Katniss,” Effie chirped, “Let’s not fight.”

“He made me look weak!” Katniss continued to try and push the boy who was attempting to hide behind Effie.

 

Johanna stood mesmerised by the sight in front of her, she had never seen Katniss so animated, before during their interactions she knew she had aggravated the girl but she always seemed to be holding something back, keeping her feelings in check, but now she was unrestrained and glorious in her fury. Johanna couldn’t help but feel satisfied that the boy who had tried to take Katniss away from her was the one her ire was focused on. Effie was still trying to calm the situation, or at least to get Katniss to rein in her temper until they weren’t surrounded by Capitol citizens who had easy access to cameras.

 

“He made you look desirable.” Haymitch interrupted a still chattering Effie, “And let’s face it, you need all the help you can get in that department.”

 

Johanna felt her stomach lurch at that and made eye contact with Katniss, whose look of anger quickly morphed into confusion and something pained as she met Johanna’s gaze. Haymitch eventually noticed Johanna was standing near them, glancing at her he hurriedly pulled Katniss away, moving in between Johanna and his tributes as he squared up to the brunette from Seven. Effie finally became aware of the strained tension between the two victors and stopped talking, her sudden silence increasing the feeling of apprehension Johanna felt in the pit of her stomach.

“For Panem’s sake Johanna! What are you doing?” Haymitch yelled as he pushed Katniss into Effie’s waiting arms who along with Peeta then tried their best to get Katniss to move away from the two victors.

“Haymitch, I-” Johanna started, as she tried to push past Haymitch.

“You nothing! This is not about you! You know what these kids are up for, you know how hard it will be, do you want to mess with her head now? And for what? So you can feel better about yourself? This strategy might be the thing to save her in the Arena, are you prepared to mess that up?”

“So it’s a strategy?”

“Go home Johanna.” Haymitch glared at her tiredly. “Go home and think about what’s best for them right now. That is, if you’re even capable of thinking about someone other than yourself.” Johanna pulled back as if she had been struck and stared at Haymitch who returned her gaze steadily. Johanna turned away from what she thought to be pity in his eyes and looked past Haymitch to catch a last glimpse of stormy grey eyes looking back at her in shock as Katniss was finally manoeuvred out of her sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I may be putting these events out of order... I can’t really remember when the interviews happened in the book/film, but I thought it fit better here for this story anyway. Besides, since I’ve inserted Johanna into the first book I don’t think it matters if I move the events around.  
> 


	9. Chapter 9

Johanna had avoided the stylists sent to dress her and everyone from Seven, and to their credit they hadn’t actively been trying to track her down to contort her into whatever costume they deemed appropriate for tonight, they knew her well enough not to push her by now. After threatening to get her axe they had left a dress on her bed and went to work on Blight who was much more congenial, and the two tributes who had much less say than the two victors about what they would or wouldn’t be wearing to the party.

 

Johanna angrily pulled the fabric of the dress down and straightened the fall of the material, she eyed herself in the mirror and showed her teeth. It could be worse she mused to herself, the stylist had clearly decided to focus on the tributes clothes-Johanna had seen a few of the, well, they couldn’t really be called clothing since she had no idea how the material was supposed to fit together on her mentees bodies, but she knew they would end up looking ridiculously like a tree. Johanna’s costume unusually for the Capitol events, was quite simple, a dark green sheath clung to her body, with dark brown streaks highlighting her curves.

 

Maybe Johanna griping about looking like a tree every time he dressed her had finally sunk into his thick head, she grinned at the thought of finally winning against his idiotic dress sense and left her room to wait for the others to be finished. Luckily she didn’t have long to wait since the stylists and manicurists and make up people and whoever else the Capitol thought was necessary to make two children look like tiny tree models had started much earlier than Johanna and were just finishing up on the two tributes. Johanna stared at their expectant excited faces and at Blight who looked like he’d been rolling around in a pile of leaves and turned on her heel heading to the door.

  
“I’m leaving. You coming?”  
  
“Since when are you in such a hurry to go to a Capitol party?” Blight asked eyeing her warily.  
  
“Since I decided to play nice and embrace the Capitol life of course.” Johanna replied dryly.  
  
“Oh Johanna! We knew you’d come around sooner or later, we could still do your hair if you’d like, and nails- LeeLoo get over here!” Jingles joyously exclaimed.  
  
“I don’t think that’ll be necessary.” Blight interrupted, fearing bloodshed if any of the stylists tried to force Johanna into sitting for beauty treatments. “See what would have happened if I wasn’t here? Sarcasm is not your friend Johanna.”  
  
“Imbeciles who don’t understand sarcasm are not my friends actually. And for good reason.” The two tributes were ushered by Jingles over to Johanna and Blight at the door and they all left to enter the carriage taking them to President Snow’s party.  
  
“Easy Jo,” Blight said nervously as they climbed into the carriage.  
  
“What? Are you worried I’ll make a scene at the ridiculousness of the Capitol wanting to have their last chance to meet the children they picked to enter a psychotic gameshow where they can cry over what a tragedy it all is but still cheer when the Games begin? Or are you wondering if it’s just the fact that everyone’s travelled here by horse and cart? I don’t know why you’d think I’d have a problem with that Blight. Or these fluorescent horses they’ve… what, painted?”  
  
“Actually they’re a special breed. A new splice they cooked up, jellyfish I think. They glow in the dark.” The driver eagerly shared with the five occupants.  
  
“Oh, that’s something to look forward to then.” Johanna deadpanned.  
  
“Once again, sarcasm is not your friend Jo.” Blight intoned to the giggles of Willow.  
  
“Let’s just get this over with.” Johanna sighed and stared out the window unseeing until they finally reached Snow’s mansion.

 

Footmen, dressed in what Johanna assumed to be rat costumes, escorted Johanna and the tributes out of their carriage and motioned for them to walk along the snow white carpet leading to the entrance of the mansion. Once the door opened for them the two tributes were wide eyed at what they saw inside the large entrance hall, they had seen some of the luxuries and wealth the Capitol had to offer, but nothing compared to the extravagance of one of Snow’s pre-Games parties.

 

Hundreds of white roses lined the foyer, unfurling off into the other parts of the mansion the party was taking place in. Miniature versions of the fluorescent horses that brought them to the party were dressed in outfits similar to the wait staff, some of the tiny horses had trays with canapes strapped to their backs while others had large cushions, likely for those guests who got too drunk to walk themselves to the toilets. The waiters, Johanna noticed, had the job of either walking one of the horses slowly around the room or carrying trays of drinks; even the Capitol weren’t crazy enough to trust animals to carry their booze. Their group carried on walking through the foyer, Johanna grabbed a glass of an unidentified drink as she passed a waiter praying internally it was alcoholic, as they moved into the larger dining hall.

 

Johanna ignored most of the wastefulness the Capitol were shoving in her face and instead busied herself searching for the volunteer from Twelve,  
“Johanna!” Blight’s raised voice broke her concentration of attempting to glare a hole through the crowd in search of Katniss.  
  
“ _What?_ ” Johanna hissed at him, eyes still searching the crowd.  
  
“That’s the second high ranking Capitol citizen you’ve completely ignored tonight, you do realise this party is the best way we have of keeping our tributes alive right? Even if they do great in the Arena they’re still going to need sponsors to keep them alive, or give them an edge against the other tributes.” Johanna reluctantly turned to face Blight who was looking at her disapprovingly.  
  
“Where are the sacrifices anyway?” Johanna looked around noticing for the first time that she was without her usual shadows. Blight rolled his eyes and nodded at the far end of the room where an enormous table was laden down with huge piles of food and fountains spraying out different drinks that most of the guests were ignoring.  
  
“I told them to enjoy the buffet.”   
  
“Look, Blight, you know I’m no good at sucking up to these Capitol idiots. If anything I’ll probably end up pissing them off and making it less likely for them to help out our kids.”  
  
“Johanna.” Blight sighed exasperated, “Fine. I’ll socialise. You… do whatever it was you were doing that had you so occupied. But I want you to promise me that if anyone talks to you you won’t be outright belligerent.”  
  
“Alright Dad.” Johanna responded with a roll of her eyes.  
  
“You just keep your word, young lady.” Blight grinned at her as Johanna smirked and made her way into the crowd, searching for the brunette from Twelve.

 

There was a circle of Capitol citizens gathering around something in one of the smaller rooms, Johanna elbowed her way forward to see Katniss and Peeta dancing together. The Capitol guests were eating it up, Johanna eyed them with disgust, sure, moon over a teen romance but be fine with sending them off to be slaughtered. Johanna ground her teeth loudly enough to draw accusing stares from the Capitol guests nearby as she watched the baker boy hold Katniss in his arms. The song ended and Katniss pushed away from Peeta, flushing at the cheers and claps the surrounding crowd were producing. Johanna watched as Katniss dodged the Capitol invitations to talk or dance and escaped out of a door to the side that led to the gardens. After making sure Peeta had been delayed by accepting one of the numerous offers to dance he was receiving from the Capitol citizens she followed after Katniss, shutting the door behind her.

 

It took a minute for Johanna’s eyes to become accustomed to the relative darkness outside, there were strings of lights illuminating the building and the statues and fountains littered around the grounds but Katniss was hiding in the shadows under a perfectly pruned tree. Johanna swallowed nervously and quietly moved towards the girl, something she thought she had managed, but Katniss somehow heard her approach and her head snapped around. The eyes meeting Johanna’s became guarded and Johanna’s stomach clenched as she came to a stop, leaning against the tree Katniss was under.

 

“I see you’re still letting everyone else pick your strategy Brainless.”  
  
“I don’t know what you mean.” Katniss tried to get around Johanna and go back into the party but Johanna blocked her.  
  
“Hey, I get it, whatever you need to survive right.” Katniss meets Johanna’s cold empty eyes, “Just think about how it’s best for you to play it too. Haymitch and Effie might have all these seemingly wonderful ideas, but you’re the one who’s going into the Arena, not them.” Katniss tries again to move past Johanna but as Johanna moves to intercept her again Katniss backs off and settles back against the tree, leaving some space between the two of them.  
  
“They’re the ones who’ve done this before.” Katniss shrugged, “might as well let them help.” Katniss leans back against the tree, trying to project an air of calmness neither of the two felt.  
  
“Yeah, because Twelve have had so many success stories from the Games.” Katniss’ face sets and she glares at Johanna.  
  
“Why are you even talking to me? Or do you think you can throw me off so your tributes can kill me in the Arena?” Katniss kicks off from the tree and her stance is filled with a barely controlled energy, as if she was ready to either flee from or fight Johanna.  
  
“If you think that’s what I’m doing you really are brainless.” Johanna hisses, frustrated at the younger girl.  
  
“Stop calling me that!” Katniss’s eyes flashed angrily as she strode closer to Johanna.  
  
“You’re letting yourself become side-lined for some idiot’s star crossed love story. Hell, you even volunteered for this shit. That makes you pretty brainless.” Johanna yelled, gazing into Katniss’s stormy grey eyes as she struggled to keep her emotions in check; it was just because she knew about the soulmark that was all. They had barely said two words to each other, and she was going into the Arena the day after tomorrow. Ordinarily she wouldn’t look twice at this scrawny kid from Twelve. Yeah right, she shook her head in disgust; she didn’t even believe herself anymore.

 

Katniss stood close to Johanna, staring intently at the older girl, eyes awash with anger causing something to snap in Johanna and she swiftly advanced on Katniss, who stood her ground and narrowed her eyes. Johanna pushed Katniss back against the tree the younger girl let out a small gasp, her hands automatically clutching at Johanna. Johanna felt a rush of the longing she had tried so hard to ignore when she had Katniss close to her, she looked at the younger girl expecting to see more anger but was met instead by downcast eyes and a furrowed brow. Johanna framed the girl’s face with her hands and carefully brushed her fingers up Katniss’s neck and along her jaw, as Katniss raised her eyes to meet the elder girl’s Johanna was captivated by the unfathomable grey eyes and slowly drew in for a teasing brush of lips. But once she felt Katniss’s soft lips against her own she couldn’t control her hunger and passionately crushed her mouth to Katniss’s, sweeping her tongue along the younger girl’s bottom lip as Johanna’s hands swept down from Katniss’s neck to her hips, tugging her closer. Johanna was vaguely aware of hands fisting and tugging her hair as Katniss’s mouth opened and Johanna immediately deepened the kiss, her tongue seeking out Katniss’s.

 

After a time they both pulled away panting, trading small teasing kisses back and forth until Katniss rested her forehead against Johanna’s whose arms stayed securely wrapped around the younger girl’s waist, holding her up as she sagged against Johanna, Katniss’s hands moving from Johanna’s hair to rest on the older girl’s neck. They stayed pressed against each other, Johanna stared at Katniss trying to memorise her features while Katniss’s eyes stayed closed, her fingers tracing patterns on Johanna’s neck, making her shudder.  
  
“Johanna.” Katniss murmured, Johanna felt the exhale across the skin of her neck and shivered, clutching the younger girl closer to her.  
  
“Mm?” Johanna nuzzled further into Katniss’ neck, not wanting to let her go.

 

Johanna was so fixated on the feeling of Katniss in her arms, of committing everything about the girl from Twelve to memory, that she didn’t notice someone approach the tree they were under. As soon as the two noticed the peacekeeper Katniss leapt back from Johanna, her grey eyes wide. Johanna growled under her breath, annoyed at the interruption and tried to pull Katniss back to her but the young brunette threw off Johanna’s hand.

 

Johanna’s heart clenched as she tried to catch Katniss’s gaze but the younger girl resolutely avoided meeting her eyes, the peacekeeper looked between the two of them and Johanna braced herself for orders to follow them to an office, or for communications to the rest of the peacekeepers in the area. A hollow feeling settled in the pit of Johanna’s stomach as she realised what this would do to Katniss after she had been playing the ‘true love’ angle with that boy from her district, there’s no way this will be kept under wraps, no one kept secrets in the Capitol.

 

“Ahem, Victor Mason?” the peacekeeper interrupted Johanna’s thoughts, and Johanna tried to ready herself for what was about to happen. “The outside grounds are not open to the public during the party.”Johanna just blinked, confused at the peacekeeper. “Victor Mason? You and… you should both return to the mansion.”

 

The peacekeeper stared at Johanna, her face a blank mask but Johanna thought she saw a glimmer of understanding or sympathy in her eyes. Katniss avoided making eye contact with either Johanna or the peacekeeper, and as the peacekeeper turned to escort them back to the mansion Katniss took care to make sure she was as far away from Johanna as she could be while keeping pace with the peacekeeper.

 

As officer Sun led them back towards the mansion, Johanna felt her palms itch for her axe as she realised they weren’t going back the way she had come, instead taking a longer route to somewhere else in the grounds. Johanna sized up the peacekeeper quickly, the woman was about her size, Johanna knew she was strong, you didn’t cut down trees with your wits after all, but she carried herself with an easy confidence that suggested she was either arrogant or knew she could handle herself, neither possibilities were very good for Johanna, especially since the peacekeepers were all equipped with guns, something no one from the districts could ever dream of getting their hands on, at least not legally. And the prospect of what Snow would do to anyone found with one didn’t bear thinking about. As the peacekeeper led them both back to the walls of the mansion Johanna and Katniss walked behind her in strained silence, Johanna debated whether she should drag Katniss off somewhere and make a run for it, but run to where? And the peacekeeper would surely call for backup and she definitely knew who they were. How could she not? Even though Johanna tried to keep out of the eye of the Capitol she hadn’t won her games that long ago, and Katniss’s face was everywhere after that interview.

 

“Officer Sun!” A voice rang out in the stillness of the night and a white shadow strode into view, “Where are you taking President Snow’s… guests?” The peacekeeper escorting Johanna and Katniss straightened to attention and moved imperceptibly in front of Johanna, blocking her from the other peacekeeper’s view.  
  
“This is tribute Everdeen from Twelve, and the Victor.” Interesting, Johanna thought, the peacekeeper hadn’t said she wasn’t from the same district as Katniss. Of course if the peacekeeper’s colleague cared enough to look at Johanna she’d know in an instant who she was.  
  
“And why aren’t they in the party with the other tributes?”  
  
“I am just escorting them back there now sir, I believe they lost their way.” Peacekeeper Sun replied.  
  
“Well, sort this out. I hope you can be trusted with that Officer Sun? I have heard about your recent involvements. You understand any relations with outsiders is strictly against regulations.”  
  
“Sir.” Peacekeeper Sun tersely replied. her colleague hesitated, as if expecting something more, then nodded briskly and marched off, no doubt to throw his weight around with someone else Johanna thought bitterly.

 

Peacekeeper Sun carried on walking along the path, gesturing for Johanna and Katniss to join her and they soon came upon a small door leading into a darkened room, subtle sounds from the party could be heard seeping through so Johanna didn’t think the peacekeeper had led her and Katniss into a trap, Johanna reached out a hand to steady Katniss who looked like she was about to run, but Katniss flinched away. Johanna winced but tried not to let the stab of pain she felt show on her face as she turned to look at the peacekeeper still watching them.  
  
“Thank you.” Johanna nodded to the peacekeeper as Katniss fled back into the mansion. The peacekeeper inclined her head and stared at Johanna as if she was going to say something before changing her mind and delivering a swift salute before turning on her heels and leaving Johanna alone in the entryway.

 

Johanna felt numb as she watched Katniss join the party and be swallowed up by the crowd who immediately rushed around her, vying for her attention. Johanna waited until she saw Haymitch had spotted Katniss, not wanting to leave the girl at the mercy of the Capitol upper class and then slumped off to find Blight. Or get drunk. Which given the Capitol’s attitudes towards parties shouldn’t be too hard.

* * *

 

Johanna spent the next few hours of the party in a haze, people may have spoken to her, she was probably rude, she knew there was alcohol. Eventually Johanna spotted Blight surrounded by a group of Capitol women, Johanna strode over and pushed her way past the women acting like they were on heat.  
  
“Forget it, if you’re not going to give us the sponsors now you’re wasting our time.” She interrupted.  
  
“Johanna! She didn’t mean it girls, this is…” Blight trailed off as the group of Capitol women glared at him and flounced away. “Johanna, where have you been?” Blight turned and stared at Johanna who looked like she was about to shatter. “Jo? What’s wrong?” Blight asked, concerned at the empty look he saw in Johanna’s eyes.  
  
“Nothing. Except that I’m here.” She snarled at Blight. “Don’t they have their fill on misery yet? It’s sick the way they can stand here, laughing and joking and fucking talking to them when they’ll cheer when the cannon fires tomorrow! This is why they own us you know Blight.” Johanna swayed on her feet and Blight moved to grab onto her arm “Don’t touch me!” Johanna screamed, pulling away from Blight. Blight backed away, hands raised.  
  
“Jo, calm down,” Blight looked around nervously at the Capitol guests who were openly staring at them. “I’m not going to touch you.”  
  
“They own us, and they fucking know it. We’re their pets; they pamper us and dress us up then throw us into a cage to fight for their entertainment. And we all just fucking let them! They think we’re tame, they’ve housebroken us but we’re not. I’m not. I’ll show them.” Johanna’s eyes burned with anger, Blight hurriedly looked around for their tributes and saw them still by the tables of food.

  
  
“Let’s go get our tributes then Jo, okay?” Blight gestured towards their tributes and noticed a peacekeeper was also making their way towards the tributes. Johanna’s eyes narrowed as she finally managed to focus on the tributes and peacekeeper.  
  
“Oh, I don’t think so.” Johanna growled as she and Blight pushed their way through the ever growing crowd around them and made their way over to the buffet tables.  
  
“What’s going on here?” Blight asked the peacekeeper who was currently talking to their worried looking tributes.  
  
“I have had complaints from the Capitol citizens about the company at this table -.”  
  
“Are you kidding me?” Johanna hissed, cutting off the peacekeeper. “Look, Sycamore here is just trying to enjoy his last day and you’re trying to stop him eating the food? No one else here is! Or if they are they’re throwing it straight back up!” Johanna clenched her fists and tried to close the distance between her and the peacekeeper but Blight pulled her back.  
  
“Ma’am this isn’t about your tributes eating the food. Numerous guests have reported on a small rodent in this area.” The peacekeeper stated, looking from Johanna to the table of food, Johanna followed his lead and noticed that much of the plates of food looked like a small creature had been gnawing on it, or running over it. Or was that… Oh. Shit.  
  
“Ah.” Blight said glancing at an embarrassed looking Ash.  
  
“As long as the...” The peacekeeper trailed off  
  
“Mouse.” Ash supplied helpfully, to the frustration of his mentors.  
  
“Right, the mouse. Which you have I take it?” the peacekeeper asked Ash, who gaped like a fish at the question. “Let me put it another way, will anyone else from the Capitol see this mouse tonight?”  
  
“You don’t have to worry about that. We were just going to leave anyway. Willow, Ash, you have everything?” Blight eyed the tributes meaningfully and Ash patted his pocket nodding abashed. “Excellent, we’ll be off then.”  
  
And with that Blight steered Johanna quickly away from the peacekeeper, glancing back to make sure their tributes were following along behind. They swiftly made their way towards the exit, Blight did his best to avoid the Capitol citizens who tried to stop them to talk, but when that failed he let Johanna glare at them until they stopped trying to talk to them.

 

Once outside Blight helped the tributes and Johanna into the carriage, despite her protests that she didn’t need any help. When they were all finally inside the carriage and on the way back to their living quarters he jumped as Johanna began to speak softly.

“They couldn’t break me Blight, they tried, you know they did. They killed everyone but I’m still alive. I survived. I killed my enemies but they’re still here. They said we won but we didn’t, did we?” Johanna said quietly with no expression, her eyes staring at things no one else could see. Blight slowly moved and cautiously put his arm around Johanna, who recoiled at first but then just sat there next to Blight.  
Blight stared at the tributes on the bench next to him who looked back with a mixture of terrified and distraught expressions and sighed.  
  
“Some party, hey kids?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one took an unexpected turn.  
> Next chapter is the Games, hopefully it will be posted next week, but I want to rewatch Hunger Games before I write it.  
> So I edited this chapter and the older ones with line breaks in between the different people's speech, potentially making it easier to read?  
> -Upgraded to T for language, and the deaths in the Games chapter… not sure on the specifics for the criteria in the lower ratings but thought T would probably cover a multitude of sins.


	10. Chapter 10

“It’s so typical of the Capitol to have a party right before they have to go in for their score assessment.” Blight bit out frustrated as they waited for their tributes to return to their living quarters.  
  
“Hey, you know as well as I do the scores don’t matter.” Johanna replied.  
  
“They do matter, high scores mean better odds of sponsors. No one wants to sponsor someone they don’t think will win.” Blight stared angrily at the projector which was running a feed of past Game highlights.  
  
“My score wasn’t high.”  
  
“You purposefully made yourself have a low score so no one would see you as a threat in the Arena. Cunning and vicious.” Blight gave Johanna a quick smile “I’m glad we weren’t in the same Games, I don’t think I could have beaten you. These kids though…” Blight trailed off and stared at the muted projector feed.  
  
“I know.” Johanna said quietly. They both stared unseeing at the projector screen showing a loop of explosions tinged with red. “Everything always ends the same way.” Johanna sighed.  
  
“What do you expect?” Blight asked, “This is the Capitol’s game, we have to play by their rules.”

 

The two sat in silence for a while until Johanna could hear the edge of a conversation happening outside their door.  
  
“And of course you must remember that it really is an honour to be in the Games, your names will be remembered for years to come. And you had the chance to see the Capitol! Think how jealous your friends back in Seven must be-” Johanna quickly got up and strode over to the door, yanking it open to see their escort talking to two dejected looking tributes.  
  
“For Panem’s sake Jingles! Shut up!” Johanna yelled. The two tributes looked up at her and Johanna had to work hard to school her features. “Come on, let’s watch the scores.” Everyone followed Johanna back to the sofa and they sat down with Blight.

 

The feed switched back to Caesar who was still chuckling at the last image shown from the past Games reel of a tribute screaming clutching at the stump where his arm used to be while a stocky boy raised a sword back over his head for another blow. Blight flicked the sound back onto the projection set in time for them to hear Caesar announce that the scores for the tributes in the 74th Hunger Games had been decided, and then he wasted time talking about each tribute and what the Capitol had so far seen from them from their interview and when they were reaped.  
  
“Ugh get _on_ with it. It’s not like they haven’t been showing every little videoed piece of footage of the tributes around the clock anyway.” Johanna grumbled.  
  
“It’s all about the show.”  Blight said just as Caesar finally started to announce the scores for the tributes.  
  
“Predictable the One and Two have top scores.” Johanna groused then she looked at the two children sitting next to her, their faces pale and worried. “Not that that really means anything. No one knows how it will play out in the Arena.”  
  
“High scores often put a target on your back.” Blight added.  
  
“Exactly.” Johanna nodded, “most of the top scorers will go after each other straight away to lessen the competition.”

 

The group sat in silence until Caesar reached the scores for district Seven. The two tributes shifted agitatedly on the sofa while Caesar ran through the perceptions the Capitol had of them. Johanna and Blight both tensed and focused solely on the screen. Eventually their images were shown on the screen along with their scores. Once Caesar had announced them everyone in the room let out their collectively held breaths and turned to face one another.  
  
“How did you pull that off Red?” Johanna said, shocked at the eight they had scored the young girl with.  
  
“Well. I have skills.” Willow said blushing.  
  
“No, seriously, how did you do that?” Johanna asked  
  
“Magic.” Willow gives a little half shrug.  
  
“Riiiight.” Johanna said with an eyebrow raised. “Well, just be careful, I hear there’s nothing but gingerbread houses and flaying people alive down that path.”  
  
“I’m impressed with Ash here,” Blight said, patting the boy hard enough on the shoulder to make him wince. “A six is perfect for the strategy we discussed.” Ash’s previously dismayed face cheered slightly as Blight continued to explain how a middling score was perfect for him. As Blight and Jingles kept up the stream of compliments and support for their mentees Johanna kept her eyes trained on the projector screen and the scores given to the other tributes. Caesar was nearing the end of the list of tributes when a picture of the girl from Eleven came up on screen.  
  
“She looks too young.” Willow quietly remarked.  
  
“She’s twelve. Only just made the age limit. You know how the Capitol thinks, once your soulmark comes in you’re old enough for the Games.” Johanna looked at Willow who was gripping her forearm while staring fixedly at the screen. “Hey, it will be okay.” Johanna nudged Willow with her shoulder, the younger girl looked at her, eyes starting to tear. “And she will be okay too.” Johanna nodded towards Willow’s arm. “You two will meet up somewhere. I know it.” Willow gave a tentative smile at that and nodded her head; turning back to the conversation Blight and Ash were having on avoiding trouble at the start of the Game.

 

Blight was still talking over the projection feed, giving their mentees advice on how to avoid the careers and use their scores to their advantage, while Johanna’s attention remained fixed on the projector screen as Caesar neared the end of the list of tributes. Johanna’s heart was beating so fast she thought everyone would be able to hear it, and then finally Katniss’s image was shown on the screen along with a large number eleven. Johanna felt nauseous and light headed, how had she got an eleven? She hadn’t seen that skilled in the training rooms, what the hell was Haymitch playing at; surely he knew what this would mean for her now? Johanna took a deep breath and looked around the room trying to shake the sudden dizzy feelings she had.  
  
“An eleven? That’s surprising.” Blight interrupted her thoughts. “She’s going to have the careers itching to take her out with a score that high.”  
  
“What does that mean for us?” A faint voice asked, Johanna fought to hear what Blight was saying against the overwhelming sound of blood rushing in her ears but then wished she hadn’t.  
  
“Nothing really, stay out of her way, there’s no knowing what she did to get that score. The careers might try to ally with her, but from what I saw it didn’t look like she would be very amenable to making friends. With any luck she and the careers will fight amongst themselves.” Blight carried on speaking, oblivious to the turmoil his words were causing Johanna.

 

Not that it wasn’t anything she didn’t already know, Johanna thought to herself. She was having trouble focusing on what the others in the room were saying, she vaguely saw Jingles look at her with concern but he quickly looked away once she snarled at him. Blight was still trying to draw Johanna in to his strategy talks with the kids but Johanna couldn’t focus on anything other than the fact that the Games were tomorrow, and Katniss would be entering the Arena for what would likely be the last time Johanna would see her. Well, until next year and the years after that when they would show clips from the Games. Johanna hoped Katniss didn’t do anything memorable or interesting in the Arena, there’s no way she could stand seeing a ghost of Katniss every year. Johanna’s chest tightened as she remembered the way Katniss had looked at the party last night, standing alone under the tree illuminated by the fairy lights strung up around her. And how she had looked after they had kissed, cheeks flushed, lips swollen and so achingly perfect in her arms. Johanna closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying her best to clear the memories, better she try to forget about it now to make the horror of the Games bearable.  
  
“You kids should probably try and get some sleep, you’ll be glad of it tomorrow.” Johanna said as she got up to go into her own room. Blight nodded and the two tributes became much more subdued as the realisation of what tomorrow was hit them again. 

* * *

 

  
The next morning Johanna awoke to the worried faces of her mentees and Blight sitting at the table picking at the food in front of them. Johanna sat down and attempted to stand the silence and the sombre mood before she abruptly stood up and after a warning glance from Blight didn’t say anything to the two children and instead went back into her room. Johanna picked up her axe and started throwing it at the wall, the wall had already borne the brunt of her past frustrations and it wasn’t long before a large chunk cracked and fell from the wall dropping to the floor with a satisfying clunk. Johanna smiled when she considered what the Capitol officials who would check over the property once they all left for Seven would say. Usually they would get the Avoxes to clean but once the mentors left they couldn’t help themselves but fall over to see if they could find anything connecting themselves to their favourite ‘victor’. Johanna shook her head and threw the axe harder at the wall, the only thing she planned on leaving behind were these scars on the wall. They didn’t compare to the ones the Capitol had given her, but with the absence of Game makers heads to target they would have to do.  

 

Johanna felt the steady dull thud of her axe and the slight ache in her arm muscles calm her and she let herself think about the Game again. In less than four hours they would all be making their way across the Capitol to wherever the Arena was this year, twenty four children all getting ready to kill- or trying to make their peace with the idea that they would die soon. Johanna wondered which group Katniss fell into, she didn’t seem like she would just roll over and play dead, and she had scored an eleven. But what did that even mean? She hadn’t touched a weapon in the group training sessions, what could a girl from Twelve know that would keep her alive in the Arena?  Johanna’s stomach rolled as she thought of Katniss in the Arena, being hunted by the Careers or, oh god, the cornucopia. Johanna prayed Haymitch had told his mentees to run from the cornucopia as soon as they could. Unless Katniss’s special skill was some kind of telepathic murder she wouldn’t last the bloodbath the cornucopia proved to be every year. Johanna’s stomach flipped and the nausea threatened to rise up again as her mind was invaded by thoughts and images of Katniss in the Arena, fighting for her life against the careers, against her own tributes, against everyone Johanna knew and dying in a multitude of different ways. Johanna was stilled by the image of Katniss lying prone on the ground, body broken and her dazzling eyes looking at Johanna’s for the last time as a steel trap, teeth covered in blood, descends from the sky to collect her body and take it away from Johanna forever. And here was Johanna, useless and unable to help. Johanna flung her axe particularly hard at the wall and clenched her jaw, she had been in the Games, and had been forced to watch it every year, if her imagination wanted to recycle past images of deaths for her with Katniss as the star they had a lot to get through.

 

Johanna’s attack on the wall was interrupted by Blight cautiously sticking his head into her room and signalling it was time to go. No one said anything as their group made their way down to the cars that would transport them to the helicarrier which would take them to the Arena. Johanna was lost in thoughts of Katniss on the ride over, her mind switched from reminiscing about their night together at Snow’s mansion, Katniss pressed up against her perfect in her arms, and dreams of what might have happened if they hadn’t been interrupted. Johanna had shifted awkwardly in her seat, cheeks flushing after coming back to reality from those mental images. Yet her thoughts of Katniss would inevitably shift from the younger girl being in her arms, kissing the girl from Twelve against the tree or stripping every piece of clothing from her in the garden of Snow’s mansion, kissing and licking and nibbling along her exposed skin until she found her name inked across Katniss’s skin. To Katniss begging for help as she was killed in front of Johanna. Johanna holding a dying Katniss in her arms, frantically trying to stem the blood rushing out of wounds marking her soulmate. These thoughts caused the same blow of devastation to Johanna’s heart every time they crept into her happier dreams and memories of Katniss, Johanna tried to stop thinking about the girl from Twelve altogether, but her mind wouldn’t cooperate and her face paled further as the ride went on.

 

Once they reached their destination and their mentees were led out of the car and away to the hellicarrier by the escort Blight turned to Johanna.  
  
“I know what you’re thinking Johanna.” Johanna blinked in surprise.  
  
“You do?” She asked incredulously.  
  
“Your eyes have that promise of violence I have come to know and love so well.” Blight attempted a small smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “You can’t save them.”  
  
“Them… I don’t- why do you think I want to?” Johanna questioned.  
  
“You’ve not been how you usually are when we come to mentor… it’s getting to you this time. Well, I think it does anyway.” Johanna scoffed and looked away “Don’t do that, you’re not as tough as you think you are. As you pretend you are.” Blight quickly continued, Johanna glared at him at that, causing Blight to grin and try to ruffle her hair. “Usually you put up your big unfeeling front; you pretend you don’t care about anyone other than yourself. But this year… I’ve seen the cracks this year. You do care, and you’re worried about these kids.”  
  
“Well. That was the biggest crock of shit you’ve ever spouted. You’re wrong. I do only care about myself because there _is_ no one else. There’s just me Blight, you know that. I never knew these kids until they were reaped. And I’d have to be pretty fucking brainless to start caring about them once I knew they were sentenced to die.” Johanna moved away from Blight and towards the hellicarrier

 

Johanna joined Blight and entered the hellicarrier that would drop both of the tributes into the Arena. Their two mentees were looking terrified and avoided looking at each other. Johanna rolled her eyes as a peacekeeper in the corner eyed Johanna and hefted his weapon from one hand to another.  
  
“Do what you can down there. Just… be careful. Keep your wits about you.” Blight said to them both, his jaw clenched in anger.  
  
“Remember; if you have the shot take it.” Johanna added. “And… Willow… Ash… good luck.” Johanna nodded to the tributes and steeled herself for an ugly goodbye.  
  
“You called me by the right name!” Ash said surprised. Johanna rolled her eyes.  
  
“Of course I know your name. What kind of person did you think I was?” Johanna grinned at the two tributes who gave weak smiles in return. “So, uh do you want us to look after your mouse until -while you’re in there?” Johanna asked. Ash looked at her shocked, “By ‘us’ I mean Blight. He’ll look after the rodent.” Johanna added quickly.  
  
“Sure I’ll look after the little guy, what’s its name?” Blight leaned over to pick up the mouse from Ash’s outstretched hands.

 

As soon as Blight had taken the mouse from Ash two tubes came down from the helicarrier’s roof sealing the tributes inside. Ash shouted the mouse’s name from inside the tube. And they both descended into the Arena.  
  
“What was that he said?” Johanna asked confused.  
  
“Sounded like Peek at you?” Blight replied questioningly, “Or, Pick a two …are there two?”  
  
“Hmm. Weird name.” Johanna mused, staring at the tiny mouse now quivering in Blight’s large hand.  
  
“Yeah.” Blight said dully as he stared at the holes in the helicarrier the two tributes had left through.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I totally lied, this isn't the Games next chapter though.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of violence and death

As soon as the tributes had descended into the Arena Johanna and Blight rushed from their helicarrier and made their way into one of the monitoring areas set up for the people from the Capitol involved in the Games. All the other mentors were there waiting to see how the inevitable massacre at the start of the Games would play out. Later on they would move to more public accessible areas around the Capitol in a quest for sponsors for their tributes but the past victors rarely wanted to miss the start. And Johanna was no exception, especially for this Games.

 

Johanna stared at the screens showing the tributes standing on pressure pads, her eyes quickly sought out Katniss and she tried to decipher the expression of extreme concentration on the younger girl’s face. Katniss was staring fixedly at the cornucopia and Johanna felt a chill settle over her. She's going to go for the cornucopia. Does Haymitch not tell his tributes a _nything_? Johanna's brow furrowed and she clenched her fists, feeling useless as she willed the younger girl to run from the cornucopia.

 

The tone signalling the start of the Games sounded and Johanna held her breath as Katniss stood for what seemed like an eternity, neither running to or from the cornucopia. Johanna breathed a sigh of relief when Katniss finally ran for the tree line after grabbing a rucksack. Blight's sudden swearing brought her focus back to the room she was in, Johanna quickly glanced around making sure no one on the room had been aware of where her attention had been focused but everyone was too busy watching the screens to notice where Johanna’s interest had been. Johanna looked back from the screen showing a quickly retreating Katniss to the multiple screens focused on the mess that was the cornucopia.

 

Johanna glanced back in time to see Ash throw a spear at a tribute who held a struggling Willow. The spear flew true and hit the boy, one kill to Ash and Willow was safe. Johanna saw Blight grin out of the corner of her eye. Okay now they had to run, get out of there they wouldn’t last long in the mayhem Willow grabbed a rucksack and started to run. Good, good, stay away, stay alive, Johanna chanted in her head as she watched the young redhead leave the cornucopia area.

“No…” Blight gasped.

Johanna snapped her eyes back to the screen showing Ash. Thresh, the boy from Eleven, held him in a headlock and drew a knife across his flesh. Johanna’s stomach lurched as she saw the killing blow, Thresh struck Ash on the head and he went down. Johanna stared at the boy from Seven, unmoving amongst the carnage around him. Blood steadily seeping from the wound on his neck, staining the ground.

 

Johanna dragged her eyes from Ash and scanned the monitors, checking for feeds showing Willow and Katniss, she saw Willow first. Johanna watched as Willow tripped in slow motion, then before the redhead could get back up a tribute was on her. Johanna recognised Marvel, one of the career tributes, Marvel grabbed Willow by the neck and Johanna could see his hands tighten as he pushed Willow’s face further into the ground. Willow’s hands were outstretched, frantically scrabbling for purchase on the ground of the Arena, or for something, anything to get Marvel off of her. Johanna watched as Willow’s movements slowed, barely having the force to push at the ground beneath her. Eventually she stopped, and lay there still.  Marvel reached behind him for a knife held in his belt and stabbed Willow twice in the side. As the career tribute got up from the girl from Seven Johanna took in his smirk and clenched her fists, looking for something to punch, or better, something to hit with her axe. The boy had had a knife all along and instead of using it had spent his time slowly suffocating Willow. Johanna stared at the monitor screens blankly. Two kids dead and they hadn't even lasted ten minutes.

 

Johanna was harshly reminded of the life expectancy of most of the children in the Arena and she glanced over the other screens trying to find one showing Katniss. Johanna’s breath caught in her throat when she noticed a tribute throw a knife at Katniss. Johanna could hardly bear to look at the screen next to it that had zoomed in on Katniss, she stared at the screen showing the knife throwing tribute’s reaction, trying to analyse his face, gauge what had happened from his expression. The boy turned away from the camera and ran in a different direction to the one Katniss was in. He would have gone to get her bag wouldn’t he? If he had the chance you would take everything you could find in the Arena. Johanna rationalised, trying to convince herself the girl from Twelve was still alive. Eventually Johanna managed a glance at the screen showing Katniss and let out a sigh of relief when she saw the girl up and running, a knife sticking out of her rucksack.   
  
"Well. At least it was a short Game." Blight said wearily. Johanna looked at him and his expression immediately changed to one of worry and compassion. "Jo, we did the best we could." Blight moved to put an arm around Johanna but she quickly shrugged it off. Blight gave her a sad little grin that didn't reach his eyes "Come on. We need to go to the medical facility to collect their ashes to take home"

 

Johanna looked worriedly back at the screens showing the children around the cornucopia, mainly the careers collecting weapons and other useful items ignoring the bodies of dead children that littered the floor. Johanna couldn't see Katniss on any of the screens, most of which were centred on the massacre of the cornucopia, zoomed in on every dead child and gleeful survivor collecting up weapons and other useful items. At least if none of the screens are showing Katniss, she must not be in immediate danger of being killed. The Capitol would never leave deaths off screen. Especially not in a monitoring centre where you can view almost all of the tributes and Arena simultaneously. Johanna reluctantly turned to leave the wall of monitor screens and followed Blight to the medical facility nearby.

 

Johanna followed Blight through the sterile corridors of the Capitol’s main medical facility. At least the tributes this year had been killed quickly, almost neatly, that wasn’t too bad to see compared to some of the past tributes she had mentored. Having multiple mentors sorting out pieces from tributes, separating them so they could confirm who they took back to Seven in an urn was their tribute. Which was a joke in itself, everyone knew the Capitol kept the bodies of the districts dead children. They would send an urn filled with ashes supposed to be from the fallen tributes back with the escorts and mentors, but no one really believed anything from the tributes were in them. The Games had seen too many strange effects and obstacles featuring aspects of old tributes over the years to believe that.

 

As Blight and Johanna left the small room holding the body of Willow, who lay covered with a sheet, looking almost peaceful, they made their way to the second room the technician had directed them to. As they neared the door they heard raised voices, Johanna exchanged a glance with Blight and they strode purposefully towards the entrance.

“What!” exclaimed the lead doctor already halfway out the door, “He can’t go back into the Games now, he’s supposed to be dead!” Blight and Johanna exchange looks and Johanna scanned the bare room for a weapon.   
  
“He’s comatose.” The first examiner explains looking extremely nervous. “Practically dead. In all likelihood he’ll never wake.”   
  
“Humph. Well. That’s better.” The examiner in charge looks mollified. “Do the usual treatments to wake him, if he does he’ll have to be moved back into the Arena. Maybe we could get a Sponsor to claim for this treatment?” He looked questioningly over at Johanna and Blight and noticed their tense postures for the first time, and schools his face into a more apologetic expression, “I am sorry about this, we’re not usually this inept around here.” He said with a glare at his staff scurrying around the young boy. “There must have been an accident with the monitoring system during the… what happened. You can be sure I will be lodging a formal complaint with the technicians in charge of those systems.”  
  
“And until then, what happens to Ash?”   
  
“Ah, yes, well. In all honesty the boy has been unconscious and his brain starved of oxygen for far too long. What we’re seeing here is very slight brain activity. It is my professional opinion that the boy is, from the medical stand point, dead.”

“And what, from a non-medical standpoint he’s alive?” Johanna questioned angrily, eyeing the doctor with distrust.

“Look, we attached his body to this machine, designed to, among other things, track and monitor all life signs. Once it detected the brain activity it restarted the boy’s heart, and is currently the only thing pumping blood around his body and forcing his lungs to take in oxygen. Without this his bodily functions will cease within seconds. His brain may still be firing electrical impulses, but they’re nowhere near strong enough to control his body, or even wake him up. It’s just the ghost of neurons firing.”

 

Johanna and Blight made their way back from the medical centre, holding the supposed ashes of Willow and carrying a small box containing tokens from Ash for his family.

“Well, at least we can go home now.” Blight said.

“What?”

“We’ve done our job, no one in the Capitol could argue otherwise, we may as well go back to Seven and explain to Willow and Ash’s parents what happened.”

“They saw what happened; they don’t need us to tell them what it was like to see it close up in magnificent high definition.” Johanna bit back. Blight turned to look at Johanna and his eyes softened at what he saw.

“We don’t have to stay here Jo.” Blight said softly.

“You can go back if you want, there’s nothing in Seven for me.” Johanna said annoyed at Blight’s sudden show of compassion for her.

“There’s nothing here for you either!” Blight replied exasperated.

“I’m staying until the Games are done.” Johanna said levelly.

“Fine. Torture yourself watching more kids die. Hell, take advantage of the Capitol’s bars and the handsome citizens all clamouring for a chance with a victor.” Johanna’s stomach lurched at Blight’s words and she felt nauseous.

“You. Shut up.” Johanna hissed at Blight. Blight looked taken aback; Johanna stepped closer to him, her face showing nothing but cold fury. “You have the nerve to talk to me about fucking people from the Capitol when you _know_ that I…” Johanna paused and stepped back; taking in Blight’s startled and worried expression. “Get lost Blight. Go back home. I’ll see you when I see you.”

“Jo…” Blight said cajolingly.

“I don’t want to talk to you right now, and I don’t think you want us to get into anything do you?” Johanna glared at Blight who stepped back shaking his head. The two of them had never fought for real, sparring to keep in shape sure, and maybe not so friendly drunken brawls. But Blight knew from Johanna’s expression that this was one of the times to leave the wrathful brunette alone.

 

Johanna left Blight at the exit of the medical facility and rushed off to find a projector screen showing the Games. Johanna knew it wouldn’t be too hard, everywhere would be showing the blood splattered spectacle, but she had no excuse to be in the monitoring area most other victors would still be in. Johanna no longer had a tribute to watch and gain sponsors for, as far as everyone else was aware now she would be watching the Games for her own amusement. Johanna considered going back to their living quarters and watching on their screen but Blight would probably be there, packing for home. Johanna headed to one of the bars she knew that had multiple screens but was usually quiet during the Games as it was as much as a dive bar as the Capitol got.

 

Johanna was seated near the back but with a good view of the projector screens. It was nearing the end of the first day and most of the tributes were off on their own, looking for food or somewhere to make camp. Except the careers. A group of them were still near the cornucopia, laughing and joking and collecting all the weapons and food they could want. Johanna saw Marvel with the group and snarled, almost shattering her glass in her grip. Another flash of blonde hair made her pause, was that… bread boy! That little shit who had claimed to love Katniss was running with the career pack. The people who would without a doubt be gunning for the girl from Twelve after she scored so highly in the skills assessment. Johanna scanned the rest of the screens again, there wasn’t as many screens in the bar as the monitoring centre had but there was still a multiple shot view of the Arena. Johanna reminded herself that no view was good news, since it meant Katniss must be doing something the Capitol deemed boring, like surviving.

 

Finally Johanna caught a glimpse of Katniss on one of the smaller screens; Johanna held her breath as the camera zoomed in on the snare she was fashioning from a piece of wire. The picture zoomed out and Johanna looked at the concentration on Katniss’s face, how she kept looking around her, watching her surroundings and she felt a keen ache in her chest. Katniss looked around again, making brief eye contact with the hidden camera and Johanna stared at her face, committing it to memory. The screen suddenly showed another tribute running from the career pack, the boy from Twelve was following, running near the back of the pack carrying a few backpacks and weapons. You’ve joined the enemy to be their pack mule then bread boy, Johanna muttered to herself.

 

Johanna stared at the screens disinterestedly, constantly scanning the monitors waiting for Katniss to show up again. The next time Johanna saw Katniss she was eating what looked to be a squirrel. Johanna felt her heart lift at the thought that Katniss had the skills to survive in the wilderness environment that this year’s Arena was. Katniss climbed a tree and settled into the sleeping bag she had in her rucksack, tying herself to the branch. Johanna smiled at that, finishing her drink she stood to go home. Katniss was smart, she had found food, and she had made a safe camp for the night. The careers wouldn’t hunt at night; they wouldn’t know what to look for, or how to move in the dark forest without drawing attention to themselves. Johanna felt a weight lift from her chest, the first day was over, Katniss was still alive. Johanna grinned at the bartender when she paid her tab; he looked at her shocked and quickly gathered up her money and moved on to another customer.

 

Johanna quirked an eyebrow at him then vaguely remembered refusing to pay the last time she was in and throwing an axe into someone’s drink, smashing it and causing the peacekeepers to arrive and arrest everyone involved. Well, everyone except Johanna, can’t have a victor involved in a bar fight after all. Johanna whistled for a cab to take her back to the living quarters and tried to hold on to the sense of peace she finally felt. Although she knew soon enough she would be back agonising over Katniss being in the Arena, and Johanna outside it, unable to help her soulmate stay alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was an abrupt end to the tributes from Seven, I know. But they were essentially redshirts in the book/film, unnamed who died straight away once the Games began. I considered dragging their fight out a little longer but they would both have to die at some point. 
> 
> I don’t know if you guys are familiar with the theory that Ash is in a coma hallucinating the events in Pokémon. If you’re not; *whispers* some people think he’s in a coma hallucinating the events in Pokémon. Anyway, I couldn’t resist it. Because now I can pretend Pokémon is in Hunger Games, well... my version of Hunger Games, where Katniss and Johanna are super gay and kiss. Although if I could magically make my story canonical I wouldn’t choose to save Oak, I mean Rowan, ah whoever, out of my tributes.


	12. Chapter 12

Johanna comes back to the living quarters and her bright mood disappears as she takes in Blight, slumped on the sofa and smelling like a distillery. The projector screen is showing highlights of the opening of the Games and Johanna sees Ash and Willow go down five times from different angles in the space of a few minutes. Panem knows how many times Blight has seen this while he’s been sitting here getting steadily more and more drunk.

 

“Blight? Have you been hanging out with Haymitch?” Johanna questions Blight as she eyes him warily.

“The man has a solid strategy Jo.”

“A solid strategy for poisoning his liver.”

“Every year I bring kids to die. Every year. Why do we do it? How have the Capitol got us so under their thumb that we’ll willingly bring children here to be murdered for their entertainment? And for what? So the districts know who’s got all the power? It’s blatantly obvious we have nothing here. We’re out their starving, selling our lives for a bag of grain and the Capitol have so much food they throw it away!”

“Or throw it up.” Johanna adds under her breath. Blight continues to stare blankly at the projector screen, ignoring Johanna’s comment.

“I’m tired of it Jo. I’m so tired.”

“I know, I know.” Johanna moved closer to Blight and awkwardly patted him on the arm. Blight’s eyes swivelled to look at her for a moment before he cracked a weak smile.

“Well damn Jo, no one told me you had such a caring bedside manner.”

“Oh shut up boozy.” Johanna mocked and pushed at Blight’s arm, causing him to tip over.

“Aah there’s the Johanna Mason I know.” Johanna helped Blight get to his feet and he staggered to the door of his sleeping quarters. “I’m leaving tomorrow Jo.” He said, stopping at the door and turning to face her.

“We’ll talk about it in the morning Blight.” Johanna said quietly as she watched Blight stumble into his room.

 

Johanna checked the projector screen before leaving for her own room. It was still showing the cornucopia bloodbath. Johanna went to turn off the screen then hesitated, her hand hovering over the power button. Everyone would probably be safe for the night; the tributes hadn’t worked out if there were traps from the Game makers, walking around in the dark left you open to ambush. Johanna sighed and moved her hand to mute the screen, leaving the pictures flickering through the events of the day. Going to sleep to the sound of children’s screams wasn’t something she needed the projector screen for. As Johanna settled in to her bed she thought of how Katniss was faring sleeping in her tree. At least she had that backpack with the sleeping bag in, she wouldn’t be too cold, would she? Johanna pulled at her downy soft blanket the Capitol had made and scowling tossed it from the bed.

 

The next day Johanna awoke with a start in the early hours of the morning and quickly reached for the axe she kept by the side of the bed and scanned the room. When she had established she was alone Johanna let out the breath she had been holding and relaxed into the mattress, only to immediately rise from the bed and rush into the living area which was illuminated by the flickering light coming from the projector screen. Johanna ran to stand in front of the screen, a growing sense of dread sitting heavy on her chest.

 

The screen showed the careers gathered around a skinny boy, Johanna thought he was from Three. They weren’t killing him, probably playing with their food or waiting until more people were awake to see the pack of five kill a small unarmed boy. Because that’s the sort of crap that will get you sponsors in the Games, Johanna thought angrily before she quickly brought up the control menu and activated the split screen setting that showed the names of the tributes who had been killed in the Arena. Johanna tensed when her eyes hesitated over Willow and Ash’s names on the list but she made her way quickly through the twelve names and sank down on the sofa, breathing a sigh of relief when Katniss’s name wasn’t on the list. Now Johanna wasn’t so focused on what had become of Katniss she became aware of her rapidly beating heart and her sweaty palms. Johanna groaned, this was turning out to be worse than her own Games. At least when _she_ was in the Arena she had some control over what was happening, she wasn’t just a spectator waiting to see who died.

 

Johanna quickly dressed and made her way back to the bar she had watched the Games in yesterday. She didn’t see Blight before she left; he was still in his room, likely sleeping off a monster hangover. Johanna didn’t know if she’d see him when she returned or if he would make good on his plans to go back to Seven. Johanna supposed it would be unusual for her to stay without Blight, she had never been quiet on the subject of her hatred for the Capitol, but most of the Capitol citizens would forget that and remained steadfast in their belief that it was impossible for anyone to harbour ill will towards their city. As for the remaining mentors, they would be too preoccupied with their own concerns during the Games.

 

Johanna sat in her booth picking at bar snacks as she watched Katniss walk in the woods of the Arena, and wondered just what this girl had done at Twelve to make her so at home in the woods. The thought caused a sharp pang of pain in her chest, for all that they both knew they were soulmates Johanna had never really talked to the girl from Twelve, at first she had wanted to avoid the feelings she would cause then with the approaching Games and Katniss’s training it had never seemed like they had had enough time. And now she was viewing her through a monitor, watching as she avoided her potential killers.

 

Johanna closed her eyes and breathed deeply in an attempt to ward off those thoughts of Katniss lying dead in the Arena and wondered if the girl would like Seven. There were trees around Twelve she knew, they were fenced off from the district but Katniss must have spent time in them to look so at home now, but the forests in Seven were something else. Incredibly tall trees reaching out to the sky, casting dappled shadows on the forest floor. And the silence once all the workers had gone home, nothing but birdsong and the occasional larger animal wandering through to shatter the peace and quiet. Johanna often found herself in the woods when she couldn’t stand being in her house in the victors village, she imagined walking there with Katniss, watching the younger girl’s face as she saw the giant trees in Seven for the first time.

 

Johanna pulled herself back to the present with a shudder, now wasn’t the time for useless fantasies, her eyes scanned the multiple screens in the bar, Katniss was nowhere near the other tributes, she was being smart and staying out of everyone’s way. Haymitch must be good for something Johanna thought wryly, feeling a surge of gratitude towards to mentor from Twelve. Then again, since bread boy is still travelling with the careers maybe not. The projector screens had been focused on the career pack throughout most of the day. That was where the winner of the Games was most likely to come from, that was where most of the action would be found.

 

Johanna had already watched the boy from Twelve, who had announced his love for Katniss to the world, kill the girl from Eight after Cato left her bleeding out from a fatal wound to the stomach. Which left Johanna torn, she did not, in any way, want him anywhere near Katniss. But if he cared as much as he had claimed during his interview he should be with her. Hell, he should be there as a human shield and target practice. Yet instead he was palling around with the career pack, killing their leftovers.

 

The screen showing Katniss suddenly zoomed in on the tribute’s face, Johanna tensed knowing the Game makers expected that something was about to happen, Johanna watched Katniss’s face contort in shock then fear and the camera slowly panned out, showing the huge bushfire behind her, herding her. Katniss turns and runs dodging a fireball coming straight at her, another one hurling towards her head, only narrowly missing her. Johanna grips the table in front of her in horror, they are trying to hit her, this isn’t what should be happening, she’s not around the other tributes she should be safe. Johanna curses her own stupidity, she forgotten what the Game makers were like, it wasn’t enough that children were trapped in the Arena they had to be pushed together to make conflicts the viewers would find thrilling.

 

Katniss’s plight had switched to the main viewing screen now, Johanna ground her teeth as other patrons in the bar cheered when a fireball hits Katniss in the leg, if she wasn’t so focused on watching the screens herself she wouldn’t have been able to stop herself from showing them just how much they should be enjoying violence. The girl from Twelve clutches at the wound in her leg in obvious pain and another fireball shooting towards her almost hits her but Katniss rolls down a hill at the last minute. Johanna watched her as she fell, hands clutching the table so hard bits splintered off unnoticed when she saw Katniss wincing in pain as she roughly hit the ground.

 

Katniss eventually came to a stop by falling into a lake, Johanna watched the events on the screen in dismay as she realised seconds before Katniss did that the careers were at the same lake. Johanna’s heart raced as she panics, the boy from Two had noticed Katniss and was shouting for the others. The group quickly gathered their weapons and raced to get towards the injured girl. Katniss stumbled out of the lake and raced through the woods, Johanna’s heart is in her mouth as the careers follow, laughing and shouting taunts as they chased Katniss. Katniss hurriedly climbs a tree and the careers quickly circle around, two of them attempt to climb up after her but neither can manage to get near her. Cato holds up the bow he has on his back and Johanna’s heart stutters, she watches Katniss press herself against the tree as Cato aims, but his shots go wide, Johanna breathes a sigh of relief which is quickly eliminated when Katniss insults the blonde career.

“Maybe you should throw the sword.” Katniss shouts down to the anger of the Cato and the other careers at the base of the tree. Johanna winces at that, if that came from any other tribute she knows she’d appreciate the bravado, and it’s not like anything would get them to spare Katniss but hearing her taunt them only intensifies the fear Johanna feels.

“She has to come down sometime, right? We’ll just wait her out.” Bread boy suggests to Cato and Johanna wants to throttle the traitor for throwing Katniss to them like that, for not helping her while she’s trapped.

 

Johanna watches in dismay as the careers make themselves comfortable at the base of Katniss’s tree, setting up watchers to keep an eye on her. Katniss takes out her water canister and pours some of the water onto her leg, grimacing in pain. Johanna stands up suddenly, the people nearby her in bar look up in surprise but Johanna ignores them, striding out making her way to the Circle to find Haymitch and to ask him what the hell he’s doing while his tributes are in the Arena.

 

The Circle is the largest public viewing area for the Games, the Capitol citizens who are most obsessed with the Games can often be found there, sitting at the small tables and eating ridiculously overpriced food and drink while they watch children from the districts kill each other. And that’s the place most mentors go when they want to find sponsors for their tributes. Johanna doesn’t know where else Haymitch would be, in past Games neither of their districts have had much of a chance, tributes usually dying in the opening but this time Johanna hopes Haymitch has got his act together for his tributes, that he’s not drunk somewhere like usual.

 

Once Johanna gets to the Circle she finds Haymitch easily, he’s sitting with a group of men laughing and drinking, Johanna checks the multiple projector screens in the area, most of them are still showing Katniss stuck up the tree and obviously in pain from her burn. Johanna scowls and marches over, her fury unmistakable. As the men sitting with Haymitch notice her approach they all fall silent, Haymitch is the last to turn around and spot her, but once he does his jovial expression turns annoyed.

“Gentlemen, if you’ll excuse me I think I have some victor business to take care of.” Haymitch says to the group.

“Oh yes, of course.” The men quickly agree, and each of them hurriedly departs, eager to avoid Johanna.

“Well, I was going to leave the table but if you insist.” Haymitch calls after the rapidly fleeing men and gathers up the drinks the group abandoned when they left in a hurry, pouring them into his own glass.

“What the fuck are you doing about this mess?” Johanna angrily hisses at Haymitch as soon as she comes close to the older man.

“Johanna, lovely to see you as always. You do have a knack for clearing a space don’t you?” Haymitch drawled as he looked up at Johanna standing over him.

“Cut the crap Haymitch. She’s been burnt and is stuck up a tree, trapped by the careers and your little lying bread boy. Or did you miss that while you were here drinking with your buddies?” Haymitch stands up and drags Johanna down into a seat.

“Some of us have been here since the beginning of the Games, playing nice with potential _sponsors_ ,” Haymitch stresses the word and waits for Johanna’s face to settle into something close to regret before continuing, “Not sitting in a bar like you. You smell like a brewery Johanna, I mean really, show a little restraint.” Haymitch grins at her.

“I’m glad you find all this amusing Abernathy.” Johanna seethes. “It’s not like it’s usually you who’s passed out in a bar for the duration of the Games or anything. And not that it’s any of your business but I barely drank, that place just smells is all.”

“Look Johanna, she’s in no immediate danger-”

“No immediate danger! The careers have her cornered in a tree! Call back your sponsor friends and send her something!” Johanna cuts Haymitch off, her rage quickly building in the face of his neglect towards Katniss.

“Johanna,” Haymitch says, much too calmly for Johanna’s liking. “She’s safe at the minute; no one will sponsor her against the careers like this, not before she’s shown them she’s worth the effort.”

“Worth the effort! Haymitch-”

“Johanna if you want to help Katniss right now you need to stop scaring away the people I drink with, and stop being so outwardly shaken by what’s happening. Now, come sit with me so you have an excuse to watch our girl.”

 

Johanna and Haymitch sit in the Circle watching the screens in silence, Haymitch had tried to bring over a few wealthy Capitol citizens he knew to their table but they didn’t stick around long. Night is approaching and a few of the people have left, there’s still more around than usual at this time though. All watching to see what will happen to Katniss. Johanna can feel herself getting steadily angrier and angrier at them all watching Katniss on screen and not doing anything because it is entertaining. But she knows she’s in the same boat. Only worse because they won’t ever let victors pay to sponsor tributes, and Johanna was never very good at getting sponsors for her tributes in the past.

  
 Katniss has been in the tree for hours, ignoring the careers camped at the base waiting for her when Johanna notices her expression change, she is  recognises something, or someone, Johanna doesn’t move her attention from the screen focusing on Katniss who is now looking at some sort of hive a few branches above her in the tree. Haymitch lets out a short laugh beside her, his eyes on a different screen.

“And she said she couldn’t make friends.”

“What?” Johanna asks, frowning as Katniss carefully moves closer to the hive and begins cutting at the branch it’s fixed to.

“That there is a trackerjacker hive.”

“Aren’t they extremely poisonous?”

“Yup.” Haymitch says, pride colouring his tone. “This will let the sponsors know she’s someone to bet on.”

 

Johanna doesn’t respond, instead watching as Katniss saws through the branch, a few of the trackerjackers sting her and Johanna winces in sympathy, hoping this gambit will pay off for her. The branch finally breaks and the hive falls right where the careers are waiting. Katniss quickly climbs down the tree while the tributes who had been waiting to kill her are fleeing from the angry trackerjackers, she misses her foothold and falls down the last few feet when she gets up she starts running. Johanna watches, worry eating at her as Katniss’s movements are sluggish, and she stumbles often, Katniss runs into a tree and pauses. Johanna can tell the trackerjacker venom is having an effect on Katniss, she’s too scared to look away from the screen showing Katniss to check on what the other tributes who were stung were doing, whether they’re in the same boat as Katniss or if any had escaped the stings and are now hunting the girl from Twelve while she’s weak.

 

Johanna is pulled from watching the misery unfold by Haymitch pulling at her to sit back down, Johanna hadn’t noticed she had stood up and was being observed by most of the people nearby. Johanna glances around and sees the table that she must have knocked over in her haste to stand and the puzzled and curious faces watching her, but her attention is swiftly drawn back to the projector screens. Katniss is struggling to pick up the bow being held by Glimmer, the tribute from One is lying prone on the ground, features nearly unrecognisable with the amount of venom the trackerjackers injected her with.

 

“Get yourself together Jo.” Haymitch says gruffly, Johanna glances at him but her eyes quickly slide back to the screen. “Damnit it is her isn’t it.” Haymitch mutters more to himself than to the distraught woman beside him.

“Katniss! Run!” Peeta shouts and Johanna finds herself agreeing with the baker boy for the first time, hoping, praying that Katniss will listen to him.

 

Realisation unexpectedly dawns on Johanna, bread boy was with the careers to save Katniss. Johanna’s stomach rolled uneasily, this made sense. She wouldn’t have played it out like that, she wouldn’t have been able to leave Katniss alone, not knowing she was safe, hearing the cannon shots and never knowing if she was alive until they projected pictures of the dead tributes on the Arena ceiling at night. Johanna’s hands clenched and she thinks about the boy from Twelve working to save Katniss, how she owes him for helping her soulmate when she couldn’t. Johanna isn’t used to being indebted to someone, and the fact that it’s the one other person in Panem who has feelings for her soulmate doesn’t sit well with her but she has more pressing things to worry about. Besides, after the Games are over she won’t have to think about the bread boy anymore, she can put a cake on his grave in memory or something.

 

Johanna watches as Katniss stumbles away from the careers, switching between dragging the bow behind her and using it as a crutch, Johanna hopes she knows how to use that thing, Katniss never went near the archery station at the training sessions and a weapon like that could be more of a hindrance if you’re not skilled in it. Katniss doesn’t get far before she goes down. It’s dark in the Arena now, darker than it is in the Circle with their artificial lights and heaters running for the customers still drinking and watching the events unfold. Johanna feels her heart speed up and she grips at the newly righted table, hoping the careers are too hurt to go looking for Katniss, that no one else nearby has noticed the girl from Twelve collapse and think her an easy kill.  


Before long Rue, the small girl from Eleven, finds Katniss. Johanna panics when she sees Rue drop down from a tree and approach Katniss but Rue looks around and drags Katniss off to a nearby clearing that is shielded by a large thicket. The young girl disappears again, leaving Katniss lying on the floor alone. Johanna’s breath catches and she imagines all the things Rue could be getting, perhaps she went to retrieve another weapon from the careers? Or she dropped Katniss’s knife and wanted to use that to-to… Johanna thinks her heart may beat out of her chest while she sits in the Circle doing nothing, she’s aware of Haymitch gripping her shoulder, saying something to her but everything other than the screen showing Katniss comes to her senses distorted, as if she’s underwater. Rue reappears and Johanna tenses, but the young girl kneels down beside Katniss and starts chewing leaves, placing the leafy mush onto Katniss’s stings. Johanna feels desperate gratitude towards the young girl from Eleven as she realises she is taking care of Katniss.

 

“Johanna, stop me if I’m on the wrong track here, but you and Katniss…” Haymitch catches Johanna’s attention after she watched Rue take care of Katniss and curl up to sleep next to her, relief washing over her, calming her. Johanna turns away from the screen and watches the older man warily, subtly checking around to make sure no one is able to overhear their conversation. “Oh that’s just great.” Haymitch cries exasperated. “Well, listen here; I’m the one in control of this situation okay? You… you stay by me, we can talk things through-as long as you don’t start waxing lyrical on the beauty of her cheekbones or brightness of her eyes or some other crap.”

“I never said anything!”

“You didn’t have to.” Haymitch looks at Johanna concerned. “You might want to try and keep your emotions under wraps in the future if you’re going to be watching the Games here, or anywhere else for that matter. A few more outbursts like that and everyone will know why Johanna Mason is suddenly giving a crap about the Games after her tributes are dead.” Johanna glares at Haymitch who stares back unaffected. “Nothing to say? Have we finally reached the bottom of your well of sarcasm and scathing insults? I’ll have to let Blight know he lost the bet, turns out Johanna Mason does have an off switch.”

“Like you’re one to talk, everything you say is either patronising or condescending.”

“Hate to break it to you darlin’ but they mean the same thing.” Haymitch replies causing Johanna to roll her eyes. “Anyway, I’m going to get some sleep, I’m sure I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Sleep? But what about-” Johanna gestures towards the rapidly emptying Circle and the screens still showing Katniss being taken care of by Rue.

“Yes sleep. The girl is fine, the boy less so, but you don’t care about that do you?

“The boy?” Johanna asks confused.

“You didn’t even notice did you?” Haymitch sighs. “Cato stabbed him after he let Katniss escape. He’s walking around the Arena with a stab wound in his thigh while your girl is curled up under a blanket of leaves. Look, go talk to Blight about this. There’s no point staying here without the Capitol folk being around to schmooze and wrangle money from anyway.”

“Blight’s probably back in Seven by now.” Johanna replies offhandedly but Haymitch looks at her bemused.

“He left you while your -he doesn’t know does he?” Haymitch said, understanding dawning.

“You don’t know anything either, so keep your mouth shut.” Johanna glared at Haymitch.

“Sure, sure. Goodnight Johanna, I’ll see you in the morning. Come stop by my quarters, it’ll look less suspicious if you’re here with me. We can pretend we’re friends.”

“Ooh can we braid each other’s hair?” Johanna asked scathingly.

“Don’t be ridiculous, I’ve seen the mess you make of your hair, do you think I’d let you near mine?” Haymitch offers Johanna a half grin but she just ignored the attempt at levity and continued to scowl at him.

 

Johanna sighed and looked at the large projector screens for the last time, all the tributes were looking for shelter or setting in at their camp now, Katniss would be safe with the girl from Eleven. She looked back at the retreating figure of Haymitch.

 

“Hey, wait up. We can share a taxi back and you can tell me all about your lustrous hair care routine.” Haymitch paused and turned round to stare at Johanna.

“It’s about time you asked for help, your hair might be a bit beyond me at this point though.” Haymitch said grinning. “Let’s get back and I’ll ask Effie to help you.”

“You wouldn’t.” Johanna said uneasily, unsure as to whether Haymitch would take the joke that far.

“Come on Mason, let’s get back.” Haymitch said, swinging an arm around Johanna’s shoulders only to be promptly shaken off and punched in the arm for his trouble. “Hey! I’ve seen Blight do that.” He said rubbing his arm.

“Yeah well, I like Blight.” Johanna quipped as she followed Haymitch; she turned and took one last lingering look at the large screens showing Katniss unconscious before Haymitch dragged her forward again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought the whole Games would be one, maybe two chapters, but Johanna is just much more angsty and in her head than I anticipated. Although I didn't know where to end this so maybe it will only be one more chapter of the Games...  
> Let me know what you think, it’s kind of odd writing action from a third person perspective.


	13. Chapter 13

Johanna was banging on the door to the living quarters assigned to district Twelve for ten minutes before a dishevelled looking Haymitch finally opened them, glaring at her in annoyance.

 

“When I said ‘I’ll see you in the morning’ I thought you’d let the sun actually rise before breaking down my door.” Johanna ignored Haymitch’s grumbling and rushed past to where the projector screen was, quickly turning it on. Haymitch sighed and shuffled over to the kitchen area. “There isn’t even any coffee!” Haymitch glances at Johanna in disgust. “You’re here before the avoxes.”

“Make your own damn coffee. And get dressed!” Johanna called to Haymitch’s retreating back.

 

Johanna watched the projector screen with growing trepidation while Haymitch all too slowly woke himself up and got ready to leave. They barely showed anything of Katniss on the regular footage for the Games, something that was probably good, it showed they didn’t think she was going to be killed soon after all. But every time the screen flickered onto Katniss lying there, sometimes with the girl from Eleven nearby, sometimes alone, Johanna’s heart would clench and she couldn’t bear the following minutes and hours until they showed her Katniss again, safe and alive. After one long period, where the screen focused on a particularly bloody fight between two other tributes, and hadn’t shown Katniss for almost two hours Johanna had had enough and marched into Haymitch’s room to find him sprawled on his bed. Johanna grabbed his shirt and pulled him off the bed and onto the floor, Haymitch grabbed at Johanna’s arm with one hand and tried to use her to pull himself upright but Johanna was ready for him and twisted his wrists until he was forced to let go, leaning her weight onto them until Haymitch was unable to fight back.

 

“What in Panem’s name are you doing?” Haymitch managed to get out as he struggled to pull away from Johanna’s grip.

“We’re going to the Circle _now,_ even if I have to drag you every step of the way there.” Johanna hissed from her position on top of Haymitch, pinning him to the floor.

“If this is the way you wake people Katniss is in for quite a shock.” Haymitch commented, looking meaningfully at how the two of them were positioned, Johanna rolled her eyes and leaned in closer to Haymitch whose eyes grew wide.

“Just be glad I didn’t use my axes. You’d be so much easier to carry if there was less of you.” Johanna whispered low and threateningly.

 

Johanna moved from Haymitch, kneeing him in the stomach in the process, and left the room with a pointed look at his clothes. Minutes later the mentor from Twelve was dressed and leaning against the door, grousing under his breath. The two of them left the building in silence and went in search of a vehicle to take them to the Circle.

 

“By the way, you were an embarrassment back there. Have you trained at all since your Games?” Johanna asked as they got into the taxi.

“What’s the point? Aside from fending off amorous victors from Seven I’m not going to have to fight again. And unlike you I don’t need to throw an axe at a tree for an hour to keep my temper under control.”

“No, you just drink until you pass out.” Johanna retorted, annoyed.

“Ah the broken victors of the Capitol, wouldn’t our districts be proud of us now?” Haymitch mockingly returned.

 

As soon as they reached the Circle Johanna quickly zeroed in on the array of projection screens in the centre and breathed a sigh of relief as she found one that was showing Katniss who was still lying safe-well, as safe as she could be-in the care of the girl from Eleven. Johanna kept her eyes on the screen showing Katniss, drinking in the younger girl’s features and examining her for any signs of improvement since she was stung. Haymitch let out a put-upon sigh and steered the distracted Johanna to a table on the outskirts of the Circle. Once seated Haymitch called a waiter over and ordered the two of them drinks, then studied Johanna while she watched the screen.

 

“Did Blight leave?” Johanna almost jumped at the sudden disruption of her watching Katniss on the screen Haymitch speaking had caused.

“Yeah, he left a note saying he was going to Seven and that I should join him.” Johanna answered nonchalantly, glancing over at Haymitch’s contemplative face.

“You didn’t want to tell him about this, maybe have someone to talk to who you trust?”

“I don’t trust anyone.” Johanna turned her attention from the screens to glare at Haymitch. “You think you know about this, but you don’t. And if you mention it to anyone-”

“Yeah, I know. Axe to the face.” Haymitch interrupted flatly. “You really need to get some new threats.” Johanna glared at the older man as he sipped from his drink and took in the newcomers to the Circle.

 

Johanna ignored Haymitch in favour of watching the screens; she was absorbed in the screen showing Katniss, there were enough different monitors in the Circle to show each tribute from multiple angles simultaneously but as Katniss was still unconscious she was only shown on one of the smaller projector screens. Johanna ached to see Katniss so vulnerable and exposed in the Arena. The two victors watched the events in silence, neither paying much attention to the other but Johanna noticed, to her surprise that after a few glasses of his usual fare Haymitch switched to non-alcoholic drinks. 

 

“I’m going to go…” Haymitch shook his now empty glass. “Mingle. You stay here.” Johanna rolled her eyes at that.

“I wouldn’t want to make small talk with the Capitol residents anyway.” Johanna replied disdainfully as she watched Haymitch walk away and find another table of Capitol citizens who were more than happy to sit with a victor, and Johanna once again lost herself in Katniss Everdeen.

 

“Did you get anyone to sponsor her?” Johanna asked as soon as Haymitch walked back over to the table she was still sitting at.

“She was stung by trackerjackers Johanna, she’s going to be out of it for a while.”

“All the more reason to send her something then.” Johanna said evenly, watching Haymitch for any sign that he

“She’s unconscious-”

“Send it to Rue then!” Johanna shouted at Haymitch who took a furtive glance around to see if anyone had noticed Johanna’s uproar.  

“I am not the enemy here Johanna. She is my tribute; I’m going to do everything I can to keep her alive in there. But trust me that now is not the time to waste any of the goodwill I have been building with potential sponsors.” Haymitch stated quietly to the irate mentor.

“What were you doing talking to them if you didn’t get anything that will help her!?”

“This may be hard for you to understand but it’s easier to get something from someone if you put a little time in beforehand, maybe, I don’t know, make them think that you like them. Make them think that you don’t just want their money and are going to sneak out on them in the morning like a cheap whore.”

“We’re all whores for the Capitol Haymitch, you know that by now.” Johanna answered bleakly watching Haymitch as his shoulders slumped and he moved tentatively towards Johanna.

 

* * *

 

 

The next day Katniss was still unconscious, Haymitch had answered the door to Johanna’s frantic knocking and got dressed to go down to the Circle without comment, which only increased the anxiety Johanna felt about Katniss’s condition. Rue had been taking care of the girl from Twelve, she had changed the leaf dressings on Katniss’s stings and had carefully poured water onto her lips and got her to drink a little, but Johanna knew that staying still in the Arena for so long would increase the likelihood that they would be found by another tribute. And as helpful as Rue had been in tending to Katniss Johanna didn’t think the small girl would be able to hold her own in a fight against the other tributes still alive in the Arena. It would be stupid of her to try, her best hope would be to run and hope they stayed to finish off the unconscious Katniss rather than chase after her.

 

Johanna felt what little hope she had managed to maintain that Katniss would survive this waver, and the fear that she had been trying her best to ignore rose up and threatened to consume her. She looked at the screen showing the girl from Twelve and her heart clenched with how small Katniss looked. When she had met her -or even seen her on the projector screens before, Katniss, for all of her awkwardness in being centre of attention, always looked like she was ready to fight. But now, with Katniss unconscious in the Arena every hope Johanna had had about her winning the Games was slipping away.

 

Johanna sat in the Circle with Haymitch and fought against the overwhelming swell of hopelessness that was intensifying every time she saw Katniss lying on the ground; she scanned the crowd, looking for something to occupy her mind, when she saw the mentors from Eleven. Johanna jumped up from her seat, causing Haymitch to look over at her in surprise; he followed her line of sight and let out a quiet groan.

 

“Johanna they’re not going to be able to help any more than I am. Katniss has a chance for sponsors when she wakes, but no one is betting on the little girl from Eleven, even if she has a conscious Katniss as an ally.”

 

Johanna glances at Haymitch and the desperate hollow look in her eyes stopped him from interfering further and he just watched as she walked over towards where Chaff and Seeder were sitting and sat down at their table with a sardonic smile for Chaff who appraised her leeringly. 

“So what do you think for Rue’s odds? She’s lasted pretty well in the Arena so far.” Johanna tries to feign nonchalance to bely the heart beating thunderously in her chest, praying for the mentors from Eleven to give her something concrete, something to give her hope that the small girl from Eleven could protect Katniss in her current state, but Chaff brushes her off almost immediately.

“That girl has no chance. Thresh though, thresh could win.” He says watching his tribute on the screen with a proud look. Johanna blanches at that but quickly turns to Seeder; the old woman is watching the Games with an air of detached interest.

“What about you Seeder, what do you think of her odds?”

“May the odds be forever in your favour.” Seeder says immediately, nodding at Johanna.

“Yes.” Johanna rolls her eyes; this was going to be almost as bad as trying to have a conversation with Mags. “But what do you know about Rue? Any other skills she has that could help her in the Games?”

“I’ve known that child all her life, she’s a good seed, can climb a tree faster than folk twice her age. Never was afraid of being above the ground. Now her father, he was never one for heights when his wife went into labour he was back at the top end and the fastest way down from there was-”

“Yes, but how is _Rue_?” Johanna interrupted impatiently.

“Rue? She’s in the Arena, didn’t you know?”

“I know that.” Johanna says, grinding her teeth and attempting to keep her temper under control, “How would Rue behave while she’s in the Arena, what would she do if she found herself against another tribute?”

“Well, she has the girl from Twelve now, Rue is a very good judge of character the girl must have something special she would never ally herself with just anyone.” Johanna half-heartedly listened to Seeder talk about how Katniss had improved Rue’s chances at survival with a sinking feeling in her chest.

“So… I’m guessing you never told Katniss about this?” Haymitch asked after a disheartened Johanna gave up on trying to talk to the victors from Eleven and returned to the table he was at.

“What makes you say that?”

“I knew there was something between the two of you… I suspected it might be this, you were always silent on the subject of marks when the rest of us victors would get together and talk about how the Capitol had ruined our lives over copious amounts of alcohol. I wasn’t sure if you had lost your soulmate or just didn’t know if you would ever find them.” Haymitch examined Johanna’s expression. “I’m guessing you’re wishing one of those were true right about now.

“No. I’m glad to have found her, even if it’s like this, even if… if this is all there is.” Johanna answered decisively, staring at Haymitch who looked away uncomfortable.

“Well, maybe you need to start telling yourself that more. This pining and being constantly ready to… to do I don’t even want to imagine what, I’m just glad you don’t bring your axes with you.” Haymitch notices Johanna’s shifty look and lets out a surprised huff. “You do bring them don’t you? Well that’s just great, next time you look like you’re going to take a Capitol citizens head off for bringing up Katniss I’m going to let you.” Haymitch shakes his head “This is exactly what I mean; this isn’t doing you any favours. I mean, are you even sleeping? Because you look like shit by the way.”

“What exactly do you expect me to do?” Johanna growled at Haymitch. “What can I do?” Johanna said quieter, more to herself as she stared at the image of Katniss being projected to the world.

 

* * *

 

Johanna barely managed to make it through the days Katniss was unconscious in the Arena, Haymitch had succumbed to Johanna’s pleas and had attempted to gain a sponsor for Katniss but as he predicted no one was keen to pay money for a girl poisoned by trackerjacker venom who had no guarantee of waking up -or of being in any condition to fight if she did wake. Johanna and Haymitch were in the Circle together when Haymitch’s attention was quickly moved to the screen showing Katniss after Johanna clutched at his arm in a vicelike grip. Katniss was quick to come round and showed no sign of any long-lasting injuries due to the trackerjacker venom, much to Johanna’s relief. 

 

Katniss and Rue were quickly brought to one of the larger projection screens where the crowd gasped when they saw her skill with a bow and cooed at how the two tributes worked together, looking out for one another. Without Haymitch keeping a heavy hand on her shoulder Johanna knew she would have done something after she heard the second Capitol citizen fuss over how the Games brought different districts together and made everyone an equal. But while Katniss was now awake the general consensus with the crowd was still on one of the careers to win, Johanna frowned and tried to work out a way that she and Haymitch could make Katniss seem more desirable for the potential sponsors when Katniss did it herself.

 

Johanna thought the days of straining to hear what was happening on Katniss’s screen, trying to hear the girl over the voices and screams of the other audio streams from the other tributes in the Arena had caused her to mishear. But no, Katniss and Rue had decided to actively target what was left of the career pack.

 

“Let’s see them be hungry for once.” Katniss had smiled at the younger girl when she said it, she seemed confident they could pull this off. But once again Johanna felt the strain of being separated from Katniss and unable to help, and the hypocrisy that ordinarily this would be what she would do, or would applaud a tribute for doing but in this case all she felt was that it would put Katniss in unnecessary danger.

 

Johanna watched the events unfold, her heart beating frantically in her chest as Katniss crept towards the careers territory and watched the redheaded girl from Five avoid the pressure sensors buried around the food stash. Then Katniss emerged from cover and nocks an arrow, Johanna wonders what her plan is, shooting the stash of food is unlikely to do anything, and an arrow might not be enough to set off the pressure sensors. Then the arrow is in flight and it whistles past a bag of apples and Johanna can’t help the grin that takes over her face as she realises Katniss’s plan. The second arrow hits its mark and the apples fall as if in slow motion, bouncing along the ground until one lands on a pressure pad and the resulting explosion throws Katniss to the ground. Johanna glances at the other screens and sees the noise has alerted Cato and Marvel who are quickly making their way back to their base, Katniss is still on the ground when the careers return, one screen showing a close up of her face and the way her eyes widen when she sees Cato kill the boy from Three who was supposed to be guarding the stash. The sight spurs Katniss to drag herself up and she starts running, but her balance is off again, Johanna can tell something’s wrong with the girl. Johanna watches Katniss worriedly as she flees the career’s territory and only realises once Katniss is deeper in the woods looking for Rue that she was holding her breath.

 

Johanna kept an eye on the screens showing the careers as Katniss made her escape and wandered amongst the trees calling for Rue, she saw Marvel follow Katniss into the woods but he wasn’t used to tracking and he soon lost Katniss’s trail. Johanna’s heart felt a little lighter as she thought Katniss had managed to escape unharmed after her risky stunt, and had succeeded in levelling the playing field between herself and the career pack as well as drawing attention to her from the Capitol sponsors when she saw that Marvel while ineffective in searching for Katniss had come across Rue. Rue saw the boy just in time and screamed for Katniss who took off running towards the girl from Eleven, Johanna’s stomach rolled and she felt her heart bottom out of her chest when Katniss emerged into the clearing in time to see Marvel throw a spear at Rue. Katniss nocked an arrow and it flew towards Marvel faster than Johanna thought possible, she watched with satisfaction as the arrow buried itself in Marvel’s throat, thanking all the gods she knew that he hadn’t hurt Katniss.

 

Then Johanna looked at the screen showing Katniss who was holding a dying Rue in her arms and singing to the girl, Johanna ached at the pain and sorrow clear on Katniss’s face, she wished she could spare the girl from the pain she would have to go through as she advanced through the Games. From what she would feel when she came out of the Arena and all that was left of the tributes that were in her Games would be the memories of their screams and the dreams of their last moments replayed over and over again. Eventually Katniss stopped singing and laid the girl down gently on the ground she started picking wildflowers that were nearby and laid them all around the girl from Eleven, creating a shrine for the girl, showing the Capitol the fallen tributes were still people, even in death. Johanna looked around at the people in the Circle; all eyes had been on the screen showing Katniss. Even when the game makers had switched her to one of the smaller screens as she covered Rue with flowers no one had been able to tear their gaze from the girl from Twelve, following her as she turned and gave the three finger salute common in Twelve and turned to walk alone into the woods.

 

Katniss had just camped down for the night in a tree when a parachute slowly descended, landing close to where she was sitting. Katniss warily checked the area and watched the gift for a while before retrieving it, revealing a loaf of bread.

 

“Did you send her that?” Johanna asks confused as to why Haymitch would send something as innocuous as bread to Katniss at this stage in the Games.

“Oh, well that is interesting…” Haymitch murmured to himself and looked over to where Chaff and Seeder were sitting, both of whom looked agitated and uncomfortable. A barrier of peacekeepers, which were an unusual sight in the Circle, kept the typical consolatory Capitol viewers from talking to the victors. Johanna just raised her eyebrow at Haymitch and sighed when he didn’t elaborate, going back to watching Katniss, grateful for whoever had sent the bread to her who had allowed her to go to sleep with food in her belly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: Oh Katniss is unconscious for two days that won’t have many words. 2000+ words later. Well, damn. So this is where I remember my aptitude for bullshitting during essay writing, I could probably do with ruthlessly editing my chapters –or maybe rereading them after writing but checking things was never really my style. So, sorry folks.


	14. Chapter 14

Johanna and Haymitch had fallen into a routine by the sixth day of the Games, neither felt the need to speak when Johanna knocked on Haymitch’s door or on their journey to the Circle, and they would sit in companionable silence for the most part as Johanna watched Katniss and Haymitch took in the events of the Games. However that didn’t mean Johanna felt Haymitch was completely on Katniss’s side, she still didn’t think the victor from Twelve was doing all he could for Katniss but she knew she couldn’t do anything personally which is why when Haymitch abruptly rose from the table and left the Circle Johanna was suspicious.

 

“Where did you go off to?” Johanna eyed Haymitch distrustfully when he returned to their table.

“Just had a little chat with Seneca Crane.”

“Why would you talk to him?” Johanna frowns in disgust.

“We agreed I should deal with the strategy here, didn’t we?” Haymitch asked raising his eyebrows confidently, knowing the answer. Johanna rolled her eyes at that then paused.

“What did you do?” She asked tensely.

“I gave them something they’ve never had before.” Haymitch says, annoyingly cryptic. Johanna fixes him with a glare but he just signals for another drink and ignores her.

 

The screens showing the Games flashed briefly, a banner rolling across the bottom heralding an announcement. Johanna frowned, there was usually only an announcement when there was a sudden death of a favourite, or there were only two tributes left and the Game makers were going to do something to cause an encounter between them. There were still six tributes left at this stage and none of them were near enough to each other for the Game makers to think a favourite would die. Not that there really was a favourite at this stage Johanna mused, thinking about who was left in the Games aside from Katniss. Just then a booming voice from the speakers cut off her thoughts, announcing that two tributes from the same district could now win the Games jointly.

 

Johanna was still watching Katniss throughout the announcement and she hears the girl gasp out “Peeta.” Before starting back in the direction she came from, looking for the blonde boy from her district. Johanna’s heart lurches at the thought that Katniss cares enough for him to look for him then immediately chastises herself for thinking that way, just because she’s going to find him doesn’t mean she cares about him Johanna chants in her head, trying to convince herself. She turns to stare at Haymitch in disbelief who looks maddeningly smug.

 

“You did this didn’t you?”

“Look, apart from Twelve only Two has two tributes left, and they’re hunting in their pack anyway, trying to take out everyone left, if Katniss and Peeta can work together they’ll have an advantage.”

“You want the boy to survive!” Johanna shouts accusingly.

“Yes, I do. Is that a surprise to you?” Haymitch asks in mock amazement. “Did you think I was fine with watching children I brought from my district die?”

“It never seemed to bother you before.” Johanna snarks back, then regrets it when Haymitch turns to stare at her, his eyes hollow, anger and pain the only things in their depths.

“Maybe I wasn’t a very good mentor before, but I’ve had twenty-four years of training children to survive in the Arena only to watch them die over and over again. What’s your excuse? Your Games was only three years ago yet you’ve always been this distanced from the kids you’re supposed to mentor. Hell, did you even try this year? Or did you tell them to run to the Cornucopia because you knew it would give Katniss better odds?”

 

Johanna stared at Haymitch, her hands balling into fists at her sides and she struggled to control the urge to punch the older victor. Johanna eyed the peacekeepers who were still stationed in the Circle, mostly around Chaff and Seeder, and let out a frustrated scream before spinning around and storming away from Haymitch. A few of the Capitol citizens turned to look at her as she made her way to another table in the Circle.

“What?” Johanna shot out cuttingly, causing them all to hurriedly look away. Johanna found another table and sat down, glaring at everyone who dared to make eye contact with her until she felt safe enough to focus back on Katniss.

 

Katniss had made quick progress back to where she had last seen the careers and Peeta, she was tracking blood by the stream when a hand grabbed her from seemingly out of nowhere, Johanna’s heart froze in her chest as Katniss stumbled, thinking this was something the Game makers had cooked up. But the hand belonged to the bread boy, he had disguised himself using god knows what to blend in among the rocks and branches and stay hidden from everyone. Katniss helped him unearth himself and hugged the blonde boy, Johanna’s heart thawed only to clench painfully as she watched Katniss embrace the boy who had saved her in the Arena and claimed to love her. Although Johanna supposed she should thank the boy, at least now Katniss had an ally who wouldn’t be pressured into stabbing her in the back when the Games neared their end.

 

Johanna had changed her mind, she didn’t want to thank bread boy for being there to watch out for Katniss, she wanted to kill him. Peeta was no good for Katniss, Johanna had known it all along really, this was why she didn’t agree with what Haymitch had done when he convinced the Game makers to change the rules. The boy was injured and now Katniss was stuck caring for him, she had looked so goddamned _worried_ when she found that little shit by that river. Right now she wishes it had been some sort of living ground monster who had grabbed Katniss instead of the baker boy, then Johanna would only have had to worry during Katniss’s fight or escape from it instead of being in a continuous state of dread as she watched Katniss fuss around the blonde tribute and the longing looks Pitta bread was throwing her way.

 

Johanna watched as the two tributes from Twelve grew closer in the cave, Katniss was looking after the boy like she genuinely cared about him, and everyone in Panem knew how he felt about her. All this left Johanna feeling empty and unsure about where she and Katniss stood, they were soulmates, Johanna _knew_ they were. There was no way there was another Katniss out there who could make her feel like she did for the tribute from Twelve. Hell, there was no way there was any other person who could make her feel like this. But what had they actually said to each other? Some half whispered promises that maybe didn’t mean what she thought since the girl had been going into the Arena and the odds of her coming out again were so slim Johanna hadn’t wanted to think too much about the future. Johanna had never controlled her emotions as much as she had during these Games, she felt like screaming but all she could do was watch the screens and hope Katniss would make it out and they would be together.

 

They were talking about their old lives, how he had saved her already when she was young and starving and alone. Johanna felt the niggle of doubt that had become her constant since Katniss had found Peeta take root and unfurl further inside her, and then they kissed and Johanna felt her stomach turn. Johanna consoled herself with the knowledge that that kiss was nothing near the ones she and Katniss had shared outside of Snow’s mansion. This was all a strategy she knew, Haymitch had said as much before after the interviews and when Haymitch said he would give the Capitol something they’d never seen before. The beeping of a gift disturbed the silence of the cave, once Katniss had retrieved the parachute she looked at the note in the gift and then her stared to the side, her face strangely blank. Johanna cursed the fact that she had left Haymitch’s table and didn’t know what had been written on the note.

 

Katniss returned to the cave and fed Peeta the soup; she brushed the blonde’s hair back from his forehead and ran her hands gently over Pitta’s injured leg. Johanna felt her blood run cold, this had to be part of the strategy to win. Johanna knew there had to be a reason for this, but she couldn’t think past the sight of Katniss looking at Pitta like that, feeding him, touching him. Johanna clenched her eyes shut but the image of Katniss touching him, of that kiss they had shared before was burned into her eyelids. Johanna looked around for Haymitch and saw him still at the usual table, he raised his glass to her, Johanna ground her teeth and stood up abruptly, making her way towards the older victor.

 

“What did you write on that note to Katniss when you sent her the soup?” Johanna asked Haymitch angrily once she made it to his table.

“And hello to you too, sunshine.” Haymitch said taking a drink as he stared up at the angry brunette.

“Haymitch.” Johanna growled out in warning, Haymitch raises his hands placating the angry brunette.

“You’re too close to this Johanna, you can’t think clearly about this year’s Games.”

“What is there to think about? I want to keep her alive.”

“And so do I. So does Peeta.” Johanna grits her jaw at that, fists clenching and unclenching. Haymitch eyes her warily. “You saw how everyone reacted when she kissed him.” Johanna growls at that and Haymitch backs up. “Okay, bad example, bad example. But you saw the reaction when they were together. This makes them stand out; this is something none of the other Games have had. You have to play to the crowd Johanna, a few scrapes and bruises are nothing but a backdrop to these people. You need to look at the bigger picture.”

“Wow. I never realised how much you belong here before.” Johanna says to Haymitch her voice low and dangerous.

“Thanks, darlin’.”

“That wasn’t a compliment.”

“I know.” Haymitch smiled smugly at her. “But you’ll be glad I’m here when our girl comes out of that Arena alive.”

 

Another announcement suddenly flashed across the projector screens as the voice echoed in the Arena informing the tributes of a feast being held at the cornucopia which would have what each tribute needed. Johanna knew this was a ploy on the Game makers parts to get the tributes back fighting each other, Cato was at a disadvantage with Katniss and her bow and he knew it, and the tributes from Twelve were both hiding and likely to stay that way. Katniss looked at Peeta lying in the cave, his fever still climbing and his leg practically useless and Johanna willed the girl not to go even as Peeta spoke the same words aloud. Katniss tells the blonde boy she’s going and kisses Peeta fully, it seems as though time stops for Johanna, she’s caught in an endless loop watching Katniss kissing Peeta like she means it. Like every moment in that cave wasn’t for the cameras, like she was telling the truth when she told him she loved him.

 

The crowd were on tenterhooks, engrossed in the action on the screen, watching as if they hadn’t all seen this girl in the flesh a few days ago, as if she wasn’t anything more than a character to die for their amusement. And here was something they hadn’t had the chance to see in the Games before; here were the beginnings of a love story. If Johanna thought about it logically she would admit that it was genius on Haymitch’s part, everyone was talking about Katniss and Peeta, Cato and some of the other favourites for the Games were still alive but that didn’t matter to the Capitol viewers. Of course Johanna rarely thought about it logically, or when she did she was quickly overcome with the anger she felt with the baker boy being able to be with Katniss, even though they were currently in the Arena and had a high risk of dying. Or of how everyone thought Katniss should be with _him_ made her feel.

 

Katniss got to the cornucopia shortly before the timer went off and took cover, watching for any other tributes near the cornucopia, as soon as the timer goes the redheaded girl from Five immediately jumped out of the cornucopia taking her bag and running off into the woods. Johanna watched her flee, nerves mounting. Katniss started running towards the bag with the number twelve on it but Clove throws a knife at her, Katniss dodges getting away with a cut but the girl from Two tackles her. The two tributes are clawing and struggling to get on top, Clove holds a knife to Katniss’s throat and Johanna’s heart stops beating, unable to look away from the screen showing Katniss. Clove knows she has Katniss beat, she starts monologuing about Peeta and Rue and Johanna would ordinarily roll her eyes at such practices in the Arena but all she can think about is how close the blade is to Katniss’s throat and the wide eyes of the girl from Twelve as she attempts to pull Clove’s arm down and move the knife away from her skin.

 

Just when Johanna thinks it will all be over Thresh appears, furious with the girl from Two over what he heard, he easily kills Clove and Katniss drops to the floor gasping for air. Thresh stares at her and Johanna’s heart starts beating again in double time but Thresh leaves Katniss on the floor, backing away, to the surprise of Johanna and Katniss.

 

“For Rue.” Thresh calls back over his shoulder. As he left Johanna was so grateful for the girl from Eleven for saving Katniss again.

 

Johanna watched as Katniss returned to Peeta and gave him the medicine she risked her life for; Peeta stroked her hair and gently rubbed the salve onto the cut on her forehead, staring at her lovingly. Johanna blew out a harsh breath and closed her eyes, trying to avoid thinking about what was happening with her soulmate right in front of her eyes. Katniss falls asleep in Peeta’s arms and Johanna goes back to her quarters feeling numb, people spoke to her as she left the Circle but she couldn’t hear anything they said. Once in the living area in her quarters she looked at the projector screen, contemplating whether to turn it on. Johanna knew what she’d see on it, they would be asleep and no one knew where their cave was so they’d be safe until morning. But Johanna couldn’t make herself move towards the bedroom and instead turned on the set, moving over to the well-stocked drinks cabinet and sitting down on the sofa, watching Katniss lie in another’s arms. Johanna only realised she had stayed up all night when the ‘window’ projector in the living area started showing the first tendrils of dawn colouring the sky with soft oranges. Johanna stared at the sight blearily before looking down at the empty bottles in front of her and the screen flicked back to Peeta still cradling Katniss as they slept in the cave.

 

Johanna doesn’t bother changing clothes or eating before she left the rooms and went back to the Circle. She considered staying home and continuing to drink in peace but it was routine now and Johanna still wanted to make sure she could always see Katniss during the Games, no matter what the screens would show. Johanna got to the Circle before Katniss and Peeta were awake and sat down to watch the tributes at her usual table.

 

“You didn’t come to pick me up, are we not going steady anymore?” Johanna jerked at the sound of Haymitch’s voice; she looked at him confusedly wondering how he had managed to appear next to her without her noticing. “Shit, Johanna did you stay up all night drinking?” Haymitch asked concern

“Good guess.” Johanna answered back dully. She vaguely heard Haymitch say something else to her, or maybe it was to someone else.

 

Johanna still felt disconnected from everything around her, numb. The only thing that she could focus on was Katniss. Eventually the two tributes finally leave the cave; they look for food, Katniss going hunting leaving Peeta to gather edible plants. Like usual Johanna is watching Katniss’s screen so when the canon fires signalling someone’s death she assumes it’s Peeta too, he has no real survival skills, can’t read the forest like Katniss and Cato would be wanting to get rid of the tributes from Twelve now that Clove was dead. Johanna’s eyes scan the screens as Katniss runs back to where she left Peeta.

 

“That’s nightlock Peeta!” Johanna sees the dead tribute from Five on a projection screen at the same time she hears Katniss scream out.

 

Johanna’s eyes flick back to Katniss and she watches her knock the innocent looking berries from the blonde boy’s hand. Katniss is crying, she’s clearly worried about the boy and once again Johanna’s stomach twists from watching their interactions, unsure where they stand with each other.

 

Another canon blast signalled that there were three tributes left, Johanna left the screen showing Katniss and Peeta’s embrace and saw Cato standing over Thresh’s fallen body, panting heavily and streaked with blood. Katniss and Peeta could win together meaning there only needed to be one more death in the Arena. Johanna’s nerves increased as she and everyone in the Circle realised this and the conversations around her shifted to what the Game makers would do to draw the tributes together, or pick up the pace in the Arena. Johanna didn’t have to wait too long before she found out, Katniss and Peeta were moving carefully through the trees, bow drawn and arrow nocked when suddenly a Muttation attacked Peeta, he and Katniss ran from the huge dog like creatures. Johanna let out a gasp when one red furred muttation looked at a camera and the eyes staring at her through the screen were Willow’s. Johanna thought of the small urn Blight had taken back to Willow’s family in Seven and her worry over Katniss’s survival bled back into Johanna’s usual emotional state during the Games, anger at the Capitol and now disgust that they couldn’t even respect the dead bodies of the tributes.

 

Katniss and Peeta reached the cornucopia and the two scrambled up out of reach of the muttations Johanna felt herself relax slightly when she saw the muttations were unable to jump onto the cornucopia but that was quickly erased when Cato knocks Katniss to the floor. Katniss rolls to the side and scrambles up, hitting out at Cato and trying to draw her bow. Cato lunges at her again knocking Katniss onto her back, he presses her down with his body weight, his hands wrapping around her throat. Johanna’s heart races as she watches Katniss struggle to pull away from Cato, her feet kicking the roof of the cornucopia uselessly. Finally Peeta jumps onto Cato’s back and the two boys are scrabbling for purchase on the top of the cornucopia as they wrestle and punch each other. Katniss has her bow drawn but the two are constantly moving, Johanna is clenching her fists hard enough for her nails to draw blood willing her to just shoot both of them and be done with it, be safe and out of the Arena. But Johanna knows Katniss wouldn’t do that and Cato gains the upper hand in his fight, and holds onto Peeta, fright marring his features as he uses him as a shield to prevent Katniss from killing him.

 

“Go on, shoot. Then we both go down and you win. I’m dead anyway. I always was right? I just didn’t know it until now.” Cato shouts to Katniss as he holds a struggling Peeta. “No. I can still do this. One more kill, that’s all I know how to do. Bringing pride to my district, not that it matters.”

 

Katniss lets the arrow fly and Johanna is surprised she went with Cato’s plan and decided to take down both of the boys at once, but the arrow hits Cato’s hand and Peeta uses his distraction to get away from Cato and push him from the cornucopia, down to the muttations below. Cato’s screams fill the Circle and most of the projector screens show the boy from Two being ripped apart by the mutts, Johanna grimaces at the sight until an arrow flies onto the screen, landing in Cato’s throat, silencing his screams. The cannon fires for the death and Johanna looks over to Haymitch smiling broadly, expecting to see Haymitch as happy as she was only to find the victor from Twelve seemed indifferent to the result.

 

“It’s not over until they announce it.” Haymitch said after he noticed Johanna’s questioning look.

“What? They’re the only ones left; they said two could win if they’re from the same district.”

“Then why haven’t they announced them as the victors?” Haymitch replied and Johanna looked worriedly back to the screens.

 

Johanna sighed in relief when she heard the tell-tale crackle marking the start of an announcement to be broadcast in the Arena, and she waited to hear Crane name Katniss and Peeta as the victors. But the broadcast didn’t name them winners; it said the rule allowing two victors had been rescinded. The crowd in the Circle all gasped and chattered excitedly with one another but Johanna couldn’t focus on anything other than the screens showing Katniss and the dread in the pit of her stomach came back heavier than before. Johanna felt a rush of adrenaline as she watched Katniss raise her bow and aim it at Peeta, thankful that the girl had a range weapon and wouldn’t have to fight the stronger blonde boy hand to hand.

 

Katniss doesn’t release the arrow, Johanna watches the emotions flicker on her face as she aims at the boy she has spent the last few days caring for and fighting alongside, she knows what it’s like to kill in the Arena but she never made friends with anyone in there. Johanna wills Katniss to let loose the arrow, she is so close to seeing Katniss outside the Arena again and there’s nothing else the two can do in there, Katniss must know that.

 

“Go ahead.” Peeta says and Johanna lets out a breath in relief that the baker boy won’t make this harder than it has to be.

“No.” Katniss says as she lowers her bow. Johanna feels her heart drop and everyone in the Circle gasp as Katniss brings out the nightlock berries she had kept.

“Together?” Peeta questions, understanding Katniss’s plan before Johanna does.

“Together.” Katniss says as she pours half the berries into Peeta’s hand and the two stare into each other’s eyes.

“One.” Peeta says shakily.

“No…” Johanna lets out softly, staring at the screen, unable to believe that it was going to end like this.

“Two.” Johanna flinched at the sound of Katniss’s voice and felt Haymitch’s hand grip onto her shoulder tight enough to bruise but she ignored it, unable to look away from the screen.

“Three.”

 “Stop, stop!” The speaker system in the Arena cut through the quiet of the Circle, everyone holding their breath as one and Katniss and Peeta paused their movements, both still holding onto their berries. “Ladies and gentlemen, may I please present the winners of the 74th annual Hunger Games.”

 

Johanna couldn’t believe it, they had won, she had won. Katniss was alive and coming out of the Arena. Johanna looked over to Haymitch who was grinning from ear to ear, Haymitch made a move as if he was going to release Johanna’s shoulder but instead he pulled the shorter brunette into a hug. Johanna was so elated she didn’t fight the physical contact and instead hugged the older victor tighter, feeling his laugh vibrate against her as they embraced. Johanna pulled away from Haymitch and noticed the celebration happening around the rest of the Circle, Capitol citizens laughing and cheering for the victors, everyone calling for drinks to celebrate the survival of the tributes from Twelve. Watching them revel in what had happened brought back the anger that Johanna had felt during the Games, the fury that they had done this to her soulmate and nearly killed her for their entertainment.

 

“Hey, Jo.” Haymitch cut through Johanna’s thoughts, “Let’s go get our girl.” Haymitch said as he looked at Johanna, still grinning. Johanna nodded and felt her own face stretch into a smile again as she thought about finally getting to see Katniss face to face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaand we've finally finished with the Games! Coming up is some actual Johanna/Katniss interaction, which has been few and far between in this fic I know. 
> 
> Rewatching the Hunger Games in order to write this made me feel so sorry for Cato during his last speech to Katniss, they put a different spin on the Games in One and Two, they're much better off than the outlying districts and most of them are volunteers who've been training for this for most of their lives. And then they're in the Arena and his friends are killed, and sure he kills people too but what else can he do, that's all he knows and all they probably ever told him he could do. Anyway yes, had to get that off my chest, don't worry I've not gone pro-Capitol or anything.


	15. Chapter 15

By the time Haymitch and Johanna had got to the site of the Arena Katniss and Peeta had been rushed to medical, Johanna didn’t say anything as she followed Haymitch along the corridors, the two got a few strange looks from the Capitol workers in the medical base but Johanna couldn’t care less what they thought about her visiting the victors from Twelve and Haymitch knew better than to suggest she didn’t come.

 

Johanna and Haymitch had been instructed to wait in a large room that also held a few of the Capitol’s elite, all excitedly talking about the recent Games. Finally Katniss walked through the doors and Johanna moved to go to her but was immediately blocked by the crowd of Capitol stylists and media who leapt on the two victors asking questions about the Games and how they felt, looking for something to broadcast over the projector screens. Johanna noticed Effie Trinket in the group of Capitol citizens, she had missed her before, just scanning the obviously Capitol residents and marking them all as the same. Effie was flitting around Katniss trying to field questions and make the rest of them give Katniss some space but she wasn’t having much effect.

 

Katniss looked agitated by the attention and was looking at the interviewers like a deer caught in headlights, Johanna tried in vain to catch her eye but the horde of Capitol people had circled Katniss and blocked her from view. Johanna was just about to push her way through the crowd when Peeta entered, allowing the crowd to thin slightly from around Katniss as some turned to focus on the boy. Johanna started to move towards Katniss but Katniss noticed Peeta first, she rushed to him, gathering him in a tight embrace, as Johanna watched she felt a wave of jealously threaten to suffocate her. She turned away from the couple and Haymitch who was standing beside her, watching the media circus surrounding the victors turns to Johanna.

 

“We got her home. That’s the best case scenario we could have envisioned at the start of this isn’t it?”

“Yeah…” Johanna trails off and Haymitch eyes her worriedly.

“Finding your soulmate isn’t the last chapter you know, you still have the same problems everyone else in a relationship has. People who find their soulmate just tend to work at it harder; they believe they’ve got the person most suited to them. Well maybe it’s that belief that makes them work at it, but there are millions of people who have never met their soulmate and are happy, maybe happier than they would have been otherwise.” Haymitch said looking back at Katniss and Peeta, avoiding Johanna’s eyes.

 

Johanna studies him for a while, before this year’s Games she had always written him off as ‘the drunk from Twelve’, but she was beginning to realise there was more to the older victor than she had thought. Although it’s not like Johanna was known to be friendly with other victors. Or anyone for that matter. Aside from Blight there wasn’t a single person in Seven who she could spend more than ten minutes with without getting the urge to swing her axe at their head. Haymitch almost seemed to be preparing Johanna for failure with Katniss, but she was out of the Arena now, there was nothing stopping them from being together. So it must have been Haymitch’s own experience with his soulmate that he was talking about, something she had never given much thought to but considering he had been a victor for so long he would have had the means to track his soulmate down if he wanted to.

 

“Who was your soulmate?” Johanna asked, trying to move her attention from Katniss and Peeta, who were _still_ hugging.

“It doesn’t matter.” Haymitch replied flatly, staring at the Capitol citizens trying to get more than a two word response from Katniss.

 

Eventually Haymitch convinced the Capitol media Katniss and Peeta needed to go back and rest and they reluctantly moved on, leaving only the past and current victors and Effie, who continued to fuss around Katniss and Peeta, in the room. Katniss finally met Johanna’s eyes and the two moved towards each other, Johanna saw Peeta’s confused face in her periphery and she smirked, overjoyed that everything seemed to be how it should be. Katniss flushed at Johanna’s expression, her eyes drawing down from Johanna’s eyes and fixating on the older girl’s lips.

 

Before Johanna knew it Katniss was in her arms, Johanna held her tightly against her, aware of how close she had come to losing her, to never getting to see or feel her against her again. Johanna heard the start of questions coming from Peeta before Katniss’s lips found hers and all she could focus on was the feel of the younger girl’s lips against her, of how tightly Katniss was gripping Johanna’s hips. Johanna thought that her fingers would be sure to leave bruises there and the thought caused Johanna to move one of her hands from Katniss’s back, threading her fingers through the younger girl’s hair in an effort to make them even closer.

 

“As much as I want to leave you two awkward lovebirds to what I’m sure will be a hilarious and discomforting reunion you two need to remember where we are, and what just happened.” Haymitch said, breaking the spell between the two of them.

“And will someone _please_ tell me what is going on here?!” Effie’s shrill voice broke through the quiet, jarring both Katniss and Johanna enough to pull away from each other.

 

Katniss looked embarrassed as the two took in Peeta and Effie’s faces. Peeta mainly looked sad Johanna noted, he must have known there was nothing real between them in the Arena Johanna thought with relief, but Effie looked absolutely scandalised. Johanna had to hold back a laugh as the group made their way towards the door. Johanna glared at Haymitch once they all moved from the room in the medical centre. Katniss, now conscious of everyone in the corridor, was keeping her distance from Johanna and even though Katniss was in sight Johanna felt the loss as keenly as she had when the younger girl had been in the Arena and Johanna could only view her through a projection screen. So Johanna blamed Haymitch for making her let go of Katniss, and for getting them all to move back to the new extravagant quarters that had been given to the victors of the Games for the rest of their stay in the Capitol.

 

“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget what happened.” Katniss replied to Haymitch’s earlier comment as they exited the vehicle that had taken them all to the new living quarters, her eyes haunted. The group stayed silent until they got inside the new living space, Johanna rolled her eyes at the splendour on display as soon as they made it through the door, leave it to the Capitol to think a few nice things would make everyone forget what you had had to do for them.

“They’re not happy with you Katniss, you showed them up, and they don’t take these things lightly.” Haymitch said seriously, holding Katniss in an even stare.

“I’m not very happy with them either.” Katniss replied, staring the older victor down.

“Are we all going to forget what happened back there?!” Effie interrupts in a barely contained frenzy.

“Katniss and Johanna are soulmates.” Peeta answers dully.

“What! But you two… in the Games… Peeta- ”

“It was just a trick.” Peeta looks at Katniss who was looking at him with a mixture of sympathy and shame. “Wasn’t it?” He asks softly.

“I did what I had to do.” Katniss answers, dropping her eyes from Peeta’s gaze.

“And you’d be dead without her anyway, so I don’t see why you should complain.” Johanna cut in.

“I’m not complaining.” Peeta said still staring at Katniss. “I knew… I knew she didn’t love me but in the Arena, in the cave… the lines got blurred I guess, and I just… hoped.”

“Peeta…” Katniss starts but trails off, unsure of how to continue.

“No, it’s fine, I get it. I had seen you two together anyway I kind of… suspected.”

“You did?” Katniss asks shocked.

“You did?!” Effie asks at the same time. “Well, why did no one think to inform me? Didn’t you realise this could be a public relations disaster! I could have been-”

“What? What could you have been doing?” Johanna snaps at the escort.

“Well, a lot actually-” Effie starts off irritated, glaring at Johanna who rolled her eyes at the brightly coloured woman.

“Effie you had a very important role to play, you sold our story.” Haymitch interrupted. “Everyone looked to you to see if the romance between Peeta and Katniss was real, we didn’t want them to have any reason to doubt you.”

“Well, I am actually capable of keeping a secret you know Haymitch. But, I see what you mean. I do have a reputation for being honourable.” Effie said mollified.

“Being tarred and feathered more like.” Johanna muttered eyeing Effie’s bird-like costume. Effie glared at the victor from Seven then moved onto Katniss who faltered under the escort’s gaze.

“And Katniss!” Effie cried, “You’ve found your soulmate! It’s not who we’d hoped it would be-”

“Hey!” Johanna interrupted only to be ignored.

“But you’ve found love and that is always a cause for celebration.” Effie continued, moving over to pull Katniss into an awkward hug. Katniss looked at Johanna alarmed but Johanna only grinned at her and watched the exuberant Effie squeeze Katniss. “Peeta!” Effie said releasing Katniss and turning to the boy who looked worried about what was about to come. “You may not have a soulmark, but there is someone out there who is just for you, I know it!”

“Thanks Effie.” Peeta said hesitantly.

“In fact, I can take you to meet some of my friends, oh Trixie has a daughter who you would just _adore_ , and Cake has twin girls who are about your age who would just die to meet you!” Effie exclaimed, clutching Peeta’s hands in hers.

“Aren’t we all forgetting something here?” Haymitch says, breaking the mood. “The Games never end, Johanna you know this, you were never in the limelight like the others because you refused and after your family… after what happened to your family they had nothing threaten you with. But now? If they find out about you two? It’ll be worse; Katniss and Peeta are the Capitol darlings now, the girl who was willing to die for her ‘true love’, but people like a show. The crowd that cheer for her bravery now will scream for her head if they discover they were tricked. And that may be what Snow wants, but he can’t let anyone find out he was beaten, and by a little girl from Twelve. This could so easily collapse around us.”

“I don’t remember him giving speeches before.” Johanna says, walking over to Katniss who leans into her side, much to Johanna’s delight, and the two of them watch Haymitch move agitatedly around the room.

“You’re lucky then.” Katniss replies dryly.

“This is serious Katniss,” Haymitch cuts over Johanna’s attempted response to Katniss. “You tell them you did what you had to do, that you couldn’t imagine your life without him, that you were so in love you couldn’t even conceive of a world without him in it.”

“What about Johanna?” Katniss asks, looking at the woman beside her.

“Katniss aren’t you listening? Your whole survival, your _family’s_ whole survival depends on you being a girl in love with the boy in the Arena; you have to do it this way. You’re still in the spotlight; the game never stops for you.” Katniss dropped her eyes from Johanna’s during Haymitch’s outburst and Johanna felt the same hopelessness she had felt while Katniss was in the Arena wash over her.

“What? No!” Johanna bursts out, unable to hold back the dread this plan is causing in her. 

“He’s right Johanna… Peeta and me, we need to keep up pretences.” Katniss says slowly, watching Haymitch nod along to what she was saying.

“You don’t.” Johanna says abruptly, grabbing hold of Katniss’s wrist, stopping the girl from moving away from her. “I could stay with you in Twelve, no one ever needs to know, I’ve been thinking about moving anyway it’s not like there’s anything to keep me in Seven. And I’ve always wanted to visit Twelve, I’m a huge fan of coal you know. Give them a few years and they’ll have forgotten about you, we’d just need to be careful whenever the Games role around and we have to come back to the Capitol.” Johanna rushed out almost frantically, gripping Katniss’s wrist harder.

“Johanna…” Katniss said, her grey eyes meeting Johanna’s, causing Johanna to flinch at the pain she saw in them.

“Katniss the odds were always against us, we’d never have met without the Games and the chances of us both surviving the Arena…” Johanna shakes her head and draws her gaze back to Katniss who’s staring at her like she’s trying to memorise her face. “And now, now we actually have a _chance_ and you just want to throw that away?”

“Jo… please let me think. I just… I don’t know what to do for the best.”

“Do what you want to do Katniss; god knows you’ve earned it after everything. Hang the rest and do what you want.” Johanna says firmly, still holding onto the younger girl like a lifeline.

“It’s not that simple though, my family, and Peeta-”

“Fuck Peeta.” Johanna growls out.

“Jo, please. I’ll talk to you in the morning. I haven’t slept since I was in the Arena and we have Caesar’s show tomorrow I just-I need-” Katniss stuttered, unable to get her words out until Johanna interrupts her.

“Okay, okay. I’ll see you tomorrow?” Johanna questions trying to catch Katniss’s lowered eyes as she releases the girl’s wrists and Katniss leaves the room for her bed. “Sleep well.” Johanna calls softly to Katniss’s retreating back.

 

Johanna glances around the room and notices Peeta awkwardly attempting to look anywhere but at her, Haymitch looking at her like she’s had a death in the family and Effie’s compassionate stare.

“You’re soulmates Johanna; you’ll find a way to make this work.” Effie says, certain that there couldn’t possibly be another outcome.

“Johanna… if you ever want to talk…” Peeta trails off after Johanna snorts with laughter.

“I can’t think of anything I would want to do less.” Johanna said with certainty.

“Yeah… I get that.” Peeta said awkwardly, glancing round the room again. “Well, anyway it’s pretty late, and we do have that interview and crowning tomorrow… I’m going to go join Katniss. –separately, I mean in separate rooms, of course.” The boy stammered before quickly leaving the room for one of the other bedrooms in the huge living space.

“Johanna… you know it has to be this way.” Haymitch said, meeting her gaze.

 

Johanna was wrong before, Haymitch wasn’t looking at her like there had been a death in her family; he wanted her to kill her family. The family she hadn’t had in years ever since the Capitol murdered them all and she was being given another chance at.

 

“You can go to hell Abernathy.” Johanna said with her voice dripping with venom, glaring at the older victor. Effie looked between the two of them and clapped her hands together, interrupting both of the victor’s glares.

“Well! This has been _quite_ the day hasn’t it! Johanna, allow me to show you to a room, you can stay here tonight so you can… talk with Katniss in the morning. I’m sure after a good night’s sleep everything will look brighter!”  With that Effie led Johanna to another room along the corridor and ushered the speechless woman in before giving her a perky smile and closing the door on her.

 

* * *

 

Johanna did not have a good night’s sleep. She tossed and turned in the new bed, not two doors away from where Katniss was sleeping aching to go to her. She was out the Arena now, shouldn’t everything be easier? Katniss feels the connection between them, she must do, surely she wouldn’t want to resign herself to a life without it?

 

Johanna left her room as soon as the artificial light started dawning through the screen acting as a window. She wasn’t sleeping anyway and wanted to talk to Katniss as soon as possible before Caesar’s show. She was up early enough to watch the Avoxes prepare and leave the huge pile of food for breakfast before they left to go back to their separate quarters. Effie was up first and Johanna had to work hard to ignore her all too cheery attitude as she flitted about before leaving to organise for the interview later. Johanna wasn’t sure how long she was sat at the table waiting for Katniss before she heard the creak of another door and her heart sped up in anticipation, only for it to plummet in her chest when she realised it was Pitta.

 

“Johanna.” Peeta nodded at her when he sat down at the table laden with breakfast foods.

“Let’s not. Okay?” Johanna growls at the boy who nods empathetically.

“Sure, sure.” He said, resuming his attack on the pastries and assorted breads that were on his plate.

 

Johanna rolled her eyes and contemplated knocking on Katniss’s door, she had to be up by now, or at least awake. _Haymitch_ was up for Panem’s sake. Only he had turned back to having a liquid breakfast and was ignoring Johanna and Peeta in favour of the bar. Johanna sighed and slumped in the chair, she noticed Peeta’s gaze on her and glared at him before he dropped it guiltily, finishing up with his breakfast and leaving quickly as he muttered something about getting ready. Johanna was still at the table when the Avoxes returned and started clearing away the food, she pulled aside a selection of food, plating it up for Katniss for when she finally came out of her room.

 

“She doesn’t like to be cornered Johanna.” Haymitch’s voice broke through her silent trance, jarring Johanna back to the present.

“I’m not trapping her into anything, I just want to talk.” Johanna bit out.

“Maybe her silence is telling you what you need to know.”

 

Johanna rose from the table and moved back to the room she had been in during the night, she paused as she passed Katniss’s door but didn’t enter. If she was so anxious to avoid Johanna right now she’d let her. Johanna knew her patience wouldn’t last long though and for the rest of the day she attempted to fabricate reasons to see Katniss, not helped by Haymitch who seemed to be running interference for the girl, or her stylist who arrived much earlier than Johanna expected.

 

Katniss managed to avoid Johanna all day, time and again Johanna had tried to go and see her but she was turned away by either Haymitch or Katniss’s stylist, who had barely left her side since coming to get her ready for the show tonight. Pitta bread had given Johanna a few encouraging looks which just made her angry with him. he thought they were in the same position with Katniss, but while he had to keep being in love with her and pretend Johanna didn’t exist for the cameras, Johanna had to watch it all happen and not hack bread boy’s head off when she heard what sickening declarations of love he said for the cameras or got Katniss to say to him.

 

Johanna goes with Haymitch to Caesar’s show; Effie has already taken Katniss and Peeta to the set to meet people and for Cinna Katniss’s stylist to put some last finishing touches to her dress. Johanna knows that Katniss would ordinarily use anything she could to get out of going to a Capitol event early and the fact that she has gone now, just so she can avoid talking to Johanna, fills her with dread over what Katniss is planning to do after the victory tour is over. As Johanna and Haymitch walk through the backstage area of the show Johanna notices people don’t question the two of them showing up together anymore. Johanna overhears a few comments about victors dating and rolls her eyes, that was the Capitol all over, always gossiping always getting the details wrong.

 

“You’re not going to do anything right?” Haymitch broke the silence between them as they watched Caesar go over everything that had happened between Katniss and Peeta in the Arena, and kept prompting the audience to coo annoyingly over the adorable couple they made.

“Is that why you’ve been sticking so close to me? Afraid I’d run on stage and declare my undying love for Katniss in front of the Capitol?” Johanna asked bitterly.

“Is it?”

“Undying? I’d rather not find out.”

“Look, Johanna-”

“Haymitch. Don’t. Let’s just watch this nauseating piece of propaganda and then I can talk to Katniss.”

“You shouldn’t pressure her into doing this.” Haymitch spoke softly, almost too quiet for Johanna to hear over the background noise of the broadcasting show.

“You can’t control me Abernathy. You shouldn’t control Katniss either, you’ve done your job, your tributes survived the Games, now let them live their lives.” Johanna hissed angrily, trying to keep her voice down while the workers on the show were bustling about near them.

“Only to be killed by the Capitol anyway?”

“The Capitol aren’t going to give a crap about her once this all blows over.”

“Oh, you have no idea what’s been going on do you?” Haymitch said, looking over at Johanna almost pityingly.

“What do you mean?” Johanna demanded irritably.

“What’s been going on in the other districts since Katniss had the idea to pull those berries out, hell, it started when she put flowers all over that girl from Eleven.” Johanna glanced over at Haymitch who returned her gaze steadily. “The Capitol can’t afford to let her have any more power over them.”

“She doesn’t have any power over them!”

“Maybe not now, not herself, but what she’s been doing. _That_ has had a huge effect on everyone in the districts and the Capitol knows it. She’s dangerous to them Johanna, she could be what we’ve been waiting for.”

“Or she could go back to Twelve and live out her life.” Johanna returned heatedly.

“Come on Johanna, you know what this means, if it was anyone else doing this you’d be one of the first to be on board.”

“But it’s not anyone else, and why make things worse? They’re safe from the Capitol now, that’s one good thing about being a ‘victor’.” Johanna said bitterly.

 

Johanna and Haymitch looked back over to the screens showing the interview, the crowd were applauding wildly as they showed Katniss and Peeta’s embrace once they were out of the Arena, Peeta was staring at Katniss with a dopey look on his face and Katniss was doing her best to not glower at Caesar as he asked her more and more questions about their relationship. Caesar wrapped up the interview and President Snow appeared on stage to crown the two newest victors. Johanna noticed Katniss’s face froze as Snow spoke to her after placing the crown on her head, to the crowd’s cheers, and the smile Katniss was able to force afterwards looked fake but that didn’t matter, she had been crowned. Snow couldn’t do anything to Katniss now she was a victor, not publically anyway, Johanna knew about what he could do to the people she cared about but there would be ways to keep them safe.

  
After the interview Johanna attempted to get Katniss alone as the younger girl left the stage and went to change in one of the dressing rooms but Katniss shut her out and once her stylist’s assistants opened the door, taking the interview dress out with them Katniss kept talking to Cinna while she was there. Johanna knew Katniss was trying to ignore her but the younger girl’s eyes kept flicking to her as she paced the room.

 

Eventually Haymitch ducked into the room and asked what was taking them all so long, Katniss and Johanna followed Haymitch out of the building and met up with Peeta and Effie who were waiting by the vehicles. During the ride home Effie kept up a constant commentary on everything that was said or happened during Katniss and Peeta’s interview, blocking Johanna from talking with Katniss. Katniss avoided even looking at Johanna, keeping her gaze either fixed out of the window or looking at Effie when she asked her a question. Johanna caught pitying gazes from Effie and Peeta during the ride and narrowed her eyes, resolved to talk to Katniss as soon as they got back.

 

Once back in the new quarters Katniss eyes Johanna nervously, Johanna leans against a wall and watches the younger girl slink off into her room. Johanna follows her instantly, pulling Katniss into her arms as soon as the two are in the room, Katniss says stiff against Johanna and doesn't meet the older victor’s eyes.

 

"What's wrong?" Johanna tugs on Katniss's jaw, pulling her to face her.

 

Johanna tries to move into Katniss’s line of sight but Katniss avoids her gaze. Johanna's keeps her hand on Katniss's jaw and starts stroking it with her thumb; she can see Katniss’s eyes are shining with unshed tears and the sight makes Johanna’s heart clench in her chest. Johanna moves in closer to the taller girl and begins to pepper little kisses to her jaw, then she bites it. Hard.

 

"Ow! Johanna what the fuck?" Katniss shouts at her, eyes shimmering with anger.

"Thought I’d rather you were angry than sad, maybe this way you’d actually talk to me instead of trying to work everything out yourself." Johanna shrugs. Katniss sighed and relaxed slightly into Johanna.  
  
"I was thinking about what Haymitch said." Katniss mumbles, her hands slowly coming to rest on Johanna’s back.

  
"Fuck Haymitch." Johanna growled. "That drunk wouldn't know his arse from his elbow, if he would just give in and shag Effie we would all be a lot happier." Katniss gives Johanna a weak smile that doesn't reach her eyes. "Katniss, no. I'm not going to let you do this."

" _Let_ me?" Katniss raises her eyebrows "I'm sick of people _letting_ me do things, thinking I can't think for myself."

"So you don't want me?" Johanna said dropping her hands from Katniss, sounding angry but a hint of the insecurity she tried to hide bled through in her tone. Katniss looks at her and reaches out a hand to Johanna but Johanna knocks it away. "I don't need your pity princess, if you'd rather be stuck playing lovesick idiot for the Capitol with that... That _baker boy_ don't let me stop you. I saw you kiss him in the arena after all." Johanna moves closer to Katniss, her words sending hot blasts of air across the skin on Katniss's neck causing Katniss to shiver at the sensation.

“Jo… that’s not… everything is just such a mess. I don’t-” Katniss stutters and closes her eyes, letting out a long sigh that makes Johanna’s blood boil.

"Guess it’s okay with him right, he can make you feel alive?” Johanna spat out, anger colouring her tone. “He doesn't know you; he’s in love with the idea of you. The dream of the girl from Twelve with braided hair who can sing a song sweet enough to make the birds reply. I _know_ you." Johanna pulls at Katniss's hips roughly, keeping the two of them grounded together. "You're strong, stronger than I realised but you don't have to bend to everyone's will to keep it together, it's not up to you to protect everyone Katniss. You volunteered for your sister, you hunted to feed your family when you were too young to really fend for yourself, you killed to protect Rue, to avenge her, you put Cato out of his misery. But you're not a killer. Not really."

 

Katniss's eyes burn into Johanna's, a bright fury but something in them is changing, Katniss clenches her jaw and Johanna leans back. Moving away from the girl as if contact with Katniss was burning her.

  
"But you're a survivor more than anything. So what do you need to survive Katniss? The bread boy and his safe, boring little life in front of the cameras, going home to polite kisses and two darling kids, or fire?"  Johanna stared at Katniss, daring her to deny any of what Johanna had said, forcing her to admit what it was between them.

 

Katniss doesn’t say anything; instead she reaches for Johanna, grabbing the shorter victor by the neck, hands tangling into her hair, pulling Johanna into her, tugging her closer to Katniss’s body. Their mouths crash together, biting and angry and oh gods, so good. Johanna can't help the moan escaping her and feels Katniss's answering passion in the roughness of her grip, sliding down from Johanna's head to swipe across the skin bearing her name. Johanna lets out a gasp, even through her clothes she can feel the soulmark burning under Katniss's touch. Johanna pushes Katniss back, unwilling to be the only one coming so obviously undone and drags her mouth away from Katniss's entrancing lips, to the vocal disapproval of the younger girl.

 

Johanna moves her way down Katniss's neck giving her teasing nips and biting kisses until she reaches her collar bone Johanna gives it a harder nip and Katniss groans, her hands clutching at Johanna's hips as if they’re the only thing keeping her grounded. Johanna smirks at the thought and moves her hands up, brushing roughly against Katniss's sides; dragging them up, up towards Katniss's breasts that are heaving visibly her top due to her panting breaths. Johanna gives a predatory grin and as soon as her hands make contact with the soft flesh below Katniss moans louder, her knees almost buckling as she struggles under the onslaught of feelings Johanna is evoking within her. Johanna pushes into Katniss, using her body to hold the younger girl up as she continues her frantic attack on Katniss’s senses. Feeling like she can’t ever get close enough to Katniss when a cheery voice interrupts the two victors with all the strength of an icy waterfall.

 

“Johanna, Katniss, would you two like to join us for dinner? I’ll save you some if not but I thought you’d like to know it was out here. I made sure they would have some of your favourites.” Effie’s voice chimed through the door, causing Katniss to freeze instantly.

“Damnit Effie.” Johanna groans, her head falling to rest on Katniss’s shoulder.

“Are you hungry?”

“Not really.” Katniss says yawning.

“I would have thought you’d have got enough sleep earlier today.” Johanna said strained. Katniss stares at her blankly for a moment then blushes.

“I wasn’t asleep. I couldn’t sleep all night I just kept thinking things over and thinking about our options and what the Capitol might do.”

“I couldn’t sleep either.” Johanna says quietly, holding Katniss’s gaze intently.

“We really are useless aren’t we?” Katniss laughs as she yawns again.

“How about we nap instead then get some food later?” Johanna says smiling at the younger girl.

 

Katniss nods and Johanna gathers her into her arms, moving towards the bed. It feels so good to be able to hold her like this  Johanna intends to stay awake until Katniss wakes up, committing every part of this to her memory. But before she knows it a loud bang causes both victors to shoot upright on the bed, both instantly alert and looking for danger and Johanna realises she had wasted her time with Katniss by sleeping.

 

“Train for the tour leaves in two hours!” Haymitch shouts through the door. “You better be decent and ready to go before then, or I’m coming in regardless.”

 

Johanna could hear him as he stomped angrily down the corridor and slowly let herself relax back on the bed, Katniss folding into her like she had never left her arms.

 

“I have to get up; I have to go on the victory tour.” Katniss says, contradicting her words as she snuggled closer to Johanna, pushing her face further into the space between Johanna’s neck and shoulder.

“Well, have fun out there.” Johanna says glibly, then her expression changes and she looks at Katniss seriously. “And don’t think too much about it all, just say the words they tell you to and think that soon you’ll be back in Twelve, with your sister.” Johanna said stroking Katniss’s back.

“And you?” Katniss said tentatively.

“I’ll go to Seven for a bit, while you’re doing your tour at least. You better look me up while you’re there.” Johanna teases.

“I meant… you said I’d see Prim in Twelve, will I see you there?”

“And me.” Johanna leans forward and kissed Katniss soundly before reluctantly drawing away and untangling herself from the younger girl.

“I’m going to miss these mattresses.” Katniss yawns out, stretching like a cat before rising.

“I wouldn’t worry, you’ll be moving to the victor’s village, they’ll have all the Capitol comforts you’ve grown so used to.” Johanna manages to get out, unable to take her eyes off Katniss as she arches on the bed.

“I forgot about that… guess it really won’t be the same when I go back.”

“Some things will be different, but everything you remember will still be there, just maybe now you’ll see it differently.”

“Is that how you felt when you went back to Seven after your Games?”

“Not straight away, no. But after I lost my family everything was just… different.”

 “What if the Capitol find out about this Jo?” Katniss asks worriedly.

“Hey, it’ll all be fine. I thought you agreed that you can’t let them rule your life forever.”

“I know, it’s just, Prim and- we’ll have to be careful when we get back, the Capitol aren’t just going to forget about me and Peeta, and if they come after my family-” Katniss voice speeds up in panic before Johanna cuts her off.

“The last thing I want to do is endanger you or your family. The cameras won’t be on you forever, let me know when to come see you in Twelve.” Johanna said, pulling Katniss into a comforting hug that was interrupted by Haymitch banging on their door again, telling them it was time to leave.

 

Johanna went with the victors from Twelve to the station, there was a different train heading to Seven but she wouldn’t have to wait too long, she’d rather be here anyway. She’d rather take any opportunity she could to see Katniss before she would be hours away from her. Katniss looked at Johanna forlornly as their train pulled up making the older victor laugh even as her heart was breaking inside. Johanna was mindful of the peacekeepers and Capitol citizens around them as she pulled the younger girl to her and inhaled her scent, trying to memorise everything about Katniss until she could be with her again.

 

“I’ll see you soon.” Johanna said once the all too brief hug was over.

 

Katniss didn’t say anything but nodded, Haymitch was glaring at her and looked ready to drag Katniss onto the train. Johanna started to speak before she was cut off, the air knocked out of her body by an exuberant hug from Effie who loudly announced her intention to invite Johanna to Twelve. Johanna stared with blurry eyes at the group from Twelve as they moved towards the train, Haymitch kept an arm on Katniss as they boarded and too soon the train was leaving. Johanna watched as it sped away, feeling like something was being pulled from inside her. She angrily blinked away the blurriness in her vision and moved to wait for the train going to Seven, hoping that Katniss didn’t wait too long before she asked her to visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soo yup. Penultimate chapter. Next one will be an epilogue. Thinking of doing Catching Fire as a continuation as Johanna was _actually_ in that book/film, so there would be more interaction between them. Also that elevator scene.


	16. Epilogue

The victory tour in Seven had been brief, Johanna could tell now that Haymitch had been right about the disquiet in the districts, they had cut the time short in all of the districts and Katniss didn’t even speak at them. Just stood behind Peeta and smiled for the crowds who were under constant watch from armed peacekeepers. They hadn’t even stayed long enough in Seven for Johanna to break her rule of not contacting Katniss until she thought she was safe enough from the Capitol’s watchful eye and initiated it. And Johanna knew herself well enough to know she would have done that in a flash if she had the chance. So Johanna had been sitting in her house alone, spending longer and longer at target practice with her axes. Even Blight had grown frustrated with her one word answers and longer silences about what was wrong and had left her to her own self-destructive devices.

 

When finally she received a call from Twelve, Johanna had been out throwing her axes when the call had come in and she didn’t know the number but the area code clearly said Twelve and she knew only the victor’s houses would have the technology to send call messages. Johanna quickly returned the call, her heart picking up speed as she waited impatiently for Katniss to answer; only the voice on the other line wasn’t Katniss

“Johanna, hey.” Johanna felt her stomach drop, why was Peeta answering Katniss’s phone, just how much time did he spend in her house for him to answer her calls? “I hope it’s okay me calling, Haymitch gave me your number.”

“ _You_ called me?”

“Yeah, hope that’s okay-”

“From where?” Johanna interrupts.

“From… home?” Peeta answers bemused.

“Your home?”

“Oh… yeah. My home. Look I’ll cut to the chase, the reason I’m calling is to invite you up.”

“I was waiting for Katniss to invite me. I didn’t want to come up while everything was still crazy with… the tour and everything.” Johanna paused, knowing she was lying to herself, the victory tour had been over for months but she hadn’t gone up uninvited out of fear Katniss wouldn’t want to see her and everything would be back to square one, or that her going up would endanger Katniss’s family. And the fact that on the tour Katniss and Peeta had played up the loved up fools who would sacrifice themselves for one another which hadn’t helped.

“I love her, but I know she needs you more than me. Everything I say seems to be the wrong thing these days. She hasn’t been sleeping. She misses you I know she does but if I bring you up she shuts down and either changes the subject or leaves the room completely.” Peeta rushes out, his worry for Katniss clear in his tone.

“Have you told her I’m coming?” Johanna asks, ignoring the boy’s declaration of love in favour of trying to remember the train schedule for Seven, and how long it took her to get to that district on her victory tour so she can get to Katniss as fast as possible.

“Well, you’ve not told me you’re coming yet.” Johanna rolls her eyes at the blurry screen showing Peeta’s face.

“Don’t be a dolt, I’ll be there.”

“I’ll let her know.” Peeta answers and the two spend an awkward few moments in silence before Peeta clears his throat. “So, next train then? I’ll pick you up from the station.”

“Don’t bother.” Johanna starts to say but the call disconnects before she can say anything truly biting to the blonde boy.  
  


* * *

 

Johanna was staring out the windows on the train compartment trying to get a glimpse of who was there to pick her up, if anyone. She didn’t actually need anyone to come get her, she had told Peeta as much after all. But that was because she didn’t want him to pick her up from the station and take her to Twelve, she wanted Katniss. But there was no way of knowing how Katniss had taken the news of her arrival. Johanna’s stomach clenched as she considered what would happen if Katniss wasn’t pleased to see her.

 

When Johanna departed the train and she saw the bread boy’s smiling face her heart sank, Peeta raced over to her and started chattering about her journey down but Johanna wasn’t listening to him. She subtly scanned the rest of the station and was drawn back when she heard Peeta says Katniss’s name.

“What?”

“I just said that Katniss isn’t here.” Peeta looked uncomfortable and Johanna scoffed.

“I never asked if she was.”

“Yeah but-” Peeta quickly stopped talking after he caught sight of the glare on Johanna’s face, maybe he does have some survival instincts after all Johanna mused. “I’ll take you to my house first, and then I’ll let Katniss know you’re here.” Peeta said as he attempted to take Johanna’s duffel bag from her.

“You didn’t tell her already?” Johanna asks angrily, scowling at the boy and yanking her bag back hard enough that he almost lost his balance.

“No, I did-”

“Did she know what time I was coming in?”

“Yes.” Peeta looks over at Johanna and she knows he’s watching her face for any sign of emotion but she’s had enough time while Katniss was in the Games, or on the tour, to mask her feelings for the girl.

 

They made it to Peeta’s house without incident, Johanna received a few interested looks as they passed through the district to get to victor’s village but everyone seemed to regard her as just another curiosity Twelve had to bear now that they had two new victors. Peeta was smiling and waving at almost everyone they passed and Johanna couldn’t help but roll her eyes, it seemed the bread boy was just as sickeningly charming wherever he was. Peeta’s house looked much like her own in Seven, minus the axe marks on almost every surface and the furniture she had made to replace the Capitol’s extravagant pieces. Although most of those had borne the brunt of her anger at returning to Seven alone at the end of the last Games while she watched Katniss and Peeta together on their victory tour.

 

Once inside Peeta’s house Johanna could tell the uncomfortable atmosphere between the two of them was getting to the baker boy, something she found a perverse pleasure in; Johanna sat down at the kitchen table and waited for the boy to make the tea. Just as the water started to boil Katniss burst in through the front door, Johanna stood up, trying to come up with an argument as to why she was there, or defend herself to Katniss. But she kept moving through the room when she saw Johanna and threw herself at the older victor. Katniss almost knocked Johanna to the ground with the force of the contact, her arms coming up to wrap around Johanna, trusting her to either stop the two from falling to the floor or for Johanna to cushion her fall. Johanna hadn’t known what to expect when Katniss had launched herself at her, she half thought Katniss was planning on attacking her, but was in such a state of shock at seeing her again, and so suddenly that she hadn’t thought to protect herself.

 

Johanna felt so happy at the turn of events she let out an unrestrained laugh, all her fears about Katniss deciding they weren’t soulmates, or it wasn’t worth the risk to continue seeing each other vanished while she felt the girl’s warm body against her own.

 

“I wasn’t sure of my welcome. Johanna murmurs into Katniss’s neck, the younger girl just hugs her tighter. “This show of emotion is very unlike you.”

“I missed you.” Katniss said simply, still hugging Johanna tight.

 

The two eventually broke apart and Johanna took in Peeta’s red face and his attempt to avoid eye contact with either of the two female victors and couldn’t help but smirk. She hoped she would stop feeling like she was in competition with the boy for Katniss’s affections soon. Hopefully with the victory tour complete by the time next year’s Games roll around the Capitol will be too interested in the new batch of tributes that she and Katniss will be able to act naturally around each other without too much media attention. Although it would probably take a few Games and a few dozen more children’s deaths before the Capitol would accept Katniss and bread boy breaking up their pretend relationship without a fuss. At least Peeta seemed fine with her and Katniss being together, Johanna conceded he could have made the whole situation much more difficult for the two of them and she should really do something nice for the boy to show him she appreciated it. Of course the thought of actually addressing the fact that he had any sway over Johanna’s life or Katniss’s affections was utterly disturbing, so maybe he’d have to settle for her not hitting him _too_ hard next time he said something idiotic. Anyone would be pleased with that gift Johanna thought, eying the blonde boy as he flitted about his kitchen.

 

“Come to my house.” Katniss said her hand entwining with Johanna’s, pulling her out of her internal musings.

“Does your mother know about me?”

“No.” Katniss replies shortly, Johanna can’t hide the look of pain that word caused her fast enough and she sees Katniss frown. “After dad died my mother and I were never very close, we weren’t that close to begin with really, but afterwards she just… wasn’t there. Prim is excited to meet you though. I didn’t tell her about… everything. But I talked about you to her enough that she’s probably more excited than me to see you.” Katniss grinned at that and Johanna rolled her eyes.

“Aw, you were talking about me.”

“Well she asked me about the Capitol and the Games, you were one of the few things I actually liked talking about.”

 

Johanna grinned at Katniss at her confession and the younger girl blushed, rolling her eyes as she directed Johanna towards her house in victor’s village. Johanna didn’t have long to wait before she met Katniss’s mother, as soon as the two entered Katniss’s house Johanna was met by a disapproving glare from Mrs Everdeen coming from the kitchen where she looked to be sorting plants into different piles and adding some to an assortment of pots on the stove.

 

“Mom this is Johanna Mason from Seven, Jo this is Iris Everdeen, my mother.” Katniss introduced the two and attempted to move Johanna further into the house but Johanna resisted in favour of talking to Katniss’s mother.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Mrs Everdeen.” Johanna said politely holding out her hand to Katniss’s mother. Katniss scoffed beside her and Johanna turned to glare at the younger girl, dropping her hand after she realised the elder woman wasn’t moving any closer to greet her.

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you so polite before.” Katniss muttered as her mother turned her attention back to the pile of herbs and flowers in front of her, occasionally glancing at the two victors still standing by the door.

 

Katniss successfully manoeuvred Johanna past her mother’s disapproving glances and into the lounge area and the two sat down but were quickly interrupted by the sound of running footsteps and Johanna saw Katniss’s sister for the first time. Prim came to an abrupt halt when she saw Johanna and glanced between her sister and the victor from Seven for a few moments before her face split into a wide grin and she rushed to the seat near Katniss. Katniss brushed the hair back from Prim’s face and concerned herself with trying to tidy the young girl up, Prim pushed her hands away and stared at Johanna who was surprised at the display of warmth from Katniss. Her experience of the girl from Twelve was of someone who was reserved and didn’t easily show her affections.

 

“You must be Johanna.” Prim said staring at the victor from Seven contemplatively.

“Yep. Thought I’d come for a visit, see Haymitch and check out Twelve and all that.” Johanna waved her hand hoping to encompass all the other things there surely wasn’t to see in Twelve.

“You’ve never visited Haymitch before.” Prim said

“Yeah, well me and him got closer in this past Games.”

“Yes there was some gossip about you two being together in the Capitol broadcasts.” Prim grinned at Johanna. “But Peeta said he was picking you up from the station and you’ve come straight here so I don’t think that’s true. You’d want to go visit with your boy or girlfriend straight away if you were together wouldn’t you?”

“I suppose I would.” Johanna answers carefully, aware of Katniss shifting uncomfortably in her seat.

“That’s what I thought.” Prim answers happily, glancing at Katniss before smiling widely at Johanna. “You were always kinda mean when you were interviewed for stuff before.”

“I suppose I was.”

“Probably because you can be right? I mean you’re a victor you can pretty much do what you like.”

“Not quite…” Johanna said, she thought Katniss’s mother would be the one to worry about but here her twelve year old sister was making her sweat. She seemed to know more about their relationship than Johanna would have thought but maybe that was just her own guilty conscience?

“Just because we’re victors doesn’t mean the Capitol will leave us alone.” Katniss interrupted the interrogation Prim was giving Johanna and looked at her sister nervously. Prim just nodded and smiled at the two of them before standing up and moving towards the door.

“I’m going to go visit with Sal, she said she had some things Buttercup might like.” And with that Prim skipped out of the room and Katniss and Johanna both exhaled in relief.

“Jesus Katniss your sister should take over Caesar’s job.” Johanna said slumping in her seat.

“I knew I talked about you too much.” Katniss said worriedly, starting to panic. “What if she says something? What if the Capitol hears about her talking about us and takes her away to question her?”

“Hey, hey, she doesn’t know anything. And she won’t tell anyone; even I can see that she would never do anything that might hurt someone.” Johanna said moving to comfort the younger girl.

 

Johanna pulled Katniss into a hug and ran her hands soothingly over Katniss’s back, Katniss grasped at Johanna’s shirt and held tightly to the older victor who kept her arms wrapped around Katniss, whispering soothing promises to her until her breaths slowed down and she felt her relax against her. Katniss broke apart from Johanna self-consciously and the two wandered back into the kitchen in search of food and Johanna is once again caught by Mrs Everdeen’s disapproving gaze. Johanna does her best to ignore her and fights her usual impulse which would be to demand an explanation for the looks and possibly punch someone. But then to Johanna’s surprise Katniss intervened on her behalf.

 

“Can you stop being so rude to my guest.” Katniss says cuttingly.

“I don’t like that someone affiliated with the Capitol is here in our home.” She spoke up

“This is _my_ home and I’ll have whoever I want in it. And if Johanna’s affiliated with the Capitol then I am too now.” Katniss glares at her mother and Johanna shifts awkwardly beside her.

“Whatever’s cooking smells great.” Johanna offers, trying to break the obvious tension in the room.

“It smells like rotten eggs.” Katniss’s mother said. Staring at Johanna like she was an idiot. “It’s to make a healing salve for burns.”

“Oh.” Johanna said, noticing Katniss’s amusement at her blunder.

“Mom doesn’t cook.” Katniss murmured, watching her mother leave the house in the search for more herbs, Katniss’s hand snakes up to wrap around Johanna’s waist and she leads her to the leftover game stew.

“That’s the last time I try and be nice to anyone.” Johanna grumbled, leaning into Katniss’s touch.

“Aw you held out all of ten minutes.” Katniss cooed, amused at Johanna’s annoyance. “I’ll have to tell Haymitch he won the bet with Peeta.”

“Those two bet on whether I’d be nice?” Johanna asked incredulously. “Surely Haymitch knows me better than that.”

“They bet on whether you’d try and make a good impression on my mom. Haymitch bet you’d break within half an hour. Don’t worry,” Katniss said seeing the offended look on Johanna’s face. “She doesn’t know about anything, about how I feel about you.” Johanna couldn’t help the warm glow at Katniss’s words and moved to kiss Katniss but the younger girl backed away, looking warily around the room.

“Even in your own house?” Johanna groans.

“I don’t want to give the Capitol any reason to ask Prim or my mom about us. Although they’ll probably guess something’s up, they’ve seen how I interact with Peeta, how I interact with you.”

 

The two make short work of the leftover food and move back into the lounge, Johanna joins Katniss on the overstuffed sofa in the room and does her best to pull Katniss as close to her as she can while the younger girl talks about her victory tour. After Johanna’s fifth yawn Katniss smiles at the older girl and checks the time.

 

“Come on,” Katniss said standing up. “I’ll show you to your room.”

“It’s still early.” Johanna complained.

“Yeah, but you’re dead on your feet, what time did you get up for the train in Seven this morning?” Katniss argues. Katniss leads Johanna upstairs and stops outside a bedroom, Johanna quirks an eyebrow at Katniss and goes to draw the younger girl closer to her but Katniss backs away nervously from Johanna.

“My room’s just down there.” Katniss said pointing at a room close to the end of the hall.

“I see. And are you pointing this out so I can find the right room in the middle of the night?” Johanna asks smirking at Katniss. Katniss blushes at this and Johanna stares at the younger girl, willing her to come closer to her again.

“I- I- well-”

“I’m joking Katniss.” Johanna says finally. “I know that this… this is too soon.” Johanna watches Katniss relax and she opens her arms and the younger girl steps into her gratefully. Johanna holds Katniss close to her and kisses her cheek. “I’ll see you in the morning?”

“I’ll wake you up.” Katniss replies her eyes glinting and she leans down to capture Johanna’s lips against her own.

 

The next morning Johanna was woken up early by the smell of bacon and coffee, she went downstairs expecting to see Katniss’s mother cooking but was instead greeted by the sight of Katniss standing barefoot in an old shirt and trousers. Katniss noticed Johanna in the doorway and gestured at the coffee on the side while she kept her attention on the stove. Johanna walked up to the younger girl and wrapped her arms around her waist, nuzzling into her neck, Katniss leaned back into the embrace and Johanna placed a kiss on Katniss’s jaw.

“Good morning Johanna.” Katniss said cheerfully.

“Mm morning. I didn’t know you could cook.”

“Well, you might want to reserve judgement until after you’ve eaten.” Katniss said, moving out of Johanna’s grip to plate up the food; Johanna took her plate and followed Katniss to the table.

“Is there any particular reason you’re up so early?” Johanna asked once she’d finished her breakfast.

“I wanted to show you the forest.” Katniss said, looking almost shy.

“We do have trees in Seven you know.” Johanna looked at Katniss and felt her heart beat faster as she saw met the younger girl’s eyes. Johanna got up from her seat and moved over to where Katniss was, cupping her hand around Katniss’s neck and tilting her head so Johanna could bring their lips together in a slow kiss. “I would like to see where you learnt to shoot your bow like that though.” Johanna said to a breathless Katniss, her fingers circling patterns on the exposed skin on Katniss’s neck. Katniss looked at Johanna starry eyed and tugged her closer for another kiss before breaking contact and smiling at Johanna as the two got ready for the walk to the forest.

 

Katniss and Johanna made their way towards the forest, Katniss kept lookout for Johanna and held the broken fence for her to slip through before she came through herself, Johanna smiled at the act, now Katniss was a victor it was unlikely the peacekeepers would care if she was found outside the boundary of Twelve. Not if she was with Peeta at any rate, she reminded herself, if it those two were ever found slipping off for some time together they’d probably hold a press conference and argue over rights to their wedding. Johanna shuddered at the thought, at least Katniss and Peeta had been given separate houses in victor’s village and they had both been using their parent’s disapproval over their young ages as a reason they weren’t living together. Although Johanna had to admit that excuse was wearing thin, even in the Capitol, old enough to die but not to live together? It wouldn’t be long before the Capitol demanded something more from them, or Haymitch suggested they step up their game. Johanna’s stomach clenched at the thought, she had to make sure she and Katniss were in this together, that the younger girl still didn’t have the idea that she had to play a role for the benefit of other people.

 

Once Katniss had taken Johanna a little way into the trees Katniss stopped dead, she hears something Johanna misses and veers off to the side. Johanna follows and they come across a dark haired boy Johanna had seen in some of the early footage about Katniss before she was in the Arena. The dark haired boy smiles at Katniss and ignored Johanna.

 

“So this is your _cousin_ is he Katniss?" Johanna stressed the word the Capitol had branded the brooding boy as, interrupting the scene before her; Gale turned his gaze from Katniss to glare at Johanna.

"Another victor? I am honoured." Gale deadpans, "Twelve seems to be the place everyone wants to be these days." He holds his hand out for Johanna to shake and once they do he tightens his grip, Johanna returns his hold and the two scowl at each other while Katniss looks on, seemingly oblivious.

“Were you going hunting Katnip?” Gale said turning his attention back to Katniss, Johanna stiffens at the nickname falling from Gale’s mouth. “I’d have thought you’d have more than enough to eat now you’re living in those fancy houses in victor’s village.”

“I just wanted to show Johanna this place.”

“I would help, only I don’t have much time to be out here anymore.” Gale said staring up at the sunlight dappled through the branches. “I’m working in the mines now, I thought it best to have a job that’s guaranteed to put food on the table to feed my brothers, to make sure Prim and your mom had food.”

“Well she’s back now so you don’t have to.” Johanna said enraged at the manipulative way he had told Katniss what he was doing.

“I’m sorry Gale.” Katniss looked guilty and upset and Johanna was furious at the boy for making her feel like she owed him anything.

“Don’t worry about it Katnip, maybe I’ll be able to see you some more now you’re back. If you’re not too busy with your new Capitol friends.” Gale said glancing at Johanna who blanched at being called a Capitol citizen.

 

Johanna glared at Gale who nodded at Katniss, ignoring Johanna as he started back towards Twelve leaving Johanna and Katniss to continue on their walk through the woods. Once Johanna was able to focus on something other than what Gale had said Johanna starts to notice their surroundings, the trees so different from the trees in Seven, these haven’t ever seen an axe and they wouldn’t be able to get the lumber back to the district even if they did fell one with how close together everything was. But it was peaceful, it had the same soothing quality she had always enjoyed about Seven, and it was so quiet. Far away from the eyes of anyone at Twelve, or the Capitol. Johanna felt a weight lift from her shoulders and she watched the younger girl as she navigated the place she had spent most of her time, the place that had given her the skills to survive the Arena.

 

Johanna noticed that while for the most part Katniss seemed comfortable moving between the trees, walking soundlessly among the debris on the floor with the kind of effortless grace most people could never hope to accomplish sometimes she would suddenly start or flinch away. Sometimes from a shadow moving behind a tree or the sound of a branch creaking. After Katniss shied away from a bird as it flew out from a bush Johanna closed the distance between the two of them and grabbed Katniss’s hand, lacing their fingers together. Katniss squeezed the hand seemingly on reflex as the bird passed over the two of them, crying out in alarm as it went, then the younger girl seemed to come back to herself and looked down at Johanna’s hand in hers in surprise. Johanna watched Katniss’s face as she looked at the hands and tugged her over to a small clearing pulling the girl down onto the floor with her. The two sat in companionable silence for a while before Katniss started speaking.

 

“It’s not all the time.” Katniss says quietly. “Just… sometimes the memories come back when I don’t expect them. This always used to be my favourite place and now when I’m here I can’t help but think of the Arena, of what I did there. Of everyone who went in and didn’t come out.”

“That wasn’t your fault.”

“I know they all weren’t, and some were accidents, like Foxface, and Cato, he would have killed me and Peeta if he could, and the mutts had him I just gave him a clean end... but Marvel… He killed Rue. And the worst thing is I don’t feel guilty for killing him. So what does that make me?” Katniss was staring off into the woods, lost in her own private viewing of the 74th Games.

“I’m not going to tell you everything will be all right, because it won’t. There’s not some magical cure, or set amount of time before you can look back at it all without ever feeling the burn. It will get better though.” Johanna reaches over and brushes the hair away from Katniss’s face, pulling the younger girl’s gaze back to her. “And we’re not like Peeta, he was too good to win in the Arena, he didn’t think he would win, he just wanted you to live. And you shouldn’t feel guilty about that because you survived, and you brought him out too. Everything else we lay on the Capitol.” Johanna said firmly.

  
Johanna reached out and held Katniss’s hand, who smiled softly at the touch but remained looking into the distance, Johanna could tell her mind was still on what happened in the Arena. Johanna was content to sit there with the girl, making sure she knew there was someone to come back to after the memories of the Arena faded. She absently stroked the side of Katniss’s hand with her thumb and relaxed in the quiet of Twelve’s forest. After a time Katniss stirred and seemed ready to move on from the memories of the Arena, Johanna took a deep breath and steeled herself to ask the question she had been mulling over in her mind for weeks now, apprehensive of what Katniss’s reaction might be.

  
"So remember a lifetime ago, before you went into the Arena, when you said we'd talk after the Games then when we kind of came to an arrangement, I thought at least, after Caesar’s interview, but then you had the idea you had to play Juliette to bread boys Romeo? Well I was wondering if now would be a good time to, just, lay it all out there I guess? I mean, as much as I love this whole hot and cold thing we have going on it would be nice to just, you know...” Johanna paused, her heart beating rapidly after her rushed speech and looked at Katniss who was focusing on anywhere other than Johanna.

“An arrangement?” Katniss asks dryly, scraping at the ground with an arrowhead in an attempt to distract from her obvious discomfort of the situation.

"Katniss." Johanna says softly as she turns to face the younger girl.

"Why do you do that?" Katniss sighs out frustrated.

"Do what?" Johanna asks confused.

"Everyone tells me you're so hard and unfeeling and whenever you're interviewed you're just a ball of sarcasm and vitriol and I can handle you being like that. But then you look at me and everything about you softens."

"You're the only one I trust."

"You hardly know me." Katniss replies sceptically.

"That's not true." Johanna keeps Katniss's gaze "Tell me this isn't the same for you? Your name is branded onto my skin Katniss, you’re my soulmate.”

"Johanna..." Katniss trailed off, breaking eye contact with the older girl.

"Just admit it, I know you are, if you weren't you would have been quick to tell me during the Games." Johanna pulls Katniss’s gaze back to her and stares into her eyes, daring her to make another excuse, or to lie about what they both knew was true.

 

Katniss stared at Johanna for what seems like forever, Johanna gets lost in her gaze and only realises Katniss is lifting up her shirt with one hand when the other grabs onto Johanna’s hand clutching it tightly. Johanna's eyes dropped to the smooth expanse of skin being revealed and grinned when she saw the beginnings of Katniss’s soulmark. Johanna traced the fingers of her free hand gently over the name etched into Katniss’s skin.

 

"You’re mine." Johanna breathed out, her voice choked with emotion. Katniss laughs and she sounds free for the first time since she volunteered for the games, Johanna’s heart flutters in her chest

"I think if anything you're mine." Katniss teased back.  


Katniss leaned into Johanna, pulling her closer by their joined hands. They met in a soft kiss that quickly gained heat and passion. Johanna’s fingers were still stroking the skin above Katniss’s soulmark, tracing invisible patterns there.

  
  
"I remember watching your games." Katniss said when she pulled back from Johanna.

"Oh?" Johanna was reluctant to let the younger girl go and tried to pull her back to her body. Katniss smiled at her and kissed her jaw holding Johanna’s hand in her own to keep them connected.

"I didn't think you'd survive." Katniss said, all trace of levity gone from her voice. Johanna looked at her and saw the pain in her eyes. "My soulmark had only come in the year before your Games and I hated it. Not only was it a signal that I could be sent away from my family to be in the Games but I couldn't stand the thought of losing anyone else. Of caring about anyone enough to let it hurt when they died. I'd already lost my father, he died when I was eleven and I had to work so hard at keeping my family together. And then you were reaped, and you were so small."

“I was 17! Older than you were when you volunteered.” Johanna exclaimed in feigned outrage.

“You’re still small now.” Katniss grinned at the older girl and muffled a cry as Johanna attempted to tickle her sides. Katniss pushes Johanna off of her and attempts to get her breath back, watching Johanna with shining eyes.

"I didn't think you'd survive either" Johanna's grin quickly slides from her face and her eyes become haunted. "I know what it's like Katniss. I know what it's like to lose the people you love. And I didn't want to care for you but I couldn't help myself. I love you, you're mine and I'm yours. And if the Capitol try to separate is again I'll kill Snow myself."

"For a moment there you were so sweet, and then you had to threaten to kill someone." Katniss smiles softly at her.

"Get used to it baby." Johanna pulls Katniss in for another kiss but Katniss puts a hand on her chest stopping her Johanna looks at her confused.

"Baby?" Katniss says with distaste.

"Honey? Love muffin? Snookums?" Johanna offers, grinning at her. Katniss rolls her eyes and pulls Johanna towards her by her shirt. "Sweet potato." Johanna gets out her grin stretching across her face. Katniss slaps her arm and tries to get up but Johanna holds on to her and crushes their mouths together, Katniss instantly relaxes at the contact and melts into Johanna.

 

They sit together under the trees, leaning against each other and occasionally turning to kiss the other’s lips or cheek until Katniss sighs and extricates herself from Johanna’s grasp. Johanna stares at her once Katniss gets up and the younger girl holds out a hand to Johanna who grabs it with a smile and the two slowly walk back to Twelve.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thought I’d give it a fluffy ending after everything that happened. If/when I do the Catching Fire continuation they will have regressed back into angst as Johanna will not appreciate Katniss’s continued fake relationship with Peeta.  
> CF may be M rated if I can write sexy times without it being too awkward for everyone involved. If anyone has any name suggestions for the sequel I’d like to hear them because everything I think of so far I hate after about ten minutes.
> 
> Hope you guys like the ending, apologies for any spelling or grammar mistakes I didn’t catch, if you see any let me know and I’ll correct them.

**Author's Note:**

> So, thoughts? This is my first fanfic so if you see a mistake or hate it please follow each criticism with a gif of Jennifer Lawrence to protect my delicate mental balance.


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